Role Reversal
by RandomGerman
Summary: What if Bella had never refused the way it was supposed to be, but chosen life over superficial sparkles? In Twilight, she doesn't have a mind of her own. Will fate bring her and Jake together? This is not just another love stoy! Starts in beginning of first book and shows how our favorite characters grow a backbone and personality. To be reposted!
1. Storms ahead

**This is my first-ever attempt at writing AND English is a foreign language for me, so please be kind. I'd love to get some reviews so I'll know if I should keep on writing. Pretty please, review!**

**DISCLAIMER: **

**This goes for all the chapters: I do not own any Twilight characters, Stephenie Meyer does. I just make them fall in love.**

**Unwritten is (as any other songs quoted here) also not mine, though it might be the motto of my life.**

**Chapter 1: Storms ahead **

**Bella's Point of View**

* * *

I am unwritten,

can't read my mind,

I'm undefined  
I'm just beginning,

the pen's in my hand,

ending unplanned.

Staring at the blank page before you,  
Open up the dirty window,  
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find.

Reaching for something in the distance,  
So close you can almost taste it,  
Release your inhibitions.

Feel the rain on your skin,  
No one else can feel it for you.  
Only you can let it in,  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips,  
Drench yourself in words unspoken,  
Live your life with arms wide open,  
Today is where your book begins.  
The rest is still unwritten.

I break tradition,

sometimes my tries

are outside the lines.  
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes,

but I can't live that way!

(Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten)

* * *

Okay, calm down, Bella Swan, I thought to myself as I laid on my bed. It was much too late to still be awake, but I just couldn't seem to stop wondering. There was a storm of thoughts in my head, or rather a hurricane. Random thoughts kept popping up and my mind was a tangled mess of chaotic associations and feelings that were all screaming and shouting at me to listen.

I had only started school in Forks, Washington, a few weeks ago but there was already more drama in my life than ever before- and more than I cared for, actually. I had spent the first years of my life living here with my parents but had moved to Phoenix, Arizona, with my mother Renee when my parents divorced, leaving Charlie behind. I often felt as though I had betrayed him and my childhood friends, but it was hard to stay in contact being this young. Being a visitor to your own home was downright cruel to me, so I soon stopped visiting altogether. Now I was back of my own volition: I wanted to give my mother and her husband Phil some time to find themselves and to discover the world. Part of it was also for personal reasons: I wanted to rediscover my roots and to reconnect old ties. So far it wasn't working too well: I was confused, mystified and caught up in my thoughts.

I shook my head as if to chase them away and took a deep breath to steady myself. It seemed to work- for almost ten seconds. Then my thoughts returned to the mysterious Edward Cullen. Yet again, as though they were tiny planets attracted by his gravity or much rather his beautiful golden eyes. They were the windows to the enigma that was his soul. It seemed to be a stormy place- confusion, hatred and gentleness swirled in them.

Those eyes… They were too confusing to be a human being's. Every time he looked at me, looked through my very self to the bottom of my soul, I forgot how to breathe. I even forgot that I could breathe. And if he had asked me for my name while dazzling me like that, I knew I couldn't have answered.

Because I tended to forget it every so often when he stared me down. It was almost like being speared up and pinned to the wallpaper by a gaze alone.

He filled me with puzzlement, shame, breathlessness and anger all at the same time when he did that.

Although he did that to me - or maybe _because_ those eyes did - they creeped me out. Not just slightly, but a lot. I didn't want that stranger to look into my soul and then avert his eyes with that disgusted look on his face. I especially didn't appreciate the power he and his siblings seemed to have over me and other girls in school. I had seen the way the others looked at him as if he was a Hollywood star. He was much less approachable, though, and had this way of crushing my already close to non-existent ego under his foot without a second thought. Maybe he didn't even realize how hurtful his behavior during Biology lessons could be. I wasn't made of rock!

My heart sunk. Biology. The most dreaded and at the same time the most exciting hour of my schedule so far.

Because every day, I would hope he didn't really hate me that badly; that my imagination was over reactive. And when he so evidently did, it hurt even more. It cut into the core of me like a rusty knife to have a stranger hate and distrust me so deeply without an obvious reason. What had I done? Time and time again I wrecked my brain for a possible cause of his strange hatred. Of course, it wasn't just that. It was also because it was him who wrinkled his nose whenever I was close. Maybe I could have ignored the hatred of an unpopular and spiteful girl – I could almost hear my mother whispering 'She's just jealous, honey'- but it was more difficult with an otherwise polite and handsome boy.

At least I had found some allies in this unfamiliar town that used to be my home years and years ago. Angela and Jessica had been a great help in adjusting to small-town life and a few of the boys were really great. Maybe my time here wouldn't be so bad. I just wanted to know what I had done to deserve his hatred.

There was no way to find that out now, so there was only one thing to do: To forget him and his stupid staring for now. It's not like I could change him, only try to talk some sense into him. Maybe I would, but for now I had to forget him and sleep.

And in the end I did. I noticed my train of thoughts becoming more and more jumbled, but they never left the one who had so suddenly changed my life without ever doing anything but giving me the evil eyes. He had turned me from boring Bella to the-new-girl-he-hates-with-a-passion-just-because-she-exists.

When I was harshly awakened by my alarm clock the next morning, I came to a startling revelation: Maybe Edward's curious behavior was because he liked me? Didn't they always say that a boy would try to pick on and intimidate the girl he liked? I would just take this reason as an explication for now and forgo being intimidated by him this way.

I shuddered. There was nothing I could use less at the moment than a bronze-haired, popular and staring stalker at my heels trying to catch my affections along with Mike Newton. I had always assumed that small-town life was idyllic, but this was far from it. To complicate matters further, I was working in the little grocery store that Mike's mother owned and had to face him not only in school, but during work as well.

Maybe my old childhood friends would make me feel better. But somehow I feared that Jacob and his sisters along with the whole reservation over in La Push (they were Native Americans) would not make me feel any more wanted after I simply abandoned them all those years ago. Stopping to visit had been a bad idea and would make a lot of things with them awkward for a while. I hadn't even seen any of them yet.

I was also going to have to sit next to an insufferable hater (who might possibly like me) all year with no rescue in sight.

It was before eight o'clock and I was already in a bad mood.

Ouch!

Great. Now I had somehow managed to hit my toe on the bedpost.

'Hello, clumsy old self! I missed you already', I grimly thought to myself and stumbled on into the bathroom.

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**I AM CURRENTLY EDITING THIS STORY AND ADDING TO THE CHAPTERS. Please tell me what you think- a review is what makes a writer happy- and faster ;-)**


	2. No Answers At Hand

Disclaimer: I own an English dictionary, but certainly not sparkly vampires or wolves.

Chapter 2: No Answers at Hand

**Edward's point of view**

* * *

I never meant to even meet her. She was the one who came here and disturbed my peace. And my peacefulness, too.

Never before had I felt such a violent need to kill anyone, to bite, bite, bite and drain her. When she walked into that room, it took all I had to leave her alive, to leave all of those poor witnesses live.

Why did she even have to show up? Why her? She was nothing special, for all I knew.

Her father lives here, of course. I had heard the rumors about a new girl being at high school from everyone. Well, not technically hearing them tell me, but rather their buzzing thoughts. They were so stupid and primitive, they jumped at every rumor, any news at all. What in the world did they have a brain for?

I didn't even want to meet her. She was just some poor girl at the center of attention and was probably stupid as the rest of them were.

Time would prove me wrong, though.

Over the decades I thought that human blood had lost its appealing smell to me, that I was somehow different from all the other vampires.

I had been proven wrong. Again. _Soulless monster!_ I hissed at myself under my breath. Not even music could calm me down now. I was so beaten up by my thoughts, so miserable, that it failed to have the usual calming effect on me.

In order to calm myself any other way, I tried to be rational. _You've met your singer, so it is perfectly normal that her blood is very appealing to you, _I thought to myself.

Maybe it would be the easiest to just get it over with, to give in. The thought of having her blood on my hands, running down my throat, was all it took to detach from reality. A red haze began to cover my vision.

I was hovering over her, her eyes full of terror at my bared teeth. Venom dripped from them and filled my mouth. So mouthwatering! Bite her, drain her! I willingly gave in to the urge, grabbed her throat and sank my teeth through her skin. It was pale from fear, her heart throbbing. This made me even thirstier. I moaned as I hit her artery and drained her until nothing was left. SO GOOOD! All the while she kept screaming, but her cries were soon ended into a gurgling whimper.

Restraining arms brought me back into reality. _Alice, of course._ She had probably just seen me murder, seen me drink that delicious, hot blood out of her pale neck.

"_Edward? It's okay_," Alice soothingly thought. My eyes snapped back into focus as Jasper send a wave of calm into me.

Hate and terror washed over me when I realized what I had just been thinking about. Not only thinking, but planning, I realized as I looked around myself. I had unconsciously drifted as far as the driveway until my sister had been able to stop me. _Oh, no!_

I didn't want to talk about my murderous train of thought with them, I didn't want to hear their thoughts, their pity. For how could they understand if even I couldn't deal with this myself. I nodded to Alice and ran to my room with inhuman speed. _Monster!_

Why couldn't she go back to where she came from? I didn't want anyone to influence my instincts and therefore my life this way. And she was doing it effortlessly, without knowledge of her deeds by merely existing.

But it was not only this strange longing for her blood that unsettled me. It was having to face the consequences of my desire for the red liquid inside of a fragile human girl once again.

My determination had not been shaken for almost a hundred years, but all solutions to this problem were unbearable.

Kill her? _Like I'd be able to live with my conscience!_ I sneered at myself.

Leave? _And start with High School all over? Leaving meant making my family suffer for my weakness._

Live with it? _It would be hell. But I had to, didn't I?_

What was even more unsettling was the strange curiosity I felt regarding her personality. Why on earth couldn't I read her mind? She wasn't like a riddle that could be cracked by thinking about it. More than anything I wanted to know what she was thinking. It would help to protect her from me. I hated not knowing what was going on around me and in this case it made it even harder to resist because I wouldn't hear her thoughts when killing her.

Okay, so it frustrated me to be clueless. She was so fascinatingly different from anyone I had ever known or heard of. First of all, when I had given her the death-glare in the cafeteria, she had been frightened. But then, in Biology, she tried to talk to me. And had been really hurt when I didn't interact with her properly.

I wanted to know more about her with every second that passed by. Not knowing her secret frustrated me. It infuriated me. Who was she to turn me into a monster and not reveal anything about herself?

I'd talk to her. I'd find out.

_Don't be ridiculous! _I almost shouted in my head. This was getting me nowhere but closer to her imminent death.

Right then I would have given everything positive about my vampire-life away just to be able to sleep and forget about her and all the worries she had brought.

Immortality. Speed. Beauty. What did it matter if I was damned and not even able to rest just once? To forget? If these few advantages meant that I would be a monster until the day I died? And only hell awaited me thereafter?

It didn't matter at all.

* * *

**Thanks for all the reviews and alerts! I'll try to update soon.**

**Do you prefer any point of view? I think I enjoyed writing in Jacob's or Bella's the most, but if you like Edward better, I can give you his. **

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	3. Not Done Yet

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, adding me to favorites or alerts! It really encourages me to keep going. Without you, this story wouldn't have come to exist so far into the action! **

Disclaimer: Yet again, I only borrowed Twilight characters.

Chapter 3: Not Done Yet Bella's point of view

* * *

That day I left the school fuming with anger. What in the world was up with Cullen? It was really great that he finally talked to me, but it didn't help the least bit to answer any of the questions I had for him. On the contrary, I had more of them buzzing around in my head.

All of the questions that he had asked me! As if he were interested in my pathetic excuse of a life that I have here. I hadn't gotten around to asking him anything. It was as though he didn't want to reveal anything about himself.

He kept evading I asked him a simple thing about his family or background, he pulled away and kept on shooting questions at me. It was nice to talk to him, because he was a good listener, don't get me wrong.

But still. I wanted to know what his secret was.

There was definitely something up with him. Maybe even with his whole family. I'd had enough time to come up with too many theories as to why they were so different from the other students.

They never ate at school. They kept to themselves. They were all pale and beautiful. They lived together as a family, but _dated_ each other. I know, you can't stop your feelings. But it was just plain _weird_. Honestly.

What bothered me most was the hateful way that Edward had looked at me that first day at lunch. The way he had kept himself away from me in Biology. Now he talked to me, but did that mean that he didn't hate me?

No.

Yet another riddle crossed my mind. Why had he known my name? He claimed he had heard it from Mike. Bella, not Isabella. He had been the first and only one to call me that when first meeting me.

Mike of all people was the most reluctant one to call me by my nickname. It was all rather strange. And if I had noticed these things about Edward without even trying why hadn't the others done the same? Maybe they were just tired of his inexplicable behavior.

As if _they_ would ever talk to someone like Mike. Like me. Somehow, I didn't believe him. And what confused me most was the disgusted look on his face when he said "Mike Newton". I didn't realize that they even knew each other. I mean, I had been surprised about Mike's reaction when I had asked him about the Cullens earlier. But I hadn't figured that they apparently had some rivalry thing going on. So I dropped the subject, answered his questions as well as I could and waited for the right moment to ask my own.

I knew that I had only one chance to ask him, because any other personal question as an introduction would have made him stop. I had to get all my hurt, my questions, my curiosity to him in one simple sentence.

Yet it was very hard to ask. "Why do you hate me so much?" I blurted out. _Please answer!_

I was taken by surprise when he answered "Bella, I do not hate you." But why did he treat me this way, then? _Why?_

Just when I was about to ask him about his behavior and the odd reasons he might have for it, he turned around fully to look at me.

It was as though Edward had unleashed a hurricane inside of me. His eyes had a beautiful topaz color and seemed to smolder at me. My heart missed a beat, I stopped breathing and blushed. It wasn't fair at all that he had this power over me. The power to capture me, to make me forget my anger and worries. I even felt a little dizzy all because of his eyes. I was angry at him, darn it!

The power of his eyes scared me. Obviously there was something off with them, something I couldn't place in words. Were the others the same?

It was very unsettling altogether. Just as I felt chills crawl up my back, the bell rang and he pulled away with an almost inaudible sigh.

"Someday, I'll explain," he simply added and left me behind with my increasing number of questions.

Whatever he did to me wasn't healthy. He pretended to open himself in a conversation, then just rushed out on me the next moment. Which left me to my scrambled thoughts. Whenever I thought about him, there were strong feelings. Fear, worry, anger, curiosity…

And never did he do anything to untangle my thoughts or feelings, but left me to more confusion.

He was arrogant in an unbecoming way.

_That is what he is. He thinks that he is better than me, that I have no right whatsoever to know about his life, his reasons for hating me or for talking to me today_.

He obviously didn't want me to know the truth. That's why he rushed out. Maybe he was even dazzling me on purpose, which brought me back to my theory from three days ago. Could that really be it? That he liked me in a twisted way without even having talked to me?

Who knew what he was feeling about me? Mostly, he would just glare at me. But then again, he had been really curious about my life. How could he care about someone he had glared at a week before?

He just made no sense to me. And he was definitely arrogant. Edward seemed to think that he was the one to decide everything. Whether he ignored me or talked to me, whether he would ask me questions or answer them. Now he wanted to be the one to decide upon the time he would _explain_ to me.

I had a feeling that he wasn't planning on ever answering some of my questions. He was too good at being evasive for that to happen.

But I wasn't done with Edward Cullen yet. I would get him to talk to me. There was a strong need for answers in me, a need that grew stronger by the minute.

As I stomped out of the building, my fury resolved to determination. Whoever he was, he had no right to treat me this way.

* * *

Sorry that this has taken so long to write. I haven't been at home most of the Easter holidays. I wanted to spend quality time with my family, not alone at my computer.

But now I'm back! Please let me know what you think or add me to your story alerts. That way you'll know when I update!


	4. A Pang of Jealousy

**Thank you so much for the reviews I've already had! I'll try replying to all of them as soon as I can.**

**As you might've been able to see already, I'm not exactly following the original story chronologically. I'd rather write a story of its own with "borrowed" characters. **

**Disclaimer: Yet again, Twilight is not mine.**

**Chapter 4: A Pang of Jealousy**

**Edward's point of view**

* * *

_You did it! _I thought to myself as I lay on my bed.

It took some getting used to, but I managed not to kill her.

Yet every time I saw her and could once again not penetrate her mind, I became more curious about the things she was thinking. About me. My behavior. The world in general.

It drove me insane.

That was one of the reasons I had finally talked to her. One of the reasons, at least. I have to admit that I mainly did it because I couldn't stand the pain I was inflicting on her anymore.

Yes, pain. It was obvious whenever she saw me. Her curiosity, the stares. She probably thought that I hated her. Maybe it was better this way and would make her keep her distance.

Well, I did, in a way, for making me feel like the monster I had really been all the time. But it wasn't her fault that I was soulless and animalistic. And I liked watching her, I liked her personality.

First of all, she didn't seem to want to be here. But she was still coming to school every day with a smile on her face, never complaining. Then again, the way she would chatter happily when really feeling sad on the inside. She was such a social and loving creature!

And her face (Yes. I know this sounds pathetic). Her face was interesting and held an elegant beauty. It was like an open book to me. Surprisingly, I knew how she felt the very instant I got to glance at her eyes without knowing her thoughts.

Chocolate brown gates to her soul. She definitely had a beautiful soul. I could tell that without ever having talked to her.

_Ugh, you sound like a crazy stalker!_

So? I had to ensure that she is safe. So I finally talked to her.

And in this short conversation she awed me even more.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o-Flashback-0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Sorry that I haven't properly introduced myself yet. My name is Edward. You must be Bella?" I offered.

She looked at me with a confused expression.

Crap. I had given myself away. Of course I shouldn't know that she preferred being called that. The minds of the others just rubbed off on me. I couldn't ignore their constant buzz of thoughts, like I couldn't ignore knowledge.

"I have heard Mike Newton call you Bella" _Not the smartest move. _I involuntarily grimaced. He had been all over her for the past few days. But not because of HER but because she was new and therefore exciting. Bah. That was so disgusting. High school was disgusting, but what I didn't do to attempt living a seemingly normal life.

It was just the hint of a grimace, but she saw it nevertheless. Which astonished me. What else had she noticed about us?

The minutes went by in a blur as I talked to her. Only the content of our conversation stayed in my mind.

She was here so her mother could be with her new husband. She sacrificed her own well-being for the happiness of others. Which supported my earlier theory of her being a caring and selfless person. Although I could not read her mind, this conversation told me one simple thing: Bella was good. A good person. Someone whose company was enjoyable. And, most importantly, someone who was not food and who I just couldn't kill.

For the first time since I had first met her, since that dreaded day in the cafeteria, my thirst was in the back of my mind. I was content. I was happy with just being and talking to her.

I was pulled out of my thoughtfulness by her sudden question. "Why do you hate me so much?" I was taken by surprise. "Bella, I do not hate you." I looked into her eyes, for I knew my eyes' effect on humans.

I was not disappointed. She stopped breathing, her eyes widened and her cheeks filled with color. This effect was somewhat a boost for my ego. And interestingly, this boost was intensified by the fact that it was her who blushed. It also made me want to kill her a little bit.

Our non-verbal exchange was interrupted by the sound of the school's rusty bell. "Someday, I'll explain," I added and left the room before I did something that I would severely regret.

She called something after me in an angry tone of voice. It sounded like "Why can't we just get it over with now?", but I hesitated only briefly. There was just no way that I could have stayed any longer in that room. Too many thoughts were chasing each other through my mind and the heads of the other students. And while I was usually able to think about many things at once, this time it was just too much.

I sat down in my car (I had come by myself this morning, to think) and let myself argue with my consciousness.

You shouldn't have said that. You meant to talk to her, make everything alright and then stop minding!

But how could I? With every question of mine she had answered, ten new ones had popped into existence and into my mind.

My thoughtfulness was interrupted when Bella exited the building with a very angry look on her face. Angry or sad. I was just about to run over to her and apologize, when I saw him.

One of those furry-haired idiots from the reservation… Anyways, a tall native guy talking to her. At closer inspection I saw that he was Billy Black's son Jacob.

When I saw the smile of recognition spread on her face, I felt a strange hurt in my chest. Like something had been taken away from me.

Maybe it was protectiveness.

Their familiarity hurt. Her smile, her easiness with him. And most of all, the happy look she gave him as she looked back at him over her shoulder.

That stupid mongrel just stood there with a huge smile on his face. Only the trail of saliva was missing to complete the picture. A drooling puppy.

Angrily I turned the ignition and sped homewards.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o-Flashback-0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I didn't want to admit it, but I still felt a definite pang of jealousy.

But how could I possibly protect her if I was the one who was putting her in the greatest danger of all?

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This was another insight into Edward's mind, now it's time for Bella's once again. Please keep reviewing, it motivates me so much!


	5. Dazzled By Her Smile

**Chapter 5: Dazzled By Her Smile **

**Jacob's point of view**

* * *

"I'm heading to the grocery store, dad. You need anything?"

"You could bring some sausages for our little beach party tomorrow, son," Billy responded.

Oh, well. So I would actually have to go to the store. I didn't know what the secrecy was for, but somehow I didn't want my dad to know where I was really heading. To hang around Forks High School. I definitely needed an excuse if I really met her, so I might as well give my father the same excuse for leaving. If I had actually told him where I was heading, he'd have given me his "really, son?" face and probably would have told me to just visit her at home. Yeah… As though that was going to happen. I was way too much of a chicken for that. Well, if it came to her, I was a chicken. Not that I usually got scared easily, but we had history.

I gave myself a last check in the mirror before I rushed to the door and into my Rabbit. Looking presentable was the least I could do.

* * *

There it was: Forks high school, right in front of me. The drive had gone by in a blur of uncertainties while I had tried to figure out what I would say if I saw her. "Hey, you're back in town. Cool, I didn't know that!" That was way too… nonchalantly. Something that revealed how much I really cared about her being here and that didn't sound pathetic enough to scare my former best friend away.

I got out of my car just as the bell started ringing. Suddenly, I was wide awake, my adrenaline-spiked blood pulsing through my veins much too quickly. I could hear my own heart beating painfully against my ribs. I had to keep it cool and I couldn't mess this up if I wanted her to open up to all of us again.

And there she was, leaving the building alone. Perfect for my purposes, I had planned on talking to her in private. She looked so grown up all of a sudden. I had remembered her as the little girl she was when I last saw her, but now she was taller with more defined features and surprisingly beautiful. She looked around self-consciously and I did a double-take. It had always been her who got the two of us into trouble by being a confident rule-breaker! My heart ached for me to run over there and tell her how much exactly I had missed her and how much she seemed a different person. Would it be the same now as it used to be? I had changed a lot too- I didn't think we would marry and move into my dad's old shack for gardening tools any more.

I couldn't run up to her and hug her like a long-lost friend because we had become strangers. I just couldn't. Self-consciously I walked over to her, as if crossing her path by accident.

"Hey, Bella!" She turned her head and looked around. That's when I saw the hurt in her eyes. "Bella?" I asked carefully. Finally, she saw me and her mouth formed a little 'oh', her expression clearing to one of absolute confusion. She stopped herself from saying it, but it was clearly there. I grinned at her and chuckled under my breath at her expression. This much hadn't changed at least.

"Everything okay?" I asked her. "Remember me?" Please, don't say that you forgot about me. Please tell me that you've missed me. "I was just around the block to get some groceries, so I thought I'd stop by to see you. Billy told me you where back in town for a while…" I finished off, making it sound like a question.

Her face lit up at that. "Sure. I remember you, Jacob. And yeah, I'll be staying for _a while_. I'll be graduating here and I think I will even stay in the area for college. How have you been? I haven't seen you in ages, Jake!" She looked a little guilty when she finished speaking.

Excitement spread through my body. She was back for real and she was obviously willing to make up for the past. When she said my name like that, it made my head spin as the past came rushing back. "Cool! I've been doing this and that, but I haven't been this happy to see someone in a long time." This had escaped my mouth before I was able to stop myself.

She tried to hide a smirk at my over-eagerness and self-consciously tugged a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looked up at me. She looked so adorable when she did that.

That was the moment I started wondering since when I thought that Bella Swan was adorable. If things went further down this road I was in deep trouble- had I really not learned my lesson with my last puppy-crush on her?

"It's good to know someone here. The people in school," she stopped there and looked around as if to check that no one was listening to her "they seem to think that I'm some kind of attraction in an amusement park. I mean, they all stare at me just because I'm existing. And the worst thing is, they all know my name. 'You must be Isabella,'" she imitated with such a cute angry look on her face that I just had to laugh with her. All the while my heart seemed to swell from just listening to her. I had my best friend back!

This moment was when I decided that I would make her comfortable here. I wanted her to be happy and content and laughing because of me.

"If you want some change, Bells: We're having a beach party tomorrow. If you want to hang out…" I let the sentence linger in the air and hoped that she would take the bait.

"Great, I'll be there." Awesome!

"Are some of your friends going to be there?" "Sure, sure, pretty much all of the La Push people," I answered, falling back into the habit. The 'sure, sure'-thing had been my signature move throughout the years.

I'd rather be alone with you. "So I'll be seeing you tomorrow, great!" I said instead.

"It was nice to see you again, Jake. You might have made my day" she said and walked away with a smile on her face. I watched her with radiant joy. This was the closest I had been to giddy in years. I felt like dancing, or singing out loud.

Suddenly, she glanced back at me over her shoulder, turned around. "When?" she laughed.

"Five, First Beach," was all I was able to breathe out, overwhelmed by the dazzling look she gave me. Laughing again, she turned back around and continued on her way to her old truck.

When I had recovered, there was a definite spring in my step as I was heading for my car. Man, had she grown up. Was it just me or did she have everyone wrapped around her little finger?

On the way home, when I was almost back to La Push, I remembered that I still had to get those sausages for dad. I quietly laughed to myself and u-turned back to Forks.

I just couldn't wait until tomorrow.

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**Finally we heard from Jacob! What do you think about him?**


	6. Past Meets Present

**I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow, but I thought I'd better post it earlier than longer! I started posted longer chapters, they all have at least 1,000 words now.**

**Disclaimer: You know and Stephenie Meyer should know the moment she checks her bank account: She owns Twilight.**

Chapter 6: Past meets PresentBPOV

"Hey, Bella!" a husky voice pulled me out of my thoughtfulness. My thoughts had absorbed me so completely that I hadn't quiet looked around me. So I paused to take in my surroundings and was surprised when I couldn't immediately identify the speaker.

There weren't many people that I had gotten to know yet and only the people I knew were calling me anything but Isabella. And I had been quite positive that I would recognize their voices. It was a dark, male voice that I didn't know. It wasn't Mike's, Ben's or Eric's. And definitely not Edward's. It was too hoarse for that. Not that it was a hoarse voice, but Edward was just flawless. And never nearly as nervous as the voice implied the unknown guy to be.

"Bella?" That is when I saw him: Tall, lanky, tanned would be the easiest description. As my eyes zoomed in on his concerned face I recognized him. It had to be Jacob Black, Billy's son. He had fixed up my truck for me. I felt gratitude wash through me.

He had changed since the last time I had seen him, his frame had stretched and he had filled out. His silky black hair was tied back in a ponytail and his face wore a worried and caring expression. His skin was slightly flushed underneath the russet color, as if he had been running.

"Everything okay?" he asked me with emotion in his voice. Crap, my face gave me away so easily. I nodded encouragingly, not really wanting to talk about the things I had on my mind right now.

"Remember me?" Of course I remembered Jacob. How could I not? Again, worry was apparent on his face. I caught myself smiling at his unnecessary fear.

I had spent most of my summer holidays with his twin sisters Rachel and Rebecca. They are both older than me, but their father Billy is one of the closest friends of Charlie, so they figured we'd be friends, which we actually grew to be. Jacob had been around most of the time, but we had never been close. After all, he had always been my friends' little brother.

I tried to think of how old he was right now. Younger than me, anyways… From what I knew, he must have been 15.

His question startled me. Suddenly I realized that he shouldn't be at our High School. Jacob was one of the Quileutes, a Native from La Push. La Push is a reservation very close to Forks, but they have their own High School despite the small population. What was he doing here, at Forks high school at this time of day? Shouldn't he be at school?

My pause must have unsettled him, because the next few sentences were said a bit too nonchalantly. Maybe he had read my face, too. Usually, it was annoying the heck out of me because I felt as if everyone was able to read my thoughts. But this time, my apparent confusion saved me some explaining and asking the right questions.

"I was just around the block to get some groceries, so I thought I'd stop by to see you. Billy told me you where back in town for a while…" He let the sentence hang in the air like a question. I finally answered all of his questions at once and told him I would stay at least a year.

His face lit up at my words. He had always been smiley and easy to be around, but I couldn't recall him being such a happy person. I smiled back at him, but then remembered to hide it. He might have taken it as mocking, though I enjoyed that he cared for _me_. _Not just for the new girl._

I really had to talk to someone about a few things that were on my mind, so I started dumping all of my lesser worries on him. Cullen I left out, but mentioned all the rude stares, the embarrassment and the whole "Isabella"- issue. Jacob laughed his hearty laugh at that. He wasn't called _Isabella_, after all! But I involuntarily had to laugh with him. In a way, their behavior was just ridiculous.

Somehow it was funny that two people as shy as the two of us could have such a pleasant conversation. He seemed to be happy to just be and didn't glare at me or ask invasive questions. _He is so different from Cullen._

So, when he asked me to come to a beach party at La Push with him, I gladly agreed. It would be some change and he was fun to be around.

Funny that I happened to discover this aspect of _the twins' little brother _only after they left. They were probably off to college right now, but I wasn't sure. Otherwise, they surely would've stopped by to come and see me when Billy came over the other day to take Charlie fishing.

"Are some of your friends gonna be there?" I asked him to keep the conversation going. "Sure, sure, pretty much all of the La Push people." _Sure, sure._ _No one else ever seems to say that…_

"So I'll be seeing you tomorrow, great!" He couldn't hide the excitement in his voice, but I was looking forward to the party, too.

"It was nice to see you again," I said as I left.

Suddenly I remembered that I didn't even know when and where the party would take place. I had been so wrapped up in the talking! As I turned around to ask, Jacob was practically bouncing with joy.

Could my simple "I'll be there" really have made him that happy? It must have.

"Five, First Beach," he called after me. I whirled around again and left Jacob to his amazement. I couldn't help but smiling when I realized that he liked me for who I was.

_Maybe I should ask him to turn up like that more often._

…………………

**This was another chapter to set up the story, the next one will be about the beach party! Please stay with me, you guys (or more probably gals) are awesome!**

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	7. Breathing in Waves and Moonlight

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight are not mine.**

Chapter 7: Breathing in Waves and MoonlightBPOV

When I got home, I finally started on writing my English essay, which I had been postponing for the past few days. We were to write about the future, our own future, to be precise. This was a delicate issue for me because I had, frankly stated, no idea what I'd do once I was done with school. So I scrambled together a few vague sentences about going to college and building a house, knowing it would be awkward if anyone asked me about it.

I had no great master-plan, but the essay had gotten me to think about the things _I _really wanted for _myself_.

Renee had wanted me to be with her, to go to college and earn a living. She didn't want me to make her mistakes, but most of all, she wanted me to be happy.

Charlie wanted the same. He, on the other hand, would probably like it better if I didn't date until college. I hadn't minded much in the past. But would it always be like this? _Probably. You're just not the type for dating, _I answered for myself.

What did _I_ want, indeed?

Sighing, I put the much too short essay aside and went to do some laundry. I hadn't done a lot of chores in the past few days, so there was a lot to do. I had been to absorbed by my own little world of worries to worry about chores.

When I was finally done with all the washing, drying and putting away of the laundry, I changed, went to bed and at once fell into a dreamless sleep that lasted until the late morning hours. I hadn't slept that long since getting over my jetlag when I decided to live with Charlie.

I was surprised that Charlie had let me sleep this long, but soon discovered the reason for the abnormal silence in the house. He had, like on every other Saturday, gone fishing with Billy and left before the sun was up. Right now, it was already above the treetops of the nearby forest.

I hadn't noticed until now, but the sun was actually visible. It would be a great day, the right weather for a beach party. Only then did I notice that I had really missed the warmth of the sun on my face. The past weeks had been too green for my liking… No warm auburn tones, no red or brown. Even the tree trunks were green here!

And if it wasn't green, it'd be gray from the rain. The sun even intensified the pronounced greenish shine around everything out there, but it made me happy.

Walking towards the kitchen table I changed plans, grabbed a blanket and headed outside, where I sat down on our freshly mowed lawn. The light breeze around me smelled fresh and intoxicatingly like freesias. While I slowly ate my cereals on the blanket, I watched as the wind twirled through the grass and made the flowers and grass dance. I could almost hear the strange melody they moved to in the gentle breeze.

When I was done with breakfast, I put the empty bowl aside and laid back to watch the sky. It was a glorious blue that was seldom interrupted by peacefully drifting white clouds. They reminded me of grazing sheep. Only a shepherd was missing to complete the picture.

The sky didn't stretch endlessly as it had in Phoenix, but still I felt at home. Slowly, I dozed off into a content dream about sheep on a lush green meadow. The sweet smell, the pleasant warmth on my face, the birds singing: They all made me feel truly happy for the first time since I had come to Forks. It had been a good choice to stay with Charlie.

……………

With a startle I awoke as an engine roared into our driveway. Charlie must have come home early from his fishing trip.

As he closed the door of the truck (he sometimes took my truck because it fit the outdoor experience more closely than his police cruiser), he called over to me.

"Hey Bells, how long have you been outside? It's already past three, I don't want you to get a sunburn!"

I hadn't realized it was already this late, so I got up, gathered my things together and went inside with him. "I've probably been outside for too long. I'll be in La Push this evening, you know that, right?" Charlie just grinned at me, as if I had missed an obvious joke he was enjoying. When he took in my confused face, he merely chuckled and went to put the fish in the freezer.

"Did you catch a lot?" "Sure." "Em… I'll just grab a sandwich. If you need me… Well, I'll be in my room."

Smalltalk was always awkward with Charlie. He was more a father for the quiet moments. I could just _be_ with him and enjoy his company.

Up in my room I tried to decide on what to wear. Nothing too elegant, it was a beach party, after all. But definitely not just a boring shirt I wore to school every day.

Finally, I settled on my favorite casual blouse and a pair of faded jeans. They wouldn't be a problem in the bright sand of First Beach. I put on some sunscreen, too, since I would be at the beach and in the sun again. I didn't want to risk looking red like a cherry the next day after falling asleep in the sunny lawn.

Before I left, I made dinner ready for Charlie. How had he survived without me? _Pizza service. _Yeah, right. I had forgotten about that.

I chuckled to myself and remembered to grab my sweater before I left. If the party was going to take a while (which I expected), I would probably be shivering by the time the sun was down.

The drive to La Push went faster than I had expected, so no one was at the beach yet when I arrived. I went down to the shore and sat down on one of the flat, smooth rocks that extended into the sea. The sound of the waves breaking on the rocks calmed me down. For a minute only me and the waves existed, until a familiar voice spoke quite close to me.

"Hey Bella!" I flinched a little because I hadn't expected anyone to be around. The waves had drowned out his quiet approach.

After I had recovered, I greeted him with a smile. "Jake! I was a little early because I overestimated the drive. I guess I haven't been here in a while, huh?"

"It's been over a year now, I think. Beautiful, isn't it?" He nodded at the rough sea as he sat down beside me. Although it was really warm from the precious rays of sun, the breeze had picked up and I shivered a little in my thin blouse. I had left the sweater in the sand next to the rocks and wasn't in the mood for leaving, so I just hugged my knees tighter.

"Are you cold, Bells? You should've brought a sweater, it'll be chillier when the sun sets," Jacob said. I couldn't recall him calling me anything but Bella before, but I liked it. "Here, take my jacket," he added, shrugged out of his sleeves and handed it to me.

"Aw, Jacob, that is so sweet of you. But I actually brought a sweater, so I won't be needing it. It's somewhere down there. I pointed in the general direction where I had left it earlier. As I looked over my shoulder, I noticed people beginning to fill in.

"Are Rachel or Rebecca going to join us?" I asked, only to stop myself and correct my mistake. "How stupid of my, they're going to college, right?"

This was the only signal he needed to start a wonderful conversation. In its course he filled me in on his recent family history.

Rebecca had moved to Hawaii and fallen in love with a surfer. "It's kind of a stereotype, right?" he laughed at me. "But I'm happy for her," he added. Apparently, Rachel was going to college at Washington State and returned home from time to time. "She isn't here as often as she could, though," he explained with sadness in his voice.

Jacob was so easy to talk to, I never got bored. From time to time, he would crack a joke and then laugh his winning laugh with me. I didn't even notice the time passing by rapidly until Jacob sniffed the air and cried out "Time for dinner! I can't believe that I didn't notice the grilling earlier. They might not have left you anything!" he mocked with false desperation.

Apparently, they had. The sausages were delicious, really juicy and fresh. "Good, hm?" he asked me and I nodded in agreement since my mouth was full. I was amazed by how much food Jacob could wolf down. Well, he was a guy and still growing, after all, so I guessed that it was normal.

As I took another bite of my sausage, I noticed a guy watching me. I had caught him glancing at Jacob and I earlier. Quickly I turned away and elbowed Jacob playfully. Conspiratorially I whispered to him "Who's that guy over there? He's been staring at us for some time."

Jacob turned around, gave him an angry stare, mouthed something like "Back off" and explained to me. "That's Quil, a friend of mine. He probably doesn't know who you are and wonders why I'm hanging around with you." This seemed reasonable enough, but still his stares made me wonder what he had been wondering about.

What was so special about me to make him stare?

_You're not from the rez._ That would be it.

Jacob made me forget those thoughts pretty quickly as the rest of the evening went by in a blur. I briefly chatted with Billy, who was sitting on a grass patch alongside the beach, but then the two of us left him to sit on the rocks again. We talked all night until most of the other guests had left.

I helped Jacob clean up and carry the things to the Rabbit, since Billy couldn't come down onto the beach in his wheelchair. He would've gotten himself stuck in the process.

Technically, Jacob wasn't allowed to drive. But since it was the rez and Billy couldn't get around without him, everyone just tolerated it.

It was already past ten when I climbed back into my truck. I had spent five hours with Jacob, but it had seemed much shorter than that. "Thanks Jake, I really enjoyed myself. I don't think I've had this much fun around Forks yet."

"I'll see you again, right?" he asked me in a troubled voice. "Of course," I reassured him, smiling.

"It was really great to see you, Bells…" It looked as though he wanted to add something, but then he thought it over and just closed my truck's door for me.

"See ya around!" he called after me, grinning hugely as my truck came to life with a roar. I backed out, waved him a goodbye and left. When I looked into the rear mirror at the next curve, he was still standing there in the moonlight.

…………………

**This was my longest chapter yet, I hope that the party didn't disappoint you. I'm planning on adding a little suspense to it ;-)) Hopefully, I'll be able to keep my writing pace up, but I don't think so… My final exams are ahead the next two weeks.**

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	8. Mrs Road Tanker

**Something really weird has been happening with the last chapter. I have received lots of reviews (Thanks a lot!), but my traffic page claimed that no one had read my story. I don't know what's up with that, but I asked the support team to help me.**

**Disclaimer: I own only what my mind has come up with, not the Twilight characters.**

Chapter 8: Mrs. Road TankerBPOV

When I came home from La Push, Charlie was still up. I silently groaned and tried to sneak past him to my room. I definitely wasn't in the mood for being questioned.

But apparently he had been waiting for me because I couldn't even tip-toe halfway to the stairs when he spotted me. "Hey Bells, how's it been?"

"Good," I answered halfheartedly.

"I'm going to bed." Usually that would shake him off. But this time he seemed to be very curious. "Jake is a nice guy, huh? I'm glad that you finally found a friend here. I don't want my only daughter to be lonely. After all, I think I own you a pleasant stay. And I really like seeing you happy. Maybe you should see him more often…"

Charlie was obviously having one of his rare sentimental moments. He hadn't spoken that much since two years ago, when I had broken my leg trying to climb up a tree. I should've known better than to climb a tree, but I kind of had a thing for getting myself on the edge of death of at least into the hospital every other year. So far, this year had passed without a major incident. Hopefully, I would be able to keep it up.

"Don't worry, dad. I really like staying with you and I already found some friends at high school. You know Jessica Stanley or Mike Newton? I ate lunch with them the past few days and they're really nice. I might be hanging out with them a lot. You know that I love you and that I came here on my own account." With that, I left to my room, knowing that staying longer in the living room would've caused an awkward silence. Charlie and me weren't the people to talk about our feelings all that often and when we did so, neither one of us felt comfortable.

And I definitely wasn't in the mood for his one day obligatory lecture on dating. He seemed to see a date in every boy that I happened to mention around him.

On the one hand, he wanted me to end up with a nice guy and probably kids, but on the other hand he didn't want it too happen all too soon. Maybe in college. Or much rather, afterwards. _Sometimes he is so much a stereotypical dad_, I thought to myself and opened the bathroom door.

After the long day I fell asleep very quickly. Just before I dozed off, I thought I heard waves washing over the shore. Although that was an impossible thing to hear, it calmed me and carried me into a dreamless sleep.

…………….

When my alarm clock rang the next morning, I turned it off, rewrapped myself in the blanket and fell asleep again.

Half an hour later, I awoke with a startle. Now I really had to hurry. I quickly showered, tossed on a shirt and jeans, grabbed a sandwich from the fridge and left. Charlie had already left for work, his police cruiser was gone.

This was already the second time that I had slept in late this week and I was beginning to wonder why exactly that was.

……………

I was in a really great mood when I got to school, although I was almost too late. I had really had a great weekend. My skin still felt warm from yesterday's sun. Today the sky had clouded over, though.

I realized that I didn't care about the weather as I pulled into the empty parking lot. I had probably had enough sun for the next few weeks. Silently, I chuckled to myself as a comparison to a road tanker sprang into my mind. Maybe I was able to stock up on sunlight just like my truck was on gas!

Suddenly, my heart stopped still. I was late and still there weren't any cars in the school's parking lot? Something was definitely odd here.

After parking my car in one of the many empty spaces I checked my truck's clock. 7:58. The parking lot should have been full and students everywhere. It wasn't until I walked up to the school's main entrance and realized that the doors were locked that I realized why there wasn't anyone present.

_It's a Sunday._

Charlie must have gone fishing, I realized. He had told me about that on Friday. And stupid me must have set the alarm clock last night when I was already halfway asleep.

Great.

Now that I was already in town, I might as well visit someone, I thought as I walked back to my truck. Sighing, I checked my cell phone for telephone numbers. Sadly, I only had Jessica's and I knew that she was in Port Angeles to visit her aunt.

Who else was there? I didn't know any phone numbers or addresses. _Jake!_

I knew for a fact where he and Billy lived, but I had no way of giving them a warning about me coming over. Charlie probably had their number scribbled down somewhere at home, but I didn't want to drive back and forth so much just to get a simple number.

I turned the ignition and made my decision as the truck stuttered to life. I would just drive to his house and see if he was there.

……………

When I pulled up at the Blacks' house, I was a little nervous. It just wasn't customary to knock at someone's door without an invitation or warning.

Especially since I had talked to him just twice. Well, I had talked to him before Friday, but more because he was related to someone I knew. And that was way different.

After a moment I had pulled together my nerves and gotten rid of the awkward feeling of being uninvited and walked up to the door.

Jacob lived in a small cottage with his father, but it didn't look small. It rather looked cute and a little out of proportion next to their huge garage. I wondered what they kept in there. Never had I dared to enter it, us girls had shied away from all the guy stuff in it.

Hesitantly, I rang the bell. No one answered.

Maybe they weren't at home. Billy was fishing and maybe Jake had decided to come with him and Charlie. I almost gave up, but decided to ring a second time. Possibly he just hadn't heard me.

"Come in!" a muffled voice called from within after my second 'ring'. I timidly did as he said and carefully closed the door behind me. As I waited for him to come out of wherever he was, I curiously took in my surroundings. So much had changed since I had been here last time. All the girl stuff had disappeared from the living room. There were also less shoes in the small hallway leading to it and the house smelled a little different.

It smelled of guy. _Dah, there's only guys here, smart alec._

After a few minutes I began to feel uncomfortable just standing in the living room of someone else's house. "Jake?"

I heard a rumble in the bathroom, then Jacob came out with wet hair. "Oh, it's you," he said, stopped dead in his track and blushed deeply. As I looked at him, I turned red, too. He wasn't exactly wearing a lot of clothes…

In fact, he only had a towel slung around his hips. After a moment of shock, he sprung back through the door and called "I'll be right out!"

After a moment, he came back out with a larger towel that covered up more of his russet skin and disappeared into his room.

Too bad. He wasn't one who had to hide his body… I hadn't ever noticed before.

Remembering what I had just seen, I blushed again. I was glad that he was in his room and couldn't see me like that. It just wasn't like I had seen a lot of half-naked boys recently. He had just taken my by surprise. That was all.

When Jacob came back out in shorts and a t-shirt, there was an awkward silence. Luckily, he broke it soon after. "Sorry for that, I just expected that it would be one of the guys."

"I figured," I smirked at him. Then I told him about the reason that I had come to visit him in the first place. We laughed together about my colossal stupidity.

"I never though that it would be so easy to confuse you, Bells. Apparently, all I have to do is throw a beach party and get my dad to take yours fishing in order to have you come by my house the next morning confusing time and date," he chuckled.

"Yeah, that's me. But don't tell Billy, I don't want my dad laughing at me when I get home."

"If you don't want that, I won't". His face turned serious again. "You just gotta tell me, okay?"

"I will," I assured him.

"Sure, sure." I smiled at his words. They seemed to be some kind of his signature move.

"What are you smiling at?" he asked me, noticing my mood. "Nothing," I grinned at him, "You wanna go outside?"

"Sure, though it's not as sunny as yesterday"

I sighed. "It's not like you can expect more than two days of sunshine a year around Forks."

"Do you miss the sun? I figured that it would be bothering you, Phoenix is one of the sunniest places in the states, right?" _I can't believe he remembers that!_

"Yeah, but right now it's okay. I just refueled." He furrowed his brow in confusion, so I told him about my road tanker-analogy, thinking he would consider it to be funny. I wasn't disappointed, his infectious laughter was in the air even before I finished my story.

"Right, Bells, you're so much like a road tanker. All big and heavy, with four tires and a few thousand gallons of gas inside. Right." His words really made me laugh and whenever I had collected myself enough to take a breath, he would top it by making tires' squeaking sounds and announcing "Here comes Bella!", which caused me to have another laughing fit.

"Stop it, Jake, I can't breathe," I was finally able to gasp out. "Only if you can escape me," he said with a mischievous smile and started a tickling attack. It was almost impossible to escape his torturing fingers _and_ I was very ticklish, but somehow I managed to get away from him and run to the door.

"Don't you think you can run away from me, Mrs. Road Tanker!" With that Jake ran after me, but I could tell he wasn't really trying all too hard to get me. He let me run almost all the way to the water before catching up with me. Foreseeing his next move, I just sat down on the sand myself and held my hands up giggling. "I surrender."

"Too bad." Jake smiled at me and then sat down next to me. "I don't think I've ever known someone as ticklish as you."

Suddenly, my cell phone started ringing. It was Charlie. "He doesn't know where I'm at," I told Jake and then answered it.

"Hey Dad, you're home already? I'm over at La Push, don't worry. There should be some sandwiches in the fridge, if you want some."

"Um, okay, Bells. I was just wondering where you were since you didn't leave a note. Didn't know that you were planning on visiting Jacob. You're with him, right?"

"What else would I be doing here, dad?" I sighed and then added, "See you in a bit, I'll be home for dinner." I just couldn't leave him to eat sandwiches once again.

"Bye Bells!"

I turned back around to face Jacob. He had a mocking smile on his face, which he tried to hide when he noticed me looking at him.

Apparently he couldn't keep the charade up for too long: He chuckled and told me "It's so funny to watch you talk to your dad. It's like either one of you knows what the other wants to ask and you answer the questions without hearing them. As if you two were able to read each others' thoughts!" He was right with that, most of the time it was best to answer all of Charlie's questions before he even got to ask them. Our communication was _very_ effective.

I grimaced. "Ugh, I definitely don't want Charlie reading my mind! If he knew what's going on in here," I tipped my temple, "he would probably send me to a brain hospital. And it would be quite embarrassing to have you dad know your every thought, don't you think?"

There were a lot of things I didn't want Charlie to know. For example the thoughts about Edward's behavior (I was instantly angry and confused as soon as I thought of his name) or the memory of Jacob in only a towel. Instantly, I blushed at the mental image.

Jake didn't seem to notice or otherwise politely ignored me turning beet-red. "I don't really want Billy to snoop in my brain, too. Just the thought of it. Someone knowing your every thought, it's creepy. Look, I'm even getting goose bumps." He held his arm over to me and really, there were goose bumps. I smiled at him.

………….

We spent the rest of the afternoon discussing the pros of knowing other peoples' thoughts and the cons of having other people read our minds, grabbing a few sandwiches to eat at the beach around three. Although it was cloudy, it was a nice day to be outside. Luckily, I had thought of bringing my jacket to school. Without it, it would have been freezing cold on the beach.

Like yesterday, the time went by very quickly and before I knew it, it was time to drive home and fix dinner for Charlie. I couldn't believe that I had left for school about 7 hours ago. It felt like much less time.

Before I left, we exchanged cell phone numbers, so I'd be able to warn him the next time should I spontaneously decide to visit him again.

As I drove home, I thought of the other good things about having his number. He wasn't going to our high school, after all, and now I had a way to arrange meeting him again, if I wanted that.

After dinner I kept thinking about the profits of mind-reading. I would be able to read Edward's mind. I wouldn't have to bother with waiting for him to maybe explain his strange behavior one day, if it ever pleased him to do so. I'd know why he hated me or why he didn't. I could stop thinking about him so much. He was making me all self-conscious and angry.

_But, wait._

I hadn't even thought about him for two days.

Maybe I had found a way to be comfortable with myself. Maybe I had found someone who could make me forget the 'unwelcome'-feeling.

_Jake. _

Strange that I hadn't ever really talked to him before. How strange that I only really knew him for three days. Smiling at today's memories I fell asleep. I was his Mrs. Road Tanker.

…………………

**Sorry that it took me so long to update. I'm very busy with my finals right now, the first is up tomorrow. Please keep reviewing and adding me to favorites so I'll know that someone DOES read this ;-) Or just read it, I'm fine with that, too.**

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	9. So Much For Staying Out Of Trouble

**My traffic page works, juhu! Now I know that hundreds of you read my story and that's way better than none! Thanks, yall!**

**Disclaimer: I think I just won't put a Disclaimer here anymore. Everyone knows that I do not own Twilight or any related characters/themes. And it's not like anyone would read the last chapters before the first ones. And they all have a Disclaimer. That should do for the rest!**

Chapter 9: So Much For Staying Out Of TroubleBPOV

When I woke up I was in a strangely good mood once again. Last night I had had a dream about going tramping with Jake in a road tanker. Now that I thought of it, it had been a strange dream. But it reminded me of yesterday. I smiled in remembrance as I poured milk into my cereals. "Morning, dad!" I yelled into the living room where Charlie was already eating his breakfast. "Good morning, Bells," he greeted me as I joined him. Today was going to be a great day, I was sure.

……..

It was pouring outside when I pulled into the school's parking lot. This time, I wasn't late and it wasn't a Sunday. I would have to put up with school, but that couldn't darken my mood. You didn't need to be Moses to recognize the puddles of water and the almost flooded lot as the Deluge's little brother. To my luck the truck was too heavy to be bothered by the water. It splashed everywhere as the huge tires just pushed it aside. Carefully, I pulled at into a free parking spot that had a some space besides it without five inches of water on top.

Sighing, I killed the engine and climbed out of my truck into the pouring rain. Because of the heavy rain I could hardly see the building.

That was probably exactly the reason why Tyler didn't see me standing in the rain or any of the cars in the lot. Today was his birthday, I recalled as I heard a car speed around the last turn before the parking lot. Obviously, he had gotten a nice car and wanted everyone to know. It had to be Tyler and he was going way too fast for the narrow turn.

The world around me seemed to slow down. Slowly, slowly yet too fast the car slid around the curve and Tyler lost control over it. He was hydroplaning on the inches of water and had no way to stop or steer the car.

Slowly, slowly, yet too fast he skidded into the parking lot, right to where I was standing. Staring into his shocked eyes I was too terrified to move even a fraction of an inch. Fear kept me frozen in place. I was surprised by how surreal it seemed that I was going to die on a day that had started out so great.

I closed my eyes and waited for death to take me. _So much for staying safe_, I thought as the sound of the collision filled my ears. They always say that the moment you die your life flashes before your eyes. That is a lie. I only felt the hard surface of the car hitting me and the rocks on the concrete that I fell on. I felt blood running down my leg, the pattering of the rain and I heard metal bending. A pressure was on my body as though something was holding me down.

I also felt like I was being submerged by something cold. Somehow I was afraid that I was under water and drowning. Just that I already _was_ dead. _Not the greatest thoughts to leave the earth with._

Surprisingly, I didn't feel dead. I didn't feel like I had been crushed to death by Tyler's car. I couldn't see anything but darkness and I felt strangely alive. But maybe that was just how it feels to be dead. No one had ever lived through death to tell his story, after all. So I just relaxed, enjoyed the numb feeling that started to spread through my leg and waited for the light, hoping it wouldn't take too long to rescue me from the cold and wet.

Silently, I counted to three.

_One… _

_Two… _

_Threeee… … … _

Still no light appeared. Maybe I couldn't see it because I had my eyes closed? Curiously, I opened them one by one.

Only to realize that I must be either very much alive or having a vivid dream. I was looking at a wet piece of concrete. Suddenly, the weight on my body lifted. "Are you okay?" a voice asked me that sounded very much like someone I knew. Great, now he had to haunt me even in my dreams. _Edward. _As if his real-life torturing gaze wasn't enough! He had his ice-cold hand on my shoulder and looked at me with concerned eyes.

Carefully, I sat up and checked my surroundings to reconstruct what had just happened. I had been in the parking lot alone. Tyler had lost control in the curve and hydroplaned into me, for all I knew, but I was alive. This was just way too realistic to be a dream.

I was in a very small space between my truck and Tyler's car with Edward. Right where we were sitting, the car had a big dent. One of my legs was under the car and bleeding from hitting the concrete.

But what had happened? Suddenly, I remembered the cold weight on me and something hitting me before I heard the metal's impact.

It was incredible. It couldn't be that way. We should've both been dead. And where the heck had Edward come from so suddenly?

"_You_ stopped the car?" But how would he have done that without getting himself killed? I just didn't get what had just happened.

"You know that I can't stop cars. You bumped your head on the concrete and passed out for a while, so you probably just don't remember the car stopping right in front of us." –_Bang--_"I tried to get you down so maybe the car would just slide on over us. I was just walking past your car when Tyler lost control and I had to do something…" He did that eye thing on me the whole time and I couldn't look away for a second. Not even the strange banging sound was enough to pull me away from him. He could be very persuasive!

It took me a moment to gather my brain parts again after he looked away, but then I blurted out, "What about the dent in the car? It must have hit you! I heard the metal bending, I saw the dent. And still you're not dead. I don't…", but he interrupted me with a kind little smile.

"Which dent?" Incredulously, I stared first at him and then at the dent. Which wasn't there anymore. "Come on, there was a dent. Don't tell me I hit my head. It was just there and you must've seen it, too!"

By now, I was very confused, angry at Edward and doubting my sanity. "Like I said, you hit your head. It's okay to be confused. Now, let us get out of here, the others are coming." With that, he pulled me to my feet and swooped me up into his arms and ran to the sickroom.

I started to protest, but he shushed me and rested me on a stretcher. Without another word to me, he pulled his phone out and frantically began talking to someone. His lips moved so fast that I didn't understand a word.

"I called my father. He is a doctor and will be here in just a few minutes with an ambulance."

"Thank you," I answered him for I hadn't thanked him yet. After all, he had rescued me. However he did that without getting himself killed.

Just a little while after the telephone call, the secretary opened the door for a young blond man. He was tall, pale and handsome like Edward and had the same astonishing golden eyes. Without a doubt, he had to be Mr. Cullen. He wore a kind smile on his face. "Hello Bella, my name is Carlisle Cullen. I am not sure of what your injuries are, so we should get you out of here quickly."

With that, the two Cullens grabbed the stretcher and carried me into the waiting ambulance. Lots of students gave me concerned looks, but they didn't dare to approach me on the stretcher. Maybe they were afraid to hurt me if they did… I really felt fine, but I knew that I would just upset everyone more if I decided to just walk away. After all, I might have been dead.

I angrily glanced at Edward from time to time. He wouldn't get away with his secrecy as easily as last time!

…………………

**This was a very hard chapter for me to write, I hope that it's worth the effort!**

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	10. Puzzle Pieces

**I'm right in the middle of my final exams right now, so it took me some time to write this. I hope it's worth the wait! It is too short once again and not much happens. But I really need you to know about Edward's personality and feelings and I couldn't stand having this section ready and working by itself without posting it right now.**

Chapter 10: Puzzle PiecesEPOV

Unfortunately, the weekend left me with plenty of time to ponder over my decision to leave Bella fuming with anger. I really couldn't answer her questions honestly and any half-truth would've led to more questions, confusion and angry sentiments of hers. And I certainly didn't want her to be angry. Such a gentle being shouldn't ever be.

But then again, Bella was beautiful even when she was annoyed. The way that her brow furrowed and her eyes shot daggers was really … I searched for the right word in my head…_cute_. I hadn't ever called anyone that. Not even Tanya, whom everyone considered beautiful. Annoyingly, she had expressed interest in me again this summer. _Doesn't she ever get it? I'm not the one for romantic escapades._

As the weekend went by I realized that not only was I not disliking the person who made me want to kill humans once again, but that I actually found her cute. That I wanted to be with her more than anything. And this strange feeling of attraction wasn't only due to her delicious blood. It was her personality, her pale skin, the shy but astonishing smile. It was the way that her eyes shone when she talked about her mother, her innocence, even her adoring little temper tantrums when she detected my half-truths.

I felt like I had known her my whole life and yet there were so many riddles unsolved, so many puzzle pieces not clicked into place or even missing completely.

Really, I wanted to be with her now and it took all that I had not to run to her house and tell her that I was sorry that I upset her Friday. I wanted to listen to her tell me about her life for eternity, I craved her presence, her laugh and everything else about her that none of the other dumb students seemed to notice.

The girls hated her for her beauty and the guys drooled because of it. Especially that Newton kid. Black wasn't so bad after all, at least he didn't think about what was under her clothes. He seemed okay. He would be good for her.

And in the end she would end up marrying someone like him, I knew it. Some random kid from school or college - and she'd be laughing because of him, her eyes twinkling and happiness radiating from her whole being.

She deserved nothing but this happiness.

Another thing I knew, too: This guy wasn't going to be me.

When I felt the pain in my chest as I was thinking these thoughts, I had to admit that I wanted to be _that guy_ for her. I wanted to make her laugh, I wanted to hold her and have her to myself. And yes, I definitely cared for her a lot more than I _should_. Especially more than _I_ should and more than was sane for anyone who knew anyone for such a short period of time. But then again, it was Bella Swan. Who didn't like her the instant they saw her? _Right. Stanley._ Stanley didn't count, she disliked anyone who looked better than her.

It wasn't right to want to be with her. She wasn't safe around me. Anytime it could be too much. I could've snapped Friday, I could've easily drenched her in front of all the witnesses. I might've killed her, revealed us, destroyed our whole carefully built-up existence in one non-rational moment of mine. One where I gave in to the urge to bite, to drink, to kill her. And all of that in a blink of an eye.

I was dangerous. A monster. A murderer. How did I dare to even think of talking to her again? To promise her I'd explain when I knew I couldn't? When I knew what this explaining would cause?

Her being fearful for her life, us leaving.

I shuddered at the thought of it and set my mind. I simply couldn't kill her. There was no way on earth that I could ever harm such a wonderful being. But there was also no way that I was going to tell her about my supernatural nature, either, knowing what her reaction would be. Although fear would be the proper reaction, I didn't want her to be afraid of me.

I didn't want her to be fearful because I cared for her. I hadn't felt this way about a human being in over a century.

That was exactly the reason why I waited for her to pull into the swimming-pool that the school's parking lot had become. I had decided that I wasn't going to let my self-control slip and that I was going to apologize to her. I couldn't stand the possibility that she would stay mad at me and hate me for my prior rudeness forever. _As though she had forever. Right. I'm the damned one here._

The rain was pouring down on me and soaked my clothes as I stood there waiting for her. I couldn't care less, though. I leant back against a tree trunk and if I still had one, my heart would've been racing with anticipation and fear at the same time. I was looking forward to seeing Bella again and I hoped for her forgiveness, yet I feared her refusal. Waiting was heaven and hell at the same time. There was nothing that I had done to deserve heaven, but a guy can hope, right?

It wasn't long until I heard her truck roaring down Main Street. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she seemed to like driving it. It was loud, close to falling apart and much too slow for my liking.

Even through the pouring rain I could see her content smile. Her beautiful brown eyes shone with joy. It was clearly visible to me, but the others who stared at the roaring truck just saw a thick curtain of rain and a red blur. _Vampire eyes._

Very carefully she drove into the school's lot and parked a little way off from the other cars. As I wondered why she would do that since she was perfectly able to park, my question was answered when I saw her jump out of the truck onto a magically relatively dry piece of pavement. Obviously, she was smart like that.

I would've carried her to school and held an umbrella over her head, but that surely would've scared her away. It wasn't the right thing to do, not now that I had to apologize for being such a complete and utter idiot before. _And for being a monster. You can't change that, though!_

Slowly, I walked over to the spot where she had parked her car. It took all my willpower not to run at inhuman speed, but I couldn't attract everyone's attention. Even if this seemed like the most important conversation of my lifetime, even if Bella was insanely mad at me. While I deliberately made my way over to her, the rain even intensified, as if to fight me back. Yet there was no stopping me now. I would be in her sight soon.

Suddenly, I registered what the rain was trying to tell me and froze mid-walking. She was very unlikely going to be talkative in the middle of a rainstorm. Of course I didn't mind the moisture and the cold, but then again I couldn't come down with the flue. And my skin was cold as ice without the rain, too. But hers wasn't. She was all warm and relatively pale for a human and very soft. I could tell that much from the one time that I had ever touched her. She had been handing me some samples in Biology and I had felt an electric spark on my skin where she touched me. She had me liking Biology labs for once. Her skin almost matched mine in color, but it was more of an opposite: Warm and cold as ice, soft and hard as a diamond.

The instant that I stopped and thought about all of these things at the same time (vampires can do that) I heard Tyler speeding around the corner. He was much too fast. Not that I was the one to judge anyone regarding speed-limits, but he didn't have my heightened senses and driving abilities.

I was frozen in place as my quick brain easily did the Mathematics to figure out where his uncontrolled swerve would take him.

My eyes whipped around at an unmoving Bella. She had stopped breezing and her eyes were huge with terror. Still, she didn't move as Tyler lost control over his vehicle and it went into hydroplaning. Straight towards where Bella was standing. She really was the most amazing creature in this dull world. Bella didn't even _try _to outrun the truck. Instead, she simply stood there accepting her terrible fate.

As I started to run toward her I didn't care about my inhuman speed or the many witnesses. I didn't even turn around to check if anyone was watching me or her. All I could think was '_Not her!'_

…………………

**I've got a few questions for my favorite fans because, after all, I'm writing this for you and I want you to be happy with this.**

**What do you think about multiple POVs or retelling scenes from a different POV? **

**Any ideas about secondary characters? I was thinking the pack, Angela, Jasper, Rose?**

**Should I make up new characters or stick to the novel's ones?**

**In general: How close would you like this story to the original? **

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	11. The Questioning

**I am very sorry that updating took me so long. I kept changing my mind about this chapter because it is fairly important for the future ones. After some writer's blocks I finally got it the way I wanted it to be. So, here it is!**

Chapter 11: The QuestioningBPOV

It was really hard to reign in my excitement while I was brought to the hospital. If nothing was wrong with Edward, it would've been extremely embarrassing to bring the subject up in public. I'd definitely be considered crazy for the next few decades if that was the case and I wasn't planning on that. So I settled on shooting him dirty looks and keeping quiet – for now.

Soon they had me in a hospital bed and Dr. Carlisle Cullen (I think that was his name) began checking my limbs for injuries. Except for the bloody wound I seemed to have gone unharmed. Looks like even accident-prone people like me sometimes get lucky, after all. The doctor carefully bandaged my calf, but couldn't avoid touching me altogether. I violently shivered under his touch. Others might have put it off as the after-effects of going into shock, which I surprisingly didn't feel. Only I knew that it was because of his icy hands. It felt like they were made of stone or something similar. They were cold and hard, although his touch was soft. I began to wonder why that was and adding it to my 'weird list' when Dr. Cullen interrupted my shivering apologetically.

"I am truly sorry that my hands are this cold. As a doctor, I have to wash them with ice-cold water fairly often, so they seldom get their required time away from water to warm up. They pay me for giving you goose bumps," he laughed. His laughter was infectious and I fell in. Since I now understood the cause of his iciness, I went to thanking him for his help. "It really isn't a problem. I'm just glad that you got my leg bandaged up." I had never liked blood, especially not my own. Merely my anger at Edward's behavior and the shock had kept me from letting the nausea take over my body.

"It is my job," the kind doctor smiled at me. "I'm going to leave you to yourself now, you need some rest before your concerned friends will begin to file in. Oh, I called your father, he will be here in an hour. I asked him to give you some much needed recovery time first."

"Okay, thanks again!" I really wasn't ready to deal with the concerns and attention of all my classmates, false friends or even my family right now. Come to think of it, now that I didn't have an audience anymore, I still had to resolve one issue.

"I need to speak to Edward. Could you ask him to come here?"

I got a nod as a response and was left to myself and the empty room. It smelled of hospital chemicals and a constant ticking and beeping was in the air. I couldn't see any medical equipment, though, but the heart monitor and is cord that was tightly attached to my wrist.

Surprisingly, my wonderful day had turned into something terrible. Either something was wrong with the Cullens or my brain was damaged. Not a nice prospect… And to add to my misery, I was surely going to be the center of the town's attention for the next few _weeks! _

As the door opened and bronze hair and golden eyes peeked in after a short knock, I realized that I didn't have any idea how to do this. It was somehow important to handle this conversation the right way, I could clearly feel it deep down in my heart. I had to be persuasive and resist his dazzle. At the same time, persistence was needed as well as self-effacement. If he had some kind of disease, I surely wouldn't want to be the one to make him admit it. I didn't think that it was something quite as normal as an illness that made Edward and his family so different, but still. Rudeness was not my way of getting information out of others. Did I even have a way? I had never purposely tried to get someone I barely knew to talk to me.

"You wanted to speak to me?" It looked as though his mind was already made up when he fully entered the room after finishing his survey of the room. By the way his jaw was set I could tell that he was determined not to tell me anything. But I wanted to know the truth. The full truth. So I demanded it, maybe a little too insensitive, instead of an answer.

"I told you the truth. You know that I could not have stopped the car. We both know that. What is there left to talk about?"

"There is something about you that I don't get. And I'm afraid that you will have to tell me unless you want me in a brain hospital," I informed him. "There are so many strange things about you and your family and please don't tell me that I'm imagining things. My theories are probably worse than reality, so why don't you just tell me the truth? All of it? I don't mean to be inappropriately nosey and I certainly don't want to insult you or your relatives. I'm just afraid for my own mental well-being. Hopefully, you can respect that. If you can't, just have me committed right here and now!" My short speech had become desperate towards the end of it. Its word might have been dramatic, but they were true nevertheless. I really was afraid that I was going crazy. Maybe my brain had started to find strangeness everywhere because Forks was too normal for my liking. I felt panic begin to creep up my spine and my pulse began to hammer through my veins. Maybe they _were_ going to have me committed!

Edward sighed at my words and the look of determination seemed to lift a little. For a brief second I thought I had seen defeat on his face. But I wasn't so sure anymore when he turned around and sat down next to my bed. His face was perfectly composed now.

"Look, you're not crazy…" he started, but then seemed to change his mind. "What did you notice?" I took a deep breath and then started to ramble through my mental list of weirdness.

"Well, you are all extremely pale. You have golden eyes, a color that eyes normally just aren't. And they seem to change colors, too: Right now yours are almost black." I stopped to confirm my earlier observation, but quickly looked down again. Throughout my account, I didn't dare to look at his face again. I wanted to get this off my chest without being dazzled or stared down.

"You stopped Tyler's van with your shoulder and then you probably dented it back while you were _dazzling_ me," I instinctively rolled my eyes. If I'd been looking at him then, he probably would've done it again right there and then. "And there is no way that any normal person could have seen me standing there in the pouring rain and run over to my truck that fast. I truly am grateful for your speed, never doubt that, but still. You never eat at school, you keep to yourselves, you're all scarily beautiful." There wasn't a filter in my words, I just let them out. "Your siblings are dating each other- I know they're not related- but why do you all still look so much like another when you share no blood?"

I had built up my courage while I talked to check one thing. I snatched his hand (apparently surprising him, because he looked shocked at my move) and felt its temperature, then dropped it and continued. "And you're all icy. Your father is too." When he opened his mouth, apparently to protest, I shushed him and objected. "Now don't you even try to start telling me that you just washed your hands because you were just as cold at the truck!"

Finally, I added "And you stare at me and glare and look like you want to kill me and suddenly you tell me you don't hate me at all and then walk out on me like nothing ever happened? What am I supposed to think! 'There is a random guy at school that hates me at first sight and ignores me just that he claims that he really doesn't hate me'" Tears started to pool in my eyes, but I stopped myself. Although his behavior had hurt me, I didn't want him to know all about it or whine and mope about it. That would only help him to hurt me some more.

Edward waited a moment for me to compose myself. Then he finally answered.

"I really can't tell you now. You are right, we are not quite like ordinary people, but I just can tell you! This is about all of my family and I have to talk to them first. It is nothing you would need to or want to know, anyways, so why do you have to know?" He sighed and his eyes softened as he answered himself. "Right, your mental well-being. I wouldn't want to risk that, it is too precious to me," This seemed to be a pretty weird response.

Why would he even care about me or my health? After all of the if-looks-could-kill-glares he suddenly had decided to pretend liking me. Whatever his reasons were, his fake concern was almost worse to deal with than the glaring. I didn't understand either one, but at least his hatred had been honest.

"Why do you hate me? And why wouldn't I like your answer? Like I said, my imagination's product is probably way worse than the real thing" I insisted.

"What do you imagine, then?" he inquired. "Steroids? Hereditary diseases?" He paused and gave me a sad look. "Whatever you think, it is worse. It is bad, evil. We are dangerous people. In fact, I shouldn't even be sitting here with you right now. You shouldn't know and you shouldn't want to know as well."

"I don't think that it is a _normal _abnormality. You aren't… _normal_ people like me or the other students. You're something _more_… Right?" I could only hope that I was right and wasn't about to embarrass myself more than necessary.

When Edwards face twisted and he looked unbelievably sad, I knew that I was right. He looked torn and desperate, but still attempted to answer me "I, Bella- You can't … I'll scare…I _can't. _Just…_Ah_" A tortured sound escaped him and he jumped to his feet in a movement that blurred because of his speed. Again. How could he be this fast?

"Really. I want to tell you, but I _can't_, at least not right now. Do you promise not to talk to anyone about the… things you noticed if I promise you something in return?" He hesitated for a second and then continued. "I will tell you when you are ready. You will tell me about your theories and I will eventually tell you what kind of people we are. But please reconsider this and remember that it is not safe."

"Why can't you tell me now?" I said as I tried to get up. With inhuman speed, Edward was at my side again and gently pushed me back down on the hospital's bed. When I tried to fight him, he locked his fingers around my wrist and started talking to me persuasively.

"You are still in shock, Bella. Carlisle already told you and he even told me to let you rest. Your body can't take any more agitation and visitors will soon begin to come through this door." As he saw that I gave up my resistance and reluctantly relaxed back against my pillows, he released my wrist.

"I don't want to upset you – I really don't – that is why you need to rest now and calm down. I know that you will not let this go easily, but are you really sure that you want to know about this? It is a dark secret and dangerous to withhold."

I nodded eagerly, but also a little frightened. "Then you have my word that I will tell you the complete and utter truth. Soon. As soon as you are physically and mentally able to handle it. If you change your mind, I'll be glad to pretend that nothing has happened."

Edward took a deep breath and then let the air out with a whooshing sound.

"Promise me to calm down and not tell anyone? This is about my whole family and thus vitally important to all of us. Please? I can't jeopardize my family's safety." He almost pleaded with me and looked me deeply in the eyes, effectively locking mine with his. I just couldn't resist those eyes!

I also didn't want Edward's family to be in any trouble because of my assumptions, so I settled on huffing a 'fine' to him. His face lit up at my response and he smiled that weird but beautiful smile of his. It looked a little crooked, I had noticed that before in Biology or when he laughed with his siblings. He seemed so sad, even when he smiled. As though one of the corners of his mouth was carrying too heavy a burden to properly follow along with the smile.

Without another word he got up and went to open the door. When he was almost all the way through it, he turned around and promised "As soon as you are ready," and quickly disappeared.

I was left to my thoughts, tangled as usual. Yet again he had managed to evade my questions, but he was most likely right. I felt sore and tired, so I appreciated the rest he forced me into having. At least I was going to know his secret soon. He had admitted to have one and I was not going to allow him a breach of promise.

This secret of his seemed to be twisted and dark. It made my spine tingle in a good and bad way at the same time. Somehow I was afraid of the day he would reveal the truth to me. Though I was curious, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be the confidant of such a dark and, according to Edward, dangerous family.

…………………

**Thanks for your patience, please review! This is one important step in the B/E part of the story, so tell me if you like it!**

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	12. Not A Fairytale

Chapter 12: Not A FairytaleNo one's POV

As Jacob considered the events of the past few days, he realized that everything had turned out in his favor. Well, almost everything.

Just a moment ago, Bella had left his house after a wonderful afternoon. He just couldn't believe that he should be so lucky to have her return to Forks. If fate were to always do his bidding, she never would've left in the first place, but who was he to meddle with fate? Now she was here and he intended to keep it that way. Although _here_ could be averagely a little closer to La Push, if you asked him. He didn't know what it was about Bella that he liked so much, but he knew one thing: He really did like her very much.

And that she liked him, at least a little bit, at least enough to occasionally hang out with him, was a great thing, he thought. Quil had been behaving strangely these past few days. His awkward staring at the beach party a few days ago had just topped it off. Suddenly, he had begun to distance himself from his oldest childhood friend, Jacob. Quil spent more and more time around Sam, some older boy from the reservation. Sam had his hair shaved short. He was the only one in the reservation. Jacob couldn't understand him. He stanced around like he owned the place and even got himself a tribal tattoo. Jacob had never paid much attention to the older guy, but he had noticed his abrupt changes. He had distanced himself from his friends, too, and gotten more aggressive from day to day. In the end, he had left his long-time girlfriend, Leah, to date her _cousin._ For Jacob, there couldn't be any crueler choice of a new girlfriend. He was afraid that Quil would turn into a new Sam and he would loose his friend to whatever tribal thing was going on. Surely, this had to be Sam's fault somehow. It just had to!

…...

**JPOV**

So, how in the world did I get so lucky as to have Bella of all people come over to my house? Yeah, I know that people come to my house and she used to stay here a lot. But she went to school on a weekend (how funny is that!) and chose to visit me of all people when she realized her mistake.

After she left, I had some time to think of today's events. I hadn't expected her to come over, I had hoped that it would be Embry. I didn't dare to hope for Quil showing his ugly face around here. _Yeah, I know. I just can't help the bitterness. He is my best friend, after all. Or used to be..._ It was a little embarrassing to stand in front of her half-naked, but I don't think she minded that much. At least she didn't cover her eyes or run right back out- although that wasn't what she'd ever do, I was relieved. She did the contrary: I dared to think that she was oggling me.

Oggling. Me.

That gave me a serious ego-boost. I'm not the one for self-confidence or boasting, never have been. But I didn't feel too bad anymore. Though... what if she didn't like what she saw? I'm not ugly, but what if I'm not exactly her type?

Another thing I didn't get: What was up with her blushing thing when she said she didn't want Charlie to know her thoughts? Thoughts involve memories... She probably wasn't as innocent as she always appeared to be. Or she had a dirty mind, though I couldn't imagine that. It was Bella I was thinking about, she was way to... innocent for those kind of thoughts.

Hell, even I didn't blush at my own thoughts! What was up with the blushing? Maybe she was secretly dating someone?

But who would that be? She hadn't been here for a long enough time to find someone for a serious relationship, had she? I really wanted to believe that -or rather know it. I had to find out somehow without being too obvious about it. I didn't want her to get hurt by some idiot in town, I told myself. I was just being protective of a friend.

She was a really strong girl, though her clumsiness and her occasional forgetting things made her seem vulnerable. I sometimes felt like protecting her from the evils of the world, though I highly doubted she needed any. She was confident enough to visit me without an invitation, you see? I would've invited her if I'd known that she had any intentions whatsoever to go to school on a weekend. But who would've expected that- even of Bella? No one.

Sighing, I turned on the TV and plopped myself on the couch. It was going to be a long time until the next weekend was due to arrive, but maybe I could call Bella and ask her to come over later into the week? I didn't really want to have to face Charlie, so I hoped she could make it.

There was just one problem, or rather two: I had to call her. And she had to accept.

I wasn't really watching TV when my dad entered, but I called out to him anyway. "Hey dad, wanna join me?"- "What are you watching, son?" I considered the commercial on the screen for a while and decided to tell the truth, since I couldn't really guess which show it belonged to. "No idea!"

"Why are you watching then?", Billy asked, but apparently he already knew. He always did. Sometimes it was a good thing and at other times it definitely wasn't. One time, for example, I was at home, waiting for him in front of the TV. I swear I didn't do anything differently from the way I always tend to sit there and watch my favorite crime show. I swear! Yet still he steered his way into the house and it took him like zero point four-five seconds to figure out something was wrong and only five more to find about about the broken vase. 'Darn him for knowing everything!', I often thought. I thought the very same thing when he answered himself, in a way, with a second question.

"This isn't about school, is it? You wouldn't really worry about that until it's way too late", he joked. Billy was once more serious when he added "Don't worry about Quil, he'll come around eventually. He's just going through some tough times, so don't hold a grudge against him. After all, he's your best friend and he'll probably be closer to normal soon. Don't worry, it'll all work out. You might not understand it now, but you will eventually." At his words, Billy patted my arm lightly, wheeled around to the kitchen and started preparing himself some sandwiches for dinner. His abrupt departure left me to think about his words. Maybe it would all work out, but still, I was worried to no end that it wouldn't ever be the same. Friends don't just forget about each other and become all distant and … I don't know... unlike themselves, at least not without telling one about the reasons.

This night, nightmares kept me awake. I dreamt of a harsh and unemotional stranger of whom I somehow knew that he was Quil behind his mask of apparent differences. I just couldn't get him to remember his old and familiar self. For all the sleeping I had done I hadn't gotten any relaxation. I felt like I had been hit with a baseball bat, both physically and emotionally. Loosing my oldest and best friend wasn't a pleasant thing to dream about and definitely not a nice prospect. A prospect that might become reality all too soon...

But then I remembered my talk with Billy last night. Maybe he was right and all would be well. Too bad I didn't live in a fairy tale...

I pretty much spent the whole morning wallowing in self-pity. My best friend was about to decide he hated me. Even my dad knew what was up with him and _he simply wouldn't tell me! _

That was seriously fucked up! One friend down and even my dad took his side, though I didn't even know what his side was!

My train of thought was redirected abruptly just after school. There was only one thing that was able to stop my moping around and my gnawing thoughts and worries about Quil. One sentence was enough to pull the gravel from under my feet, and I mean that quite literally. I had to sit down on the porch swing because I was so shocked. It was only one simple sentence that Billy had to say to cause all of this. One simple sentence that scared me, shocked me, made me feel like my very soul was crumbling from pain. I knew something was wrong the moment I saw him waiting for me on the porch. He often waited there for my arrival, but this time was different. There was a strange electricity in the air and it felt dangerous outside. Worry was etched all across Billy's face. "What happened?", I whispered hoarsely. The answer made my heart skip a beat and time stop for a brief moment.

"Bella is in the hospital."

…

**Duh-duh-duh-duh! Jacob's POV was way overdue, hope you liked it!**

**Please check out my one-shot about Leah! I'd love to hear what yall think!**

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	13. Legends

Chapter 13: LegendsJPOV

I was at the hospital in close to no time at all, but still the drive felt endless. I was devastated at what had happened to Bella and I needed to see her right now. What would it have been like if she had died this morning?

Billy had told me everything he knew about her accident. One idiot was apparently enough to destroy the perfectly healthy life of a wonderful person. I felt like killing this Tyler guy for what he had almost done to her and to all of us. Surely, he hadn't intended to hurt her, but still he had been irresponsibly reckless and inconsiderate.

Her death would have destroyed a great number of lives. Her mother would've blamed herself for the terrible accident because she allowed her to leave. Even worse, she would see her new relationship to Philipp as the cause of her leaving and feel guilty all the more.

Charlie would be mourning her for years, if not forever. He had no woman at his side and losing daughter would've left him all alone and brokenhearted.

Poor Tyler would've had to live with his guilt for all his life. To all others he would be known as the boy who killed beautiful Bella. That was what her name meant: beautiful. Really, I'm not kidding. It's Italian for beautiful.

And then there was me. I might not have known her all her life, but she had still etched her name into my heart next to Billy's, my Mom's (it was still painful to think about her), Rachel's and Rebecca's. My friends' names were written across my heart, too. Embry. And even Quil.

At first, Bella was only my sisters' holiday friend, but I already felt like she had become my friend now. I wasn't ready to lose her, not at all. She had so much of her life ahead of her and I wanted to play a major role in it. That is why I simply had to see her now. She was probably in pain and if there was any way to take her mind of the pain, I would try myself at easing it.

As I was pulling the car into the crowded parking lot of the hospital, I decided just what would do this easing away of pain. I was going to tell her about some of our Quileute legends. It was going to be a mystic and ancient tale about my ancestors' true nature.

…...

I hurried through the hospital's entrance hall without so much as a glance around. I knew my way around because Billy had given me a minute description of where to find her. He'd probably known about the hurry I was bound to be in as soon as I was out of his sight.

Almost sprinting down the narrow and sterile white hallway I remembered the other patients and slowed myself. It was almost painful: Knowing where she was but not being allowed to go there at an appropriate pace. Running was appropriate if you asked me. She had narrowly escaped a horrible death and desperate times called for desperate measures. Too bad I also was risen to mind my manners. Darn Billy for that!

As soon as the door was in sight, I sped up, more or less jogging towards the white door on my right with a big '15' across it. But when I reached it, I came to an abrupt halt. What if she didn't want to see me? Tentatively, I raised my hand and knocked softly on the thick door separating me from her. Would she even be awake? Suddenly, I felt really shy. What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, I heard you got hurt and I needed to see you, because...' _Yeah, why exactly?_

"Come in", a weak voice sounded from within. She didn't sound happy or angry, just tired. I sincerely hoped I hadn't woken her up. She would need the rest after all the things that had happened. Just imagining all the attention she had probably had turned unto her was enough to know that she had not enjoyed her day yet, not one minute of it. I was going to change that, I decided as I timidly entered the room.

Bella was almost invisible under the huge sheets. Her pale skin almost matched their color and she seemed so small and frail next to the massive bed frame. "Bells!" I exclaimed, worry and joy mixing in my voice. "How are you, hon?" When she found out that it was me who had entered the room, relief flooded her face and she tried to sit up. Whom had she expected that made her worry?

Quickly, I rushed to her to her side and helped her up. "I'm not that badly injured, really! It's only my leg that is damaged a little!", she protested, but then admitted "It could've been so much worse, though. I'm just glad that _somehow_ Cullen managed to save me. He won't tell me the truth"

Obviously, she was very annoyed by this fact, so I decided to ask her about this particular Cullen guy. "Are you angry that he saved you or about the lying part?", I jokingly inquired. She had to laugh a little at my question, too, and apparently laughing didn't hurt her. Good – she was being truthful about not being severely injured.

When she answered, Bella was once again serious. "He somehow stopped that blasted van with his _shoulder_ and he won't tell me what is up with him! It is really annoying and frustrating, too, because I was beginning to think I was imagining things. Already saw myself in a brain hospital. Well, that was until he confirmed my suspicions that he was somehow different from the others in school. He told me that he was dangerous." She rolled her eyes. "And he won't tell me a thing about this creepy family secret until I'm 'ready' because he apparently won't – I'm quoting now – 'jeopardize his family's safety'. Seriously. I'm concerned about my mental well-being and he is worrying about the fact that I could tell someone his precious secret? He just doesn't want me to know all about it, I'm beginning to suspect." Bella huffed in frustration. She was right. If anyone swore her to secrecy, she would rather die than give the secret away. Bella was such a truthful and strong person. I could see it clearly in the determined shine of her brown doe eyes.

"Okay, calm down a minute", I interrupted, "so you're suspecting that he has some kind of dark secret that he doesn't want you to know about? It might have to do with the legends... You know, our tribe suspects something about their ancestors. Creepy stuff and not to be taken seriously..." I paused for a while to think of any side-effects of telling her about them. I definitely didn't want to freak her out further, but since one of the Cullens had confirmed the strangeness she noted, the damage had apparently already been done. Maybe I had the chance to show her how far-fetched these myths and suspicions were.

"I was going to tell you about them anyway, to get your mind off today. But I had no idea the Cullens saved you... Funny coincidence.", I was almost rambling to myself now, but addressed Bella with the next question. "Which one was it? I didn't know they cared for anyone outside their family at all.", I wondered. Before she could respond, obviously confused that I would ask, I added "Lemme guess. It was the doctor! He's the only one who's slightly compassionate and interacts with outsiders at all", I concluded. "Well, you're not an outsider... You're not part of their family, that's what I meant. You know that you belong, right? You aren't an outsider..." I rambled, but then stopped myself to let her answer my initial question.

"Actually, it wasn't. I'm pretty surprised, too, because I always thought that he hated me thoroughly... It was Edward. The one with the bronze, messy hair. You know the Cullens?" She seemed to be surprised by this asset. I was surprised myself- When the heck did Edward start to care about anyone beside himself? He always seemed to keep to himself the most of all of these secluded people. Maybe I hadn't gotten his personality right. Or maybe he liked her? My gut twisted at that thought. I had met him a few times because Billy insisted that I knew our "mortal enemies". Yeah. He really believed in that stuff.

"Yeah... It has to do with what I am going to tell you about. Billy insisted that I know their names and faces... Have you ever heard any of the Quileute legends?" She shook her head no to that. "Good, then you're gonna hear the first one now. I'm no good at story-telling, but this supposedly involves the Cullens' and my tribe's ancestors. You're going to like it, at least that is what I'm hoping for. Connection to reality and all."

I cleared my throat once before I began talking again. Without my consent, my voice changed to a tone usually reserved for secrets or conspiracies. "Okay, here it goes... A long, long time ago, our tribe came across strange people. They had cold, impenetrable skin and an unusual diet. My ancestors caught one of them drinking the blood of a girl that had disappeared that morning. He had slaughtered her with supernatural strength and the lure of his beauty. We called his relatives 'The Cold Ones'."

After these first sentences, I began telling her about the legend. It all boiled down to my ancestors being werewolves who had been turning into wolves at free will for the sheer purpose of destroying vampires and the Cullens' ancestors being vampires - though they claimed not to drink from human prey. I still thought that it was a disgusting habit and choice of diet.

Bella seemed to have been pulled into the magic of the ancient story. It took her a while to really know where she was, I noticed with a quiet chuckle to myself. Did she really believe that stuff like Billy did?

"You are a great story-teller, Jake", she finally said with a smile. "It gives me a lot to think about..." The sentence was left unfinished and dangled in the air for me to wonder about it. "It's just a legend, a bedtime-story. Don't worry about it and just rest for a little while. You could've been hurt much worse, so I am glad that you are this well. Cullen saved you and that's a good thing, huh? However he did that. Should've killed him, but I'm glad. He'll tell you about his steel shoulder in no time, I'm sure".

My words didn't calm her like they were intended to. She smiled a little at the idea of a steel shoulder- hey, it was the most likely explanation!- but then looked worried again.

"Jake?" "Yeah?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"What if the legends are true?"

…

**This time, I'll use my bottom space to thank my anonymous reviewers! I try to reply to. all signed reviews personally, but I can't thank the non-registered ones. So here it goes: THANK YOU!**

**You don't have to be a writer to be signed in and it is really quite handy! Writers can respond to your reviews and you'll be notified if a story (on story alert) has been updated. They won't send you spam mails, so I can only encourage each and every one of my readers to sign in (and please review!)**

**** I know he's NOT called Philipp, but apparently Jake doesn't****

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	14. Shy&Curly or IntimidatinglyMuscular?

Chapter 14: Shy-and-curly-blonde or Intimidatingly-muscular?BPOV

Jacob's visit had really given me plenty of things to consider. His departure gave me no time to ponder over the question that consumed my very mind, though: Could Edward Cullen really be a vampire?

I was fascinated by the idea of it and very scared. Vampires were something to be scared about, but somehow he must have found a way to control his blood-lust. If the legends were true, that is. The most probable solution to my problem with understanding his strangeness was that he was just that: strange. There were many illogical and gaping differences between any legend I'd ever heard about vampirism and reality, whatever reality really was.

He and his family most likely had a gene defect and very hard bones plus cold skin. Maybe the doctor hadn't lied and his hands weren't always this cold. Maybe Edward's hands were cold because he was fearful for my life? Maybe, I was just paranoid.

The differences in their outward appearance could be genetic, again. Possibly, the myths on vampires were even based on people like them, whom society didn't quite understand, but didn't dare to ask about. Prejudices came to be this way: Someone judged another person based on observations or other people's opinion, not on knowing them personally.

My spinning thoughts were disturbed at once when I heard someone argue right in front of my door, though. "Listen to me! You are not going in there! I talked to her already and she understands that I can't tell her.", Edwards voice sounded in an angry, hushed whisper. They apparently didn't know that the door to my room wasn't sound-proof like most others or were under the impression that I was fast asleep. Funny that he didn't know, his father was a doctor here and he had brought me to my room himself. Hadn't he heard the nurses passing outside my door earlier? I could hear their conversation, or rather argument, as clearly as if they were standing in my very room.

"I thought you confirmed her suspicions and promised to tell her! Now you'll have to tell her eventually, as much as you're opposed to the idea. I can feel that she won't let this go easily! What were you thinking? Exposing us like this, but not following through? I didn't like your idea of letting her think she'd imagined things. That would've kept her quiet, though it would have been dangerous on her mental health. Even she thought that!", the other voice argued in a slightly louder voice. I didn't recognize him at all, but it had to be one of Edward's siblings due to their familiarity with each other and with the secret involving their whole family.

"I only had her well-being in mind!", Edward defended himself, actively interrupting his brother. There was a pause and suddenly he spoke again. "I know that. Dilemma doesn't even begin to cover it!" The other person interrupted him quickly. According to my assumption about him being part of the Cullen family, it had to be the shy, curly-haired blonde or the intimidatingly muscular, more outgoing one.

"Would you let me phrase my thoughts in my own words for once? You know that I don't like your snooping around when I'm angry!", one of the brothers yelled, though in a hushed tone. The two of them were quite opposite in complexion and behavior. Blonde and dark hair, lean and muscular, shy and outgoing. Brothers couldn't be more different. This one paused for a moment while Edward muttered "Fine" and then continued. I wondered which one it was.

"You care for her and you can't stay away. All of us consider leaving the last option, too. We've been here for such a short period of time, it would be a waste. But if she finds out herself, without proper guidance as to the matter of us being not harmful at all, it would be too late to leave. We'd have to silence her and no one wants that, especially not you or me.

"Your idea of leaving her in the dark backfired, too. She's a clever one and not easily afraid, so she will figure it out. The only question is when. Since she associates with the Quileutes, it'll be sooner rather than later. You know that. You also know that one of us has to tell her. And though you know her the best, you still oppose to telling her? She probably has most of it figured out already. You don't want to tell her, I'll do it. Where's the problem with that?", he inquired. Edward didn't answer his question at first, so he added full of mock humor "I'm finished with arranging my thoughts into a proper little speech. You may answer now."

Finally, Edward answered "She doesn't trust either one of us and you the least. You didn't even talk to her yet! Now is just not the right moment." Again, a pause. "You could try that, but I highly doubt it'll work.", he seemed to answer an unspoken question.

"Fine. But I still don't like it.", Edward's voice sounded again. "Yeah, okay, I know. I'm familiar with your thoughts on the matter. Trial is okay, but we don't need error!"

It really confused me how I didn't know the other person's behavior. Maybe his face was as easily readable as mine, but I couldn't follow the last piece of conversation at all. The first part had at least informed me that there really was a secret and that Edward wasn't the only one who found it disturbing and also dangerous to have others know.

His brother had unknowingly confirmed my suspicions that Edward had never meant for me to know their secret. _Just wait and see, I will find out!, _I thought as the people in front of my door walked away. One of them lingered a little while longer than the other, but then abruptly left.

I only now understood that Edward's brother had been planning on telling me their secret this very minute and lingered behind just now considering to confide in me. If only Edward hadn't caught him in the first place! I would have known by now which brother it was and I'd know the blasted secret!

I still cursed my bad luck while I endured my last visitors. Okay, there weren't too many of them because the hospital had a policy called '4 a day' that was usually dreaded; but very welcome to me in my current state of confusion and exhaustion. They made exceptions for large families, though. Since I didn't have a large extended family, this generosity luckily didn't apply to me.

Since Dr. Cullen had insisted on counting his son as a regular visitor and Charlie and Jacob had already visited, only one more visitor was allowed. So it was actually just one more visit that I spent pondering on the past argument. It was by a devastated Tyler. He said almost the same things Charlie had stated earlier, being: Tyler was an idiot, Tyler should be arrested, Tyler had almost murdered me, I got so lucky (which he was glad about), he was so sorry.

I totally understood his urge to apologize. After all, I didn't want to be in his place. I'd rather have a leg injury and confusing thoughts about myths and the supernatural than live with his guilt. The other students and my father had probably already given him a hard time about the incident. Though I understood his concern and guilt, I couldn't take it any longer. So I settled on letting him off the hook .

"Look, Tyler, I know you didn't do this on purpose. It was just an unlucky incident. It would have taken a Physics professor to calculate that your van would slip and slitter into the parking lot. You couldn't even really see me." When he tried to protest, I silenced him.

"Yeah, I know that you were being reckless with the new van, but don't go on the whole guilt trip because of it. I know that you never meant me harm and you hardly caused me any. I could as well have slipped on the wet lot, so don't worry. Please. I forgive you, so forgive yourself for my sake.", I finished tiredly. And surprisingly enough, Tyler did as I said. He nodded, his troubled face calmed down and he smiled. "My car isn't even damaged. It really is a wonder that nothing worse happened. You seem to have your own angel of protection."

_Named Edward? No, I don't think so. He was fate's tool, maybe._

With this being said, he apologized once again, but then left me alone. Finally! It wasn't long until I surrendered to a deep, dream-less sleep, even with all the confusion going on today. All the happenings had taken a toll on me. The most enjoyable part of the day had actually been the drive to school and when Jacob had visited me. He was always good company and seemed to know, somehow, when the time for serious conversation or for playing around was.

The rest had been bad. The expectation of death, the attention, the leg injury. Immediately followed by many visits, mysteries, blaming Tyler and dealing with guilt. The argument had been too much for my brain to take.

Who was the mysterious brother?

…

**Who do think the mysterious brother is? Please review and let me know what you think about my changes I made on Edward's behavior!**


	15. Dreaded Attention And Two Saviors

Chapter 15: Dreaded Attention And Two SaviorsBPOV

Luckily, they released me the next morning. Though the hospital protected me from the unwanted attention that would necessarily await me at school, I was ready to go home. I wouldn't miss the stale smell of the disinfectant, that much was for sure.

Dr. Cullen re-bandaged my leg one last time and put it in a brace. When Edward had thrown me to the ground in order to save me from Tyler's van, I had somehow managed to twist my ankle, thus the need for one. The concrete had also scraped up the skin on the right side, from my ankle up to my hip.

Therefore I had been careful not to let Jacob see my leg. I hadn't lied: Only my leg was injured and I wasn't in pain at that moment. I just couldn't walk, but he didn't have to know that immediately. Never one for worrying people, I had decided to keep my leg under the blanket. Just Charlie knew about it. I couldn't very well keep this from him- he was my father, after all. The whole school would know soon, but I couldn't very well prevent that from happening.

I was to wear the leg brace for the next few days. Since it was the only thing keeping me away from being free, I had gladly accepted it. Therefore, I was now doomed to be attention's magnet once again. Everyone would feel the need to express their opinion on Tyler and to pity me, anyways.

This need would undoubtedly increase further if anyone so much as glanced at the brace. It was inconspicuous enough: white, small, easy to hide under a stocking. I just couldn't wear shoes over it! Thus, it'd be screaming 'Look at poor, hurt me!' for everyone to notice. At least I didn't need crutches, for they would be way embarrassing. I still had to limp, though, in order to make my way around. I was to return to the hospital for a check-up on Friday and hopefully Dr. Cullen would take the blasted thing off.

When Charlie picked me up at nine a.m. sharp, he looked worried. But apparently he knew better than to openly pity me. Sometimes he seemed to know me better than I did myself. He was pretty quiet during the drive, only occasionally disrupting the silence to ask about hospital fool and such. I had wanted to leave as soon as possible.

At home I somehow managed to hobble up the steps and halted just past my room's treshhood. I had really missed the colors and the familiar designs while among the all-white hospital. I took them all in, memorizing them into my heart. This room had once again become home for me, even if I had only spent a few weeks here.

The recent near-death experience had taught me one thing: One should really enjoy what one had and appreciate the bird in the hand while one had it, figuratively speaking. I could still yearn for the two birds in the bushes, though.

Yesterday's incident had left me with a brand-new sense of appreciation for those around me and the wonders of life. Life was indeed beautiful. However did we get so lucky as to have a planet with oxygen, water and all the right temperatures and nutrients on it? Without the water's unusual and, plainly stated, wicked attributes, life hadn't ever been possible. Earth's beauty was an added bonus, unnecessary for survival but wonderful to look at.

With a startle I realized that I didn't have a lot of real friends here. Jessica and Angela I hardly knew, Edward seemed to change his mind about me every five seconds. There wasn't anyone else whom I regularly associated with at school. Maybe Mike, but he just saw me as a potential future girlfriend, I was sure. There was only Jacob. I there and then decided to change my solitude. I was going to find some friends.

If I ever were to become a doctor in Forks- though I wasn't planning on becoming one- I would suggest painting the rooms in friendlier colors. Life was too short to spent it in white, scary rooms. I hadn't been on the brink of death, but I wished anyone who was to die there more pleasant surroundings as a last impression of earth.

How could you find your internal peace surrounded by white and technical equipment? They couldn't remove the tools, but painting the rooms was a possibility. Plants were not hygienic enough for a hospital, though they would have done wonders for its atmosphere. Maybe I should have suggested this to the doctor earlier. Though...maybe they wanted to bore their patients away? There weren't too many rooms available, after all.

I used the rest of the day for a quiet and thoughtful hobble around the garden and lots of quality time with Charlie. I had always taken him more or less for granted. Never had I taken the time and consideration to actively find out about his past or his character. I only had subconscious observations and memories to rely on. Thus, I spent my afternoon changing this fact by asking him some subtle questions about his past.

"Hey, dad?" I asked in the middle of our already interesting conversation about the past at lunch. When he nodded at me, since he couldn't speak past the lasagna in his mouth, I continued. "You never told me anything about high school! I don't even know if you went out for football and what kind of guy you were!"

"Hmm, hmm..", he acknowledged me, chewed his food some more and finally answered after having had a deliberate sip of his iced tea. "You know that you mom is the more talkative one. Never felt the need to bring up the old stories. Well. You know I like to watch football, but that's about as much as I've ever done involving non-round balls. I had a thing for soccer in high school, but there aren't as many goals shot, so I grew bored of it. You wouldn't remember me watching any soccer, you were too small" He smiled. "So, were you in the school's team?" I asked excitedly.

"I didn't try out until my Sophomore year. I was always too scared that I wouldn't make it and of the toll it would take upon my free time. But then I discovered that soccer is my free time anyways, even without being on the team, so why waste a perfectly good opportunity? Some of my friends played, too."

"Why don't we have a soccer team anymore?", I wanted to know. "It was quite unusual back then. Soccer is more of a European or South American game. But the US play in the World Championship and our principal got infected with enthusiasm. He's European, you know. German, I think. It was his big dream to send some players into the national team.", Charlie explained.

"And when he left, they gave up the project because there were fewer players without his encouragement?", I guessed. Charlie just nodded in response. "It was sad. I was thinking about trying out for assistant coach the year principal Schroeder left the school."

"You would've made a great coach, I'm sure." I got up from my chair and hugged him from behind. Usually, I wasn't one for displaying affection and Charlie even less. But the events of the past day and his story made it seem appropriate.

"I love you, too, Bella."

…...

Though I dreaded school, I decided to attend the next day. They wouldn't kill me, I was sure, and putting it off wouldn't lessen the unpleasantness. Since my head wasn't hurt, hadn't gone into shock and didn't have other serious injuries, there was no medical reason for not going. So I followed Renee's old advice regarding taking off plasters: "Do it fast and don't think about the pain. Then you will hardly notice."

Therefore, I decided to be brave and make my mommie proud. I was gonna do this.

I wasn't so sure anymore when I clumsily tried to climb out of my truck's relatively high seat upon reaching the school building. Luckily, I was still able to drive having injured my left leg. Bless my father for having bought a truck with automatic gear-shift! I would have had to have him drive me to school, adding to my embarrassment.

I didn't like the dependency on others that this darn leg brace put me into. I was lucky to be able to drive and being able to enter my truck on my own. If my dad would've had to heave me into the truck's back seat and drive me to school like a fifth grader, I would've died from the shame of it. He would've been late for work because of me and without his police cruiser, too.

Usually I would just jump down from the seat, but that wasn't an option with the brace. I frustratedly stared at the ground for a while and cursed myself for not bringing a ladder. Then I settled on a slow and painful climb down, turning around and holding on to the head rest.

My 'good' foot dangled almost all the way to the ground, but I just couldn't reach it! I almost screamed in frustration- the ground was cursed three feet away at the most!- when someone grabbed me by the waist and gently sat me down.

"Let me help you with that. I didn't know you were that badly injured. They said you looked okay...", a familiar voice said. I couldn't quite tell who the speaker was, though. "It's just the leg, everything else is okay." So the entire school was talking about me, apparently. Great.

Slowly I turned around, a curious expression on my face. I was instantly shocked. "Who...?" was all I was able to bring out. He was one of the Cullens, the shy one, whom I never thought of as being the one to help girls out of their cars. I didn't even know his name. He had always seemed very quiet and introvert, not at all like he would ever even look at someone outside of his family. Why in the world did he decide to talk to me?

"Oh, sorry, I'm Jasper Cullen. I hope you don't think I'm rude now. I was going to tell Edward to help you down since you know him better, but he wasn't around. Sorry, I just couldn't stand letting you dangle in mid-air any longer." An apologetic smirk spread on his face. He seemed nice enough, so I decided to let it go.

"It's okay. I wouldn't have made it down there on my own in time for class, anyway. So thanks, I guess." I should probably have felt awkward standing there with a complete stranger who had just lifted me out of my car without a warning. For some reason, I didn't. "Maybe give me a fair warning next time?"

"Sure." Jasper laughed. I noticed his dimples then. He looked like a person one could have a lot of fun with. No gloating glances, no beating around the bush like his brother. I wondered why he was the one of the three who seemed to be the shiest because he really didn't have a reason to. Why oh why did his brother have to hate me? They really were a weird family.

Since I had decided upon appreciating life and the chances it offered, I included him in my inner circle of potential future friends.

I grabbed my books, locked the truck and turned back around to Jasper. "I really didn't hear you approaching me. What's up with all of you being so quietly walking?", I asked out of pure curiosity. I had noticed that of Edward, too.

"I guess that it has to do with our numerous hunting and camping trips. Whenever the weather is good, we go camping in the mountains with the whole family.", he explained.

"Well, that can't be too often, right? Sun in Forks is as much of a phenomenon as snow in Phoenix.", I sighed. I was looking forward to the snow, but I still missed the sun. "It's better than the rainforest, though, they have the same weather every single day. It is sunny in the morning, humid in the afternoon and there's a thunderstorm in the evening. Better to have snow and some sun disrupting the routine, right?", Jasper said, sensing my discomfort with the local weather.

I had to agree to that and smiled back at him. "Yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to the snow. I'd like at least three feet, to celebrate living here. They all told me what a terrible choice of a place to live this was, but I actually came to like it. Maybe I'm just accustomed now, but I do.", I joked.

"We do have lots of snow here with all the humidity. You already know that, though, I reckon. You have probably spent a bigger part of your life here than I have.", Jasper admitted as we started walking toward the building. "Hand me your books. Limping is hard enough as it is, so don't you dare complain or decline my offer" Hesitantly, I handed them to him. He really was a gentleman. Talking about the weather had never been more fun.

"Thanks. So you're new here, too?", I asked. Being new would explain why they kept to themselves. Maybe they were afraid of advances of their fellow students, too. I was still a little shaken by all the flirting boys here, too, and I wasn't almost as good-looking as them. Most of them were coupled up, too.

"We've been here for a few years. It's enough to know your way around school and town. We live fairly far away from Forks. We came down here all the way from Alaska. Somehow I miss the snow. Just look a yonder: Everywhere everything is green." Funnily, I heard a Southern twang just as he explained that he was from Alaska. But since the younger Cullens were all adopted, he could've been born somewhere completely else. Maybe Texas?

"That's exactly what I keep thinking. What would I give for a little brown and red here or there?", I wondered. "I guess too much", Jasper answered thoughtfully. Suddenly his mood seemed to change. "What's your first class? I'll walk you there so you won't have to carry all of this", he waved with my books.

"Wait.", he said when I wanted to answer and his eyes brightened. "I'll find out. I've got all the evidence right here with me." A mischievous smile spread on his face and he examined my books. "So... It is Tuesday. Biology and P.E. are after lunch. That leaves me with English and American History. English?", he guessed.

"Yeah. You should become a private detective. Really!"

"I was rather thinking... Oh, I don't know yet. Something with history. I would absolutely love to major in the American Civil War's history. It sometimes feels as though I've been there. But what to become with a degree in history?" Jasper seemed a little sad as we turned the last corner to my English class. To take his mind off of whatever saddened him, I change the subject to less personal questions.

"What do you have first hour?"

"English." He smiled. "There's another English class first hour? Looks like I'm oblivious...", I concluded.

"No."

"Then how come...?" I was dumbstruck by his answer.

"I'm in your English class, Bella. In the very back and keeping quiet, talking about oblivious. Maybe I'm not qualified for being a detective, just more observant than you." Jasper shot ahead of me, left my books on my desk in the front row- the only one that had been free- smiled at me and plopped down in the back before I could utter another word.

I was at once surrounded by worried classmates as soon as I entered the room. Some seemed to want to know all about the accident to gossip about it, but mostly, my classmates were sincerely concerned. I still didn't like how they grouped themselves around my table and all tried to help me at the same time. I plastered a pained smile on my face, though, and endured it. I even told them my side of the whole story and about my injuries. "Don't blame him. It was an accident and not his fault.", I occasionally defended Tyler.

Suddenly, Angela came to my rescue. "Okay, okay, people. Maybe you should let her some room to breathe. You surely need some rest, right?" She winked at me and I played along. "The doctor said that I shouldn't bothered too much and rest often. Thanks, Angela." After her intervention the others left me mostly alone during class. Angela really was a nice girl, I noticed. Another potential future friend. My list kept getting longer yet.

Angela passed me a note a few minutes into the lecture.

'Did you know that Tyler is taking you to the fall dance? AW'

I looked at her, an incredulous expression on my face. It must have been enough to answer her question. I didn't even know that there was going to be a fall dance, leave alone when. 'Oh my.', she mouthed.

Yeah, oh my goodness... Obviously I was oblivious. Great.

I hadn't taken a lot of time to get to know all the other students and their classes. I had only paid attention to those whose names I knew, too preoccupied by my thoughts about Edward and by missing Renee.

I had overlooked that Jasper was in my English class and not at all introvert. I had overlooked that Tyler was determined to take me to the fall dance.

What else had I missed?

…

**What do you think about this exceptionally long chapter? Please let me know!**


	16. Since When Do We Have A Fall Dance?

Chapter 16: Since When Do We Have A Fall Dance?BPOV

With Angela's help, I somehow survived my first day back at school. She carried half of my books to the locker with me and even filled me in on the fall dance during lunch. "We have a fall dance?", I asked her. Angela, still chewing, only nodded and smiled. "And Tyler has himself convinced that he's taking me of all people?" Another nod. "How come? He didn't even ask me yet!", I protested.

Finally, Angela answered my pending question. "I guess he feels guilty for almost running you over. So he wants to make it up to you by giving you the time of your life." She grinned conspiratorially and turned her voice to a whisper. "Besides, I think he might have a crush on you. Your forgiveness obviously impressed him."

I groaned. "Is he even going to ask me? Or is it just democratically decided among the male population?"

"Well. It _is _a girl's choice... So he technically can't even ask you. If you don't ask anyone out in time, he'll just assume you're waiting for the guys to ask or that you won't mind." She winked. "So you better ask someone. You got anyone in mind yet?"

I did, actually. "I'm not sure yet. But it won't be any of the guys anyone expects me to bring." I grinned as Angela raised an eyebrow. She seemed to be so curios that it was hard for her to reign in her excitement. I knew she wouldn't tell anyone who my potential date was without my consent. Trustworthiness just radiated off of her, but there were other people in the room whom I wasn't so sure about.

Lauren for example was concentrating on the wall in front of her rather too hard and seemed to be straining her ears to pick up on our conversation. Therefore, I whispered to Angela, "Later, okay? I don't want _everyone", _I shot Lauren an obvious and dirty glance, "to know about this before the deal is sealed."

Angela knew better than to ask me about my choice again during lunch. We ate in comfortable silence, her pondering who I was planning on taking and me considering how to take care of my little problem with Tyler. I really didn't want to embarrass or expose him. When we finally left the cafeteria a good while before the bell would ring- both of us had eaten faster than usual- I brought the subject up again.

"Have you ever been to La Push?", I timidly started. "Yeah, they have a great beach there. Why? Oh, I get it!", Angela exclaimed. "You're thinking about asking one of the guys from the rez? They are pretty gorgeous." She giggled and I had to agree. "Yeah." I blushed.

"Jacob is the son of a friend of the family. He's the guy I've gotten to know the best and he is really sweet. I just don't know if he wants to go!" I was really desperate. I didn't even know if he liked to dance. I in fact loved it, but dancing didn't love me. What if I stepped on his toe or fell down face first? Or worse, what if he declined my offer because he didn't want to go with _me?_

"Why wouldn't he? Our fall dance is always great and he probably doesn't have another chance to attend being from another school and all. It is still a week and a half away so he can't really have other plans. And besides, who wouldn't want to take you to a dance?", she encouraged me. I hmpf-ed. Wait. The fall dance was Friday next week? I still didn't have a dress, a date or shoes. As if she had read my thoughts, Angela spoke again.

"The two of us should go dress shopping together! I don't have a date yet either, but I'm planning on changing that...", she admitted. "With whose help?"

"I was going to ask Erik. I've had a crush on him for a while now..." She blushed. _I'm not the only one with that annoying habit!_ Though it did look cute on her.

"Well, I'm sure he'd love to go with you. He seemed a little constipated around you today, so don't worry. I'm sure he was about to ask you to the dance with him, but got a little scared in the last minute."

Angela smiled a brilliant smile that seemed to brighten the whole hallway. They would make a great couple: Both of them were honest, trustworthy and seldom the center of attention. I couldn't imagine Angela dating someone like Mike who was constantly bragging and boasting . She needed someone calmer and Erik seemed to be smitten with her, too, though he obviously tried not to let it on. He was failing miserably.

If Angela could ask Erik, I was going to ask Jacob. And if he didn't want to, I'd just go with Tyler on a friendly basis. I was rather for option number one, though.

During Biology I pointedly ignored Edward. He didn't know that I overheard their conversation, but I had and I couldn't undo it. I just couldn't really trust him anymore. Who knew what other lies he had told or would tell me for my own good? He didn't know me halfway well enough to decide what was supplementing my well-being.

I didn't even know myself well enough most of the time, so how did he get the idea that he knew what was good for me? Well, maybe he did indeed know what would be best. But he could've let me decide among my options. It was rude and arrogant to take my choices away from me without telling me what they were.

I had no idea why he chose the option 'Lying to Bella' but that it was 'for my own well-being'. When I had played that very same card and brought up my mental health, he had acted against it. I found that I had every reason in the world to be angry with him. He wasn't playing fair at all.

Edward tried to talk to me a few times probably sensing my irritation with him. He asked me if I was feeling better and I just nodded and then continued staring at the board. Upon closer inspection it had really interesting specks of chalk on it.

"I heard that you're going to the fall dance with Tyler?", Edward nonchalantly tried to make conversation again. How come he was so talkative all of a sudden?

I shook my head in denial. If I could help it, he wouldn't be taking me.

"Are you angry with him?" Very slowly and deliberately, I moved my head from one shoulder to the other and put on my 'annoyed' face. Sadly, it didn't serve its purpose in scaring him away from picking up his one-sided conversation again. I wasn't angry with _Tyler!_

"He probably forgot that this is a girl's choice, the poor boy." Edward didn't seem sorry at all. He was rather enjoying himself.

My eyes shot daggers at him and I cursed the day I ever decided to sit next to him. Why couldn't he just stop talking to me like nothing was wrong and let me be angry with him? I couldn't even count on the teacher to reprimand him because he usually was such an attentive student that no one cared if he decided to talk once during class. Why did once have to be today?

"Are you angry at me?", Edward suddenly asked after a longer period of silence on my part. I gave him a short nod. "May I know why?", he inquired and I shook my head again. I didn't want to discuss the conversation I had overheard now, during Biology, or ever. It just didn't seem right.

Then I nodded, suddenly changing my mind in a last-minute decision. We would have to talk about this eventually, so why prolong the inevitable? I would just finish my day of ignoring Edward and we could talk afterward.

Finally, Edward seemed to take the hint and quit asking me questions I wouldn't fully answer. I could spent the rest of the hour happily despising his decision.

…...

When the long-dreaded first day back was finally over, I spent a full half an hour staring at my cell phone. I was contemplating whether or not to call Jacob and ask him to come to the fall dance with me on the phone rather than in person. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if he declined to come with me if he weren't able to see the disappointment written across my face. I knew that it would be as easily readable as always.

In the end I made my decision, picked up the cell phone, looked up his number in the address book and hit the little green button.

After a few rings, he picked up. "Yeah?"

"Jacob?" I was still a little scared and very nervous. "Who else?" Jacob laughed huskily. I could almost imagine seeing his face lighting up with his smile. "What's up, Bells? How's your leg?" He had actually guessed that it was me by my voice!

Oh, wait. His phone had probably told him because he saved my number.

"It's better, but still not as it used to be. You can't expect wonders in a day, can you?" I sighed. "Anyways..." Pulling together all my courage, I finally asked him my rehearsed question.

"Do you want to hang out tomorrow afternoon?"

I had decided against asking him to something as important as the fall dance on the phone. It was so much less personal. And if he were to tell me 'no', I at least wanted to know if he honestly told me his reasons. My face was easily readable, but I prided myself for having good intuition, as well. Had I not known that Edward was lying about telling me the truth eventually?

One painfully long fifth of a second I thought he was going to laugh at me or hang up, but then Jacob finally answered.

"Sure, sure. When and where?"

…

**Here it is: My fastest update ever! I hope you like it.**

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	17. Technical Knock Out

Chapter 17: Technical Knock OutJPOV

Anxiously, I stalked into the kitchen once again to check the time. I was still ten minutes early! If I was at the beach long before the time we had decided upon, I might seem overly excited. Okay, I was. But there was no need for Bella to know that.

Sighing, I grabbed the blanket, a bottle of water and a bag of chips. My eagerness had apparently won over my pride. Technical knock out in round two.

I had almost skipped my way to school this morning because I was so happy. Bella had actually called me and asked me if I wanted to hang out today. Why did she even have to ask? I thought that it was obvious that I wanted to hang out with her whenever I could.

Her call had shown me that she wasn't annoyed by me and my visit in the hospital. She didn't seem to think that I was weird for telling her ancient legends as a diversion. She obviously didn't consider my visit at the hospital too much too soon. I just felt as if I had known her for a long time and I hadn't know if she felt the same way. Thus, I was terribly glad that she still sought my presence after I freaked her out at the hospital.

I was just setting out the blanket at a worn out piece of driftwood that would hopefully shelter us from the wind, when she showed up. It was almost a scene from one of those girl movies my sisters used to watch. She walked down the beach slowly, coolly, while I froze and wasn't able to pry my eyes away from her.

Bella was so darn beautiful in her yellow sundress. Her long, silky hair bounced with her energetic steps and swung in the gentle breeze and her face shone with her smile. It was a breathtaking sight and I tried to commit it into my memory.

It was one of the moments I wanted to put into an empty jar, to open it whenever I felt the need to and relive the contained memory.

Without my consent my hand raised itself and waved at her. I was grinning so hard that it felt as though my face was splitting in halves. Whatever, I had a reason to be in a good mood, so why not show it?

Bella waved back, smiled even wider and stopped in front of me.

"Hey", I whispered. Why was I whispering?

Suddenly, Bella seemed to be nervous, too. "Hi", she simply answered and stared at her toes.

She stood awkwardly on the beach and it looked like she didn't know what to say. Trying to save her from her own uncertainty I asked her "Why don't you sit down? The sand is unusually soft today" I patted the blanket next to me and hoped she would follow suit.

The smile on her face came back and she sat down next to me. "You even brought my favorite potato chips!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know they were your favorites, but I'm glad. Did you bring your swimsuit?" I had already changed into my shorts. Lately, I was seldom cold and today was a nice day, so I had discarded my shirt and shoes.

Bella pulled the straps of her sundress to the side and pointed at the brown fabric underneath. "Got it right here. No need to ask you where yours is hidden, right?" She laughed indicating the general direction of my shorts with her head.

"I got so lucky that Dr. Cullen allowed me to take off the brace so I could walk around freely and go swimming, most importantly of all."

I grinned, caught up in her joy, but then realization dawned on me. "Wait. You didn't tell me you had a brace and that you couldn't walk."

"Umm..." Bella blushed a lovely shade of pink. "I was kind of planning on not telling you, but it looks like I just messed up royally.", she admitted.

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have agreed to the whole swimming thing if you hadn't kept this from me!" I was furious at myself for not thinking about her leg.

"Which is exactly why I didn't tell you.", she answered plainly. "Seriously, I want to go and the doctor gave me the go-ahead. You shouldn't blame yourself and ruin our nice day at the beach."

Damn. She was right. I was an idiot.

"Darn. You are right. Sorry."

"It's okay. It wasn't supposed to come off until next week Friday because he couldn't really feel my sinews or see them on the x-ray with all the swelling. I went to have him re-check it just in case he could feel them this time and apparently, I got lucky. It would've been awful if I'd had to wear it until then. Imagine me in a pretty dress, one high heel and one _leg brace!_ I can't even dance with two of them stilettos!" Bella complained me.

They were going to have a dance next week? Why didn't I know about this?

"You have a formal next week?", I asked casually and she nodded in affirmation. "That's cool! Who're you going with? Probably some gallant and handsome senior, right?" Winking, I acted as if I was joking, but deep inside I was serious.

She was wonderful enough to deserve a great date for her first formal dance here in Forks. Just why, oh why couldn't I be some handsome senior from her school? I wanted to see her in her dress so badly it hurt. I wanted to hold her and twirl her around and never let her go.

Wait.

Shit.

I just now realized that I had a crush on the most beautiful, graceful and compassionate girl that Forks had ever seen. Being some lanky _kid_ from the rez in the general opinion, that meant that I was in deep shit. There wasn't the slightest chance that she liked me as more than a friend.

"Actually, no one has asked me out yet because it's a girls' choice. But Angela told me that Tyler, the guy who almost ran me over with his brand-new van, has himself convinced that I am going with him." Bella gave me a slightly exasperate sigh.

"I forgave him, we're good, but I don't want to go with him. I had someone else in mind." She turned a little bit so that she was facing me completely. Her eyes were sparkling in the sunlight and I felt myself drowning in their depth.

"Whom?", I asked breathlessly. I couldn't look anywhere but into her eyes. They were so full of warmth and trust, for me of all people.

"I was going to ask you."

My heart was beating frantically. Surely I had misunderstood her and she knew a guy named 'Loop' or 'Jules'.

"Wha.. What did you just say?", I sputtered.

"Earth to Jacob! You and me. To the fall dance. Together?" She slowly, carefully asked again.

"Me?" I was too shocked to react accordingly.

"Do you see another Jacob around?" Bella seemed to be amused.

I looked around. "No. To the dance? With you?" She wanted me to be her date for the fall dance! I was doing a mental victory dance, but I had to have her reassurance.

"Look, if you don't want to go with someone who really thought you were her friend to help her out, just tell her and get it over with, okay?" Her face fell and she turned away from me. She was talking about herself.

Crap.

I had just successfully knocked myself out of the game again with my own stupidity. She needed me to go to a dance with her as her friend so she wouldn't have to go with the beserk with the car or all alone and the only thing I was thinking about was: 'Wow. She wants me to be her date!'

She obviously didn't think about this as a date. Screw my mind for those assumptions.

"Bells, honey, look at me." She shook her head no, so I gently put my fingers under her chin and lifted it to meet her gaze. Her eyes were soft and shining with moisture. It hurt me to the very core of my being that I was the reason for her sadness.

"I really want to go with you. Every guy in the whole school will probably turn green with jealousy because I get to go to the dance with you. I just couldn't believe you would ask me of all people." There it was. The truth.

'I'm not the perfect guy who should be taking you', I mentally added. I couldn't even tell her 'yes' the right way!

"You are the only friend I have so far. And you look like you have an excellent lead" Bella's eyes were still a little sad, but she was already up for a little joke. "I'll try my best not to step on your precious toes."

"I'm really glad that you asked me. Luckily I already have a tux at hand and won't have to go shopping on such a short notice."

"And I'm glad that I asked you. This way, I won't have Tyler breaking my arm." Both of us started laughing. " You'd better not break my arm either!", she added in a mock warning.

I gave her an encouraging smile. "I won't. Am I permitted to see your dress before next week Friday?" I was really excited about her dress. She always looked great, but the sundress had demonstrated that dresses underlined her beauty even better.

"Of course you can't!" She seemed offended. "That would be ruining the surprise! Besides, I haven't even bought one yet. I'll go dress-shopping with Angela this weekend. If I don't die from pent-up anger at Cullen, that is. He's such an idiot!"

It was quite cute to see her angry, but maybe that was because her wrath wasn't directed at me. I had never liked Edmund, anyways, so maybe I was just enjoying that she didn't, either.

"What has he done this time? Saved you from a bobby pin?" I was only teasing her to get rid of the tension, but my question seemed to enrage her further.

"That would save the prat right. He seems to consider himself my personal bodyguard now." A sound surprisingly close to a low growl escaped her and she scowled at a rock in the sand. I was feeling quite sorry for the poor thing...

"You know that I thought he would never tell me the truth about this stupid, supposedly harmful secret? He had the nerve to confirm that to his brother right in front of my hospital room's door. I confronted him today after a day of being demonstrative ignoring him. Guess what he told me?" Her voice was laced with sarcasm. I didn't even have the time to string together an appropriate reply- I really had no idea what he had told her- when she answered her own rhetorical question.

"He told me that I was right. He even possessed the bluntness to smile at me! I'm quoting now." Bella made quotation signs with her hands whenever he had used a word or phrase she didn't like.

"You don't have to understand everything, Bella. I'm only doing this for the safety of my family and for your own good. You will not tell anyone about this. They won't believe you anyways. I know the truth and that is enough to know that you need to be protected from it. I'm not going to let it harm you." She grumbled a little while I frowned. Cullen really was an idiot.

"How dare he tell you what to do? You aren't his five year old daughter! I thought he didn't even know you all that well!", I encouraged her little rant. I wanted to know more about their stand-off.

"Yeah. Exactly. I told him to quit telling me what was good for me without at least giving me the options. And I told him that I heard him and his brother talking about me. He was all like 'I can't believe you eavesdropped on me and Emmett. That was a private conversation'. He seemed to be shocked, his face turned mask-like and just left me standing in the hallway without another explanation." She huffed in frustration.

"That is so rude! You really deserve better than being left in the hall after he deliberately broke his promise to you. He should've apologized at least!", I supported her. That guy needed someone to tell him to mind his manners. Maybe I would set him right!

"What are you going to do about the whole thing? You don't seem to be a quitter..." I didn't want her to give up on this secret. I was very curious about it, too, and wanted Edmund to be taught a lesson. I needed Bella's consent and help, though.

"I might ask Jasper Cullen about it, but I don't think that he'll tell me. He is so much nicer than his brother, but I don't think that I can ask him yet. I have only talked to him once..."

She seemed deep in thought for a while. "I'll definitely have to teach Cullen a lesson about honesty, keeping promises and free choice. I might need your help."

"Sure, sure..." I could feel an impish smile spreading on my face that mirrored Bella's. Cullen would be the one knocking himself out this time.

I was definitely up for that!

…

**He has a problem with names, doesn't he? **

**A double 'Yay!' for Bella! She really did it and asked Jake to the dance with her!**

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	18. An Imagined ? Almost Kiss

Chapter 18: An Imagined (?) Almost-kissBPOV

„Sure, sure", Jacob agreed to my plan. Edward needed a dose of his own medicine or at least a proper yelling at so that I could prove my point to him. He wouldn't leave me in the hallway or classroom again! I just needed someone who knew about the whole story to support me with the planning. My thoughts needed some sorting and I had to practice my tirade, too.

That's why I needed Jacob's help.

I also _wanted _it because he was my friend and I was in desperate need of talking these things off my chest. I just couldn't live with all the anger and the doubts on my mind any longer.

Having him as a friend was the best thing that had happened to me in Forks so far.

Could anyone else be a better friend?

I didn't think so.

I smiled a thankful smile at Jacob. He was always so supportive. And Angela had definitely been right: He was pretty good looking...

Because these thoughts were getting me nowhere, I jumped to my feet, took off my sundress and started running- as fast as I could with my still slightly swollen, but now officially undamaged ankle- towards the shore. When I was halfway there I turned around to yell back at him. "Hey, aren't you up for some swimming?"

Jacob's mouth was slightly opened in shock and he shook his head a little before he slowly got up and ran after me. By the time he reached the water, I was already in waist-deep. "That just wasn't fair! How am I supposed to throw you in now?", he complained, but quickly followed me into the water.

"You could still splash water at me, you know.", I kindly informed him. As soon as I was swimming for my life because he had yelled 'Good idea!', it dawned on me that this statement hadn't been the wisest.

Jacob dove into the water headfirst and quickly caught up with me. He was a really good swimmer! He grabbed me by my 'good' ankle and pulled me back towards him. "Hey, you aren't getting away from the splashing you just demanded!" He chuckled and his eyes twinkled.

There was no way I would be able to escape him if he really didn't want me to get away, but maybe he was just fooling around. So I tried to twist out of his grip, but I didn't manage to. Jacob grinned at me like a madman. "Told you" He winked at me and then let go of my leg. "No attempts at flight now, okay?", he warned me and I smiled at him.

I couldn't get away from him if he didn't want me to, that much we had just established. I would just have to trust him not to drown me, but that wasn't a problem. I did trust him. He always seemed to be so trustworthy and so sure of himself. Except...

"Hey Jake. Why didn't you think I would ask you to the fall dance just now?"

"Um.. Well." He seemed to be embarrassed and looked down into the water. It wasn't deep enough for me not to be able to stand, so his torso was mostly out of the water. Water was dripping down from his hair onto his chest. I suddenly felt the urge he must have felt earlier. I wanted to put my hands on both sides of his face and make him look at me.

Jacob had lifted my chin and it had coaxed strange reactions out of me. My belly felt like it was doing somersaults. Maybe it was from nervousness about his answer, but maybe it was something completely else...

Finally, he answered. "I thought you'd ask some hot guy from school. The stereotypical senior I mentioned? I don't think that you're stereotypical, but you're such a wonderful and beautiful girl that you could take everyone you wanted to take. I'm just a friend of yours, so I didn't expect you to ask me of all people."

I was a little shocked at his admission. "What if I don't like stupid, hot seniors from my school? Obviously, I prefer your company. Why wouldn't I? You think about my well-being without forcing it upon me, you're honest and funny. What more can I ask my date for? You aren't exactly ugly, either, you know.", I defended him, but blushed at my words. Had I just almost called him hot? "Not that it's one of my criteria for the fall dance", I tried to correct my mistake.

"Um... Thanks. I'll keep that in mind for the next time you're asking" He grinned and suddenly splashed water at me. Obviously, I had him convinced of his worthiness. It just wasn't like him at all to have self-doubts and I couldn't stand it if he beat himself up. Having him self-assured again was worth the salty water I now had in my eyes. Luckily, I wasn't wearing any mascara.

"Hey!", I still complained and splashed back at him.

"Did you already forget that you suggested I splash you?", he asked me with mock seriousness.

"No. But I was hoping that you had forgotten by now. Maybe I should distract you.", I suggested and quickly voiced the first topic that came into my mind.

"Does your friend Quil always rudely stare at strangers?"

"It's complicated. Are you sure you really want to bother listening to this?" I nodded.

"He's behaving rather strangely these days. I think he joined a local gang or cult of some type. There's a guy called Sam who started changing like him about a year ago. He cut his hair, got a tattoo and dumped his girlfriend for her cousin. No one understands what it is that he's doing, but it scares the crap out of me, to tell you the truth." His face was concerned.

"I don't want to lose him as a friend, but he just won't open up to me or Embry any more. I think he was staring at me, not at you, so don't take it personally. But I still don't know why he's changed so much."

"Maybe you should talk to this Sam guy", I suggested. Jacob just nodded.

Sensing his bad mood, I decided for another distraction and started swimming towards the beach. "I really did distract you!" I laughed and splashed him again. "You'll figure this out", I encouraged him.

When I reached the dry sand, Jacob was running to catch me. When he was right behind me, he suddenly tackled me from behind and we both fell down. Yet he somehow managed to cushion the fall with his body so that I landed on top of him with a 'thump'. I was giggling and he was grinning. The atmosphere changed rapidly, though, when he realized that I was lying on top of him.

He rolled around so that I was on my back in the sand. It looked like he wanted to pull away, but then he was looming over me. Neither of us was laughing now. His hand went into my hair and his thumb rubbed across my cheekbone, which now felt like it was on fire. His other arm was supporting his weight. All the while he was keeping his eyes locked on mine. I felt a little lightheaded and dizzy, but most of all save and protected between his arms.

My heart was beating hard from his close proximity. My eyes were following a drop of water in its wake down his jawline and then returned to the dark pools that were his eyes. I lifted my hand to touch his cheek like I had wanted to do in the water. "Jake...", I breathed and suddenly, his face wasn't blocking the light anymore.

"I'm sorry", he explained sitting next to me, a little breathless himself. What had just happened? I thought he was going to kiss me, but now he apparently wasn't. Had I scared him away somehow? What was he sorry for?

"It's okay", I mumbled. Maybe he hadn't meant to...? That must've been it. And here I was, making false assumptions.

I shielded my eyes with my hand – the sun had magically made a reappearance after only two days- and awkwardly sat up. "Your back is all sandy", Jacob informed me and started gently rubbing it with his towel. His movements sent a tingle throughout my body although the sand was scratchy.

"You got some yourself" Just as I reached for the towel, he cleaned up his own back. "Now I'm glad I brought a blanket. Can't use this anymore, huh?" He let the towel dangle in front of my face. I smiled at him. Maybe this wouldn't be as awkward as I thought it would be.

Just a few seconds ago I had wished for the ground to split open and swallow me up whole, but I already felt comfortable. Jacob had a way of making me relax and be my true self, while Edward brought out the worst in me. I usually wasn't the girl for yelling and throwing a fit. Really.

"How about we use that blanket of yours and eat some yummy chips?", I suggested.

"Sure, that's a great idea!", he agreed.

I wouldn't ever bring up the almost-kiss again, I decided as we walked to the blanket together. Jacob seemed so comfortable with the whole situation. He probably didn't pay the situation any mind.

Or did he?

…

**What in the world was up with Jacob? **

**Vacation and reviews do wonders for my update speed, so please let me know what you think!**


	19. Everybody's Darling Said 'No!

Chapter 19: Everybody's Darling Said 'No'!BPOV

At night, I dreamt about the almost-kiss I had promised myself to forget. Only this time, it wasn't an _almost_-kiss. This time, he followed through and kissed me. Even in the dream it was fantastic. His lips scorched mine, he held me tight and I never wanted him to let go.

Past experiences with dreams had taught me that reality was always at least slightly better than imagined. I really wanted the dream to come true and it hurt when I realized that it was just that- a dream. Once again, I asked myself why Jacob hadn't kissed me.

Doubts? Was he unwilling to sacrifice our friendship for whatever it was that we were feeling? Or was he originally so caught up in the moment that he didn't realize that he didn't even feel anything for me going beyond friendship? Since I had promised myself never to bring up the situation for the sake of our friendship, I wouldn't ever know. Maybe heaven did.

…...

When I jumped down from my truck's seat at school the next morning- still carefully because I didn't want to jeopardize my ankle's non-swollen state- I saw Tyler already waiting for me a few feet away. He smiled at me, waved and approached my car.

"Hey Bella! How's your leg?" Tyler's face was cheery and he seemed to be in a good mood. It looked a lot like he was going to ask me to the dance, so I hated that I would have to smash his hopes. I frantically tried to think of someone else he could take.

"It's a lot better. I don't even have to wear the blasted brace any more." I was relieved about this fact. Otherwise, Jacob might not have almost kissed me yesterday.

"So, um... Did you hear about the fall dance next week?" He seemed a little nervous now. And I was right: He was going to ask.

"Yeah, sure. Did anyone ask you yet?", I tried to shorten our conversation by steering it towards the topic he had obviously wanted to address all along. "Um. No." He seemed to scramble for words for a while and I pretended not to notice.

"The dancing class starts next Monday and we're supposed to find our dates until then. The other guys are all asking out the shier girls today. In case they don't want to go, they can still ask someone else on Friday. Clever, huh?", he beat around the bush. I was silently waiting for him to continue and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Whom are you going to ask, then?", I helped him out.

"I almost ran you over the other day, so to show you my gratitude for forgiving me- among other reasons- I was going to ask you. You're new here, but I think I know you're really nice. I was going to save you from asking some idiot. Do you want to go to the fall dance with me?", he finally rambled.

"I kind of already asked someone, so I can't go with you. Maybe you should ask Jana, I know for a fact that she doesn't have a date yet. She looks like a good dancer, too." Hopefully, my help with finding him someone else would take his mind off being disappointed.

"Oh." His face fell. "You can tell me if you just don't want to go with me. I'm fine with that." A sympathetic smile plastered itself across his face.

"You're a nice guy, so I might have gone with you. But if you assume one more time that I don't have a date, I might change my assumption about you being nice", I threatened, but then laughed. "I'm kidding. And I really do have a date for the fall dance."

"Okay. Well, then I'll have to ask Jana. Sorry." With these words, Tyler stormed off towards the building.

While I was following him, there was a quiet voice behind me. "So, who are you going with?" I turned around slightly to see who it was. "Hi Jasper! How do you know about Tyler?" I was pretty surprised by his sudden appearance. I never heard any of them approaching! Maybe I should go hiking more often, too. As he fell into step next to me, Jasper answered.

"Hi to you, too! I'm just curious and you didn't tell Tyler when I accidentally eavesdropped on your conversation. I couldn't help it when I pulled in next to you. I only heard your last sentence, though." His smile was apologetic.

"I wasn't going to tell him because he won't know him anyways. He's not from this school, but an old friend of mine.", I explained.

"All the way from where came from when you moved in with your dad? Phoenix, I'm guessing?", he joked. I was a little shocked that apparently everyone knew about my past.

"News travels fast in a small town like Forks, doesn't it?", I said, but smiled so he would know I didn't begrudge him. "No, he's from La Push, so you won't know him."

Some type of emotion flittered across his face for the fraction of a second, but then it was gone. "You're probably right. I know some of the elder's relatives, though. But I'm not going to put you on trial like Tyler did." He laughed.

"He doesn't have a way with girls, I think. I'm kind of sorry for him. I heard about his hopes for taking me as a date before, so maybe I should've told him earlier. But then, I only secured the date yesterday and I would've gone with the first other guy who asked in case it hadn't worked out.", I admitted. "I don't want to show up alone."

"If a guy like Tyler were going to ask you then, I might have saved you from his terrible dancing skills and asked you myself. The only problem with this solution is that I can't take a friend on a date I'm already having with my girlfriend. I really want to go with her, too." Jasper winked at me and laughed.

"You could've taken both of us", I jokingly suggested. He really was a good friend and even saw himself as one after only three days of talking to each other. I sighed. "Why can't your brother be nice to me, too?", I asked the very question that came to my mind.

"Hm. I don't think you should take his behavior personally. But what did he do?"

"Where to start?" I didn't know if he knew about any of the things that had happened. Since I had obviously overheard Emmett reasoning with Edward, I didn't know whose side he would take. So I decided to be careful with my words.

"I asked him a personal question and he promised to tell me the truth whenever I was ready. I felt like he wasn't being truthful and some accidental eavesdropping confirmed my suspicion. When I confronted him, he openly admitted that he was planning on breaking his promise and that he had lied. He told me that it was for my own good and left me standing all alone in the hallway without an answer or apology because he was mad at my eavesdropping. What was I supposed to do with a swollen ankle? Crawl to the door, open it and tell him to talk somewhere else? It was a lot like what just happened to you."

When I finished my accusations, Jasper seemed to be shocked. "He can be so tactless sometimes!", he finally said. "As if it would do him any good to leave you in the dark after he confirmed that something was wrong! He's risking that you ask others about this and scare everyone! You already know some bits and pieces, so he might as well follow through with his admissions."

"Wait. I didn't tell you about my suspicions", I noticed as I opened my locker and deposited the books I had needed for my homework and took out my English binder. Jasper didn't take anything into class with him. Now that I thought about it, Edward didn't either.

"You're right. I knew some things about the whole situation, but I wanted to get to know your side of the story. And now I know that I was right when I took your side."

"You..?" I was speechless. "Thanks." Jasper had talked to him about me, too? Wow. Looked like it was two brothers against one. Maybe one of them would tell me what was up? I didn't want to ask, though.

We walked through the crowded hallway in front of the English room in silence. It wasn't awkward though, my mind was just desperately trying to sort things through while Jasper let me contemplate.

When I sat down next to Angela, she was bouncing with excitement. "I did it!", she squealed.

"I did it, too!" I was just as happy as Angela was. "We rock!", I added.

I felt like giving her a detailed account of yesterday's events, but I refrained. We once again had an audience. So I maneuvered us to a more inconspicuous topic. "What did you have in mind for Saturday?"

I didn't really know my way around Port Angeles yet, where we would be looking first, let alone around Seattle. "There won't be a lot of shops to choose from in Port Angeles. There's one for dresses and shoes and one that only has accessories. We'll look for the dresses first and then find matching shoes etcetera. That means that we won't even enter the second store if we can't find a dress. We'll just drive straight to Seattle then.", she explained the fight plan.

"Are we eating there?" It was probably going to take forever if we were going to have to drive all the way to Seattle. "Lunch for sure. I don't know about supper, though. If we have to go to Seattle we might have to, but it'll be good there, too. I know wonderful little diner there. And they have like twenty dress-shops in the city! It'll be so much fun!"

Angela wasn't kidding. I was a little surprised because she didn't appear to be a shopaholic. When she noticed my surprised expression, she leaned over to my table and whispered an explanation. "I was fearing a shopping-trip with Lauren and Jessica. Jessica is a pretty nice girl, but Lauren manipulates her into a different person whenever she is around."

Our teacher entered then and actively ended our conversation with a cheery "Good morning, class!"

…...

"Tyler mentioned a dancing lesson next Monday we are all supposed to attend.", I mentioned on our way to the next class.

"Yeah, you'd better tell Jacob about it soon! It's Monday through Thursday starting at four p.m. Wait." She thought for a while and then concluded, "So Tyler finally told you about his wonderful plan?" Angela giggled.

I sighed. "Yes. He wouldn't believe that I already had a date. He was convinced that I just didn't want to go with _him. _I'm glad I got it over with, though. He can still find himself a date in time for the lessons.", I called after her as we parted ways.

Angela was taking Geography instead of History. I never liked maps and forcing strange names of distant rivers and mountains into my brain, so I rather forced dates and events into it. Jasper was probably taking advanced History, since he wanted to study the Civil War later, I realized. This meant that none of my friends were in my second hour class.

This also meant that I had to face an unexpected obstacle all by myself. The mentioned obstacle was Mike's persistence. As soon as I entered the room, he walked towards my desk and sat down on its edge.

"Hey Bell, you wanna go to the fall dance with me?" _Not again, _I thought. "Sorry Mike, but I'm already going with someone else. Thanks for asking, though.", I explained.

"Who is it? I asked some of the guys and none of them is your date", he intervened.

"He's not from our school, so you won't know him anyways. You'll see him on Monday, I'm sure."

"You don't have to find an outside date now just because you already told Tyler you had a date. We could just pretend that you asked me, okay?" Mike smiled at me, convinced to have seen through my pretense.

"I already told Tyler the very same thing I'm going to tell you now. I really do have a date. Shall I give you his cell phone number so you can interrogate him?" I was slightly annoyed by now. Why couldn't he just believe me? Did I really seem too shy to ask a friend out for a dance? Obviously I did.

"I'll spare you the embarrassment, but don't be mad if you have to feign a sudden re-swelling of your ankle because you didn't dare to tell me the truth.", he contorted and went back to his seat, a satisfied smile on his lips. He really was living in his own world.

I followed him to his seat and calmly informed him, "Maybe you should ask Jessica. She was going to ask you today, anyways. She'll be flattered if you ask her first." I smiled my sweetest smile at him, twirled around and got out my stuff for the lesson. There. I had done my best to help him out and if he didn't take my advice seriously, he only had himself to blame.

…...

"I want to get a blue dress or a dark green one, I think. It'll go okay with my hair, right?"

"Black or white will only make you paler", Angela agreed on our way from lunch. We'd had to endure a babbling and very happy Jessica all throughout lunch. She kept thanking me for telling Mike to ask her out. Apparently, he had told her about my hint. "I'm in your debt.", she kept saying.

I was really happy for her and it was nice to hear her daydream about the dance. I was daydreaming, too, just silently. But when she told us about the exact expression on Mike's face during their short talk right before lunch for about the fifth time, it became a little boring.

We were once again leaving early to talk about private things. "Tell me how you asked Erik! I'm so happy that it worked out for both of us!" I really was.

"We both have Spanish last hour, so he usually walks me to my car and we talk for a while before we drive home. It was pretty easy because he asked me if I wanted to hang out on Saturday. Too bad that I can't, now that he asks for the first time ever, but I could conveniently throw in the dress-shopping and the ball. I just asked him if he already had a date and when he told me he didn't, I just asked him." Her eyes shone.

"What did he say exactly?", I wanted to know. "He was a little stunned at first, but then he said: 'Yes, I would love that.' I think he would've asked me eventually, but he didn't say so."

"He was probably too caught up in the moment. That is such a sweet story! I didn't even know he walks you to the car!", I admitted. Angela's face took on a dreamy expression. "I know. Now tell me your story, please.", she requested.

"Here it goes: Once upon a time, I went to hang out with Jacob on the beach." I laughed aloud at my fairytale-like storytelling. "He had no clue that I had had a leg brace, but then I slipped up and told him I was glad I got it off so I could dance at the fall dance. He was a little disappointed that I was risking my health and hadn't told him. He also automatically assumed that I asked some 'hot senior' from our school. When I told him that I would rather go with him, he was shocked to death. At first I thought he didn't want to go, but then he recovered. He was obviously having some problems with his self-esteem for a second. That's not at all like him, so I told him he was perfect for a date. And the best thing is... He almost kissed me in the end. I think.", I finished.

"Oh, wow, that is great! He should've kissed you for real, though!", Angela voiced the very thing I had been thinking for a while now. "Well, now you might be getting a perfect first kiss at the dance!" She smiled at me encouragingly. "I sure hope so.", I agreed.

…...

On my way to the parking lot after school, I encountered Edward. "May I have a word?", he asked me. "I'm sorry for my behavior earlier. I was just so embarrassed that you heard us. Please, accept my apology.", he pleaded with me. Why was it embarrassing that he didn't want me to know about the secret? Besides, he told me about these things freely before I even mentioned hearing them talk. Something was definitely off here.

"I accept that apology, but you still have some explaining to do, Edward!", I warned him. He sighed. "Can we not talk about this right now?" He seemed to be tired and remorseful, so I let it go and nodded. "Okay. What else is there to talk about?"

"I heard that pretty much the whole male population of Forks wants to go to the fall dance with you." He was pretty efficient with changing the subject, I had to admit.

"Yes. It was awkward having to explain over and over that I already have a date."

"You do? They didn't seem to believe you. Who are you going with?", he wanted to know. "I'm sure you don't know... Well, he says that he knows who you are, so you might actually know him, too. I'm going with Jacob Black from La Push."

The silence that followed my words was deafening. Edwards eyes widened a little, but he didn't react otherwise. "Yes. I know him." For a moment it seemed as though he was going to add something to his statement, for example what he thought about him or where he knew him from, but then he simply stated. "I would've gladly gone with you. I was going to ask you if you didn't already have a date. Well. Have fun."

With those words, he turned around and walked towards the other end of the parking lot. He left me astonished. Why in the world did he want to take _me_ to the fall dance? I thought he was dangerous for me...

…

**Review if you can't wait until the fall dance!**


	20. The Plot

Chapter 20: The PlotEPOV

Maybe I should have listened to Emmett. He had told me not to after everything that had happened and I didn't comply. I had burnt myself like a little kid who reaches for the turned-on stove top. I had to know and I knew this irrational desire wouldn't be good for me. Still, I had to abide its wishes.

Bella still seemed to be a little shocked because she had heard our little talk. Maybe she had thought that I wouldn't try now that I knew she already had a date. Angela Webber's calm thoughts as well as Jasper's observations about her emotions had shown me one thing: She was telling the truth. Jasper unwilling gave me another fact: She liked going with Black. Why him of all people? Though I didn't know his identity when I decided to tell her this one truth.

I still had to try to ask her out to the dance and I still had to leave her in the dark. At first, my thoughts about the dance had been lonely strays, but finally they consumed my mind until I had the talk with Emmett.

He had advised me to follow through with telling her the truth, just like Jasper had done. He also told me not to ask her to the dance because she would probably know about my 'little decision'- as he called it- by then and be terribly mad at me.

If only I had know how right he was, I'd never even have made the false promise. It was right not to tell her, but having made the promise was a mistake, one I couldn't undo.

When she told me about her eavesdropping in the hallway, I was very embarrassed that she knew about my decision and the fall dance. How had she even managed to listen to us behind the gym without my superior senses noticing her clumsy steps? If she had stayed long enough into the conversation, she now also knew that I had admitted to having budding feelings for her. I was hardly ready to admit to them, so I wasn't at all ready to have her know.

I simply didn't know what to do, so I ran away as humanly as I could.

Later, I had to pick up the mess I had made. Thus I apologized, insisted on not telling her about the secret for the while and finally admitted to wanting to take her to the dance. She was shocked that I was still trying, still letting her know, though I knew that she already knew.

Yes, the side-effects of eavesdropping. I experienced them constantly. Always having to distinguish between the things humans thought and said was tiring, especially because they differentiated so greatly. Maybe she pretended not to know in order to lessen my prior anger?

I was a little scared that she asked Black only to avoid going with me or having to find a flimsy excuse. Through the thoughts of the other boys who asked her and made the mistake of not believing her it was obvious that she didn't want to go with any of them if she had a choice.

The way she had reacted to my supposed one-on-one admission with Emmett was another bad sign. She had avoided any interaction with me for the whole four hours that gave her the chance to ignore me and screamed at me the following day. She had only mentioned the broken promise, but who knew if she was shocked and disgusted about another admission on the inside?

It was a little scary, even I had to admit that. We had hardly talked to each other and she had spent one half of the time assuming that I hated her and the other thinking that I was an idiot with some kind of hereditary disease. As if I could ever catch one! But still I felt for her like I had never felt before.

It was curiosity, protectiveness and a gravitational pull of thoughts towards her that made up this alien feeling. Carlisle had told me it was love. It could also be a natural reaction to her person, if I paid the other male students' thoughts any mind. There were many who thought she was too ordinary or didn't pay her any thought, though.

These feelings were the reason that I had to tell her in person that I was going to ask her. I didn't want her to think that I was ashamed. If she hadn't overheard the part about the dance, I wanted her to know. The slight chance that it would make her rethink her options- especially for the next, the spring dance- was worth the awkwardness of the moment.

I knew she wasn't my date, but I was going to dance with her nevertheless. I knew for a fact that I was an excellent dancer, so maybe this would help me in my quest. I would quit lying to her. Next time I would just tell her 'no' if she requested something off-limits.

Another element in my excellent plot to make her like me- if only as a friend, I tried to convince myself- was being nice to her. I couldn't very well be rude and break my promises and then expect her to be comfortable around me.

…...

On Friday, I set my plan into action.

"Hi Bella.", I greeted her as I sat down at the table next to her in Biology. She smiled up at me and then continued taking out her stuff for the lesson. Did she still think that I disliked her?

Obviously.

"Do you already have a dress for the dance?", I politely asked her. She seemed to be a little confused by my question, but maybe that was just my lack of ability to small-talk. When did one of us ever get the chance to practice exchanging pleasantries with mortals?

It was only really possible for my family and the Denalis because of our choice of diet. One had to feel the need to talk to them, though, which hadn't ever been the case for me. If I didn't want any specific thing from them, I didn't bother conversing with humans.

"Um..." She fumbled for words for a few seconds, but then answered. "No. I'll go dress-shopping with Angela on Saturday. We are hoping that we won't have to return for accessories on Sunday."

"What were you thinking about? Color-wise, for example?", I inquired.

"Blue or green, but I'm not sure yet..."

Since blue was my favorite color- I tended to wear it almost every day- and it would look absolutely lovely on her, I decided to make a suggestion. "I personally prefer blue. It would look pretty with your skin." Her skin was so pale that it almost matched mine. It seemed to be even more translucent, though. One could mistake her for one of us if it weren't for her steady heartbeat and her brown doe eyes.

"I'll just see which one fits the best. I might even take a dark red one.", Bella explained, obviously not too keen on talking to me.

"You do that. I'm sure it'll look great, anyways.", I complimented her. A slight blush rose in her skin at my words, so subtle that no human eye would be able to make it out. She wasn't perfect in the way only immortals could be, but her imperfections made her more fascinating. For me, there wasn't anything more boring than perfection.

Because Bella wasn't perfect, she was perfect for me.

…...

As always, I had inconspicuously tabbed in on her fellow students' thoughts during her lessons to make sure that she was okay. This way, I might also find some useful information about her likes and dislikes.

Bella was very accident-prone. During her P.E. lesson she had almost stabbed herself and another student with a javelin- all in one Friday. After only ten minutes of class she had to watch from the sideline. She seemed so innocent and so much in need of protection.

What would I give to be her protector! And how big was the irony of that thought!

A monster of the dark trying to be a guardian angel for a sweet human. But maybe I could be that for her. I would at least try to keep her safe. Who else could do that for her? I was the only volunteering 'person' with supernatural talents and abilities. If anyone planned on hurting her, I would be the first one to know. I was the only one who could protect her without anyone noticing at all.

On my way to the next class I made another choice: I was going to be her hidden guardian angel and she wasn't to find out. This was my additional plot from that day on.

She had even told me where she would be going, so it would be easy. Especially since I was already familiar with the tone of Angela Webber's thoughts.

_'Saturday, Newton, dress-shopping'_, I kept chanting in my head.

…

**It was time for Edward's point of view again, so here it is! Maybe this helps you a bit with the whole Jasper/Emmett confusion... **

**What do you think about Edward's 'plot'? Please review!**

**A humongous thanks to **_**emily**_** for finding my recent mistake with fall/spring dance, I corrected it immediately!**


	21. Shopping Marathon

Chapter 21: Shopping MarathonBPOV

Finally, the dreaded day of the essential dress shopping had come. It was dreaded because I feared a looong, long day without any accomplishment. But I was still a little excited to find _the_ dress.

I still hadn't decided on a style or a color, but one thing I knew for sure:

"It can't be a blue dress. Don't even point any out to me because I won't try them on, Angela.", I warned my friend as she drove us to Newton. We had agreed on not taking my truck in case we had to drive all the way to Seattle and back to Forks from there. My poor vehicle probably wouldn't have survived the trip in one piece. It could probably be my own grandfather age-wise.

"Okay, okay, if that is what you want... I'm open to anything you think would look good on me. I'm a huge fan of yellow, though, you probably already noticed." Angela laughed as I smiled and nodded. "But now that you made such a big deal out of the color, you have to tell me why exactly you have such a strong aversion to blue." Her eyes sparkled with curiosity. I was a little embarrassed by the reason and didn't answer at once, so she started begging.

"Pretty please? It can't be that bad, seriously."

"You can't tell anyone, but it's because of Edward. He questioned me about the dance and my dress and suggested that I take a blue one. Obviously, it's his favorite color. He tends to wear it quite often, now that I think of it, too. I don't want to risk matching with him!" Angela seemed to be surprised by my admission.

"And the bad thing about matching would be...? I mean, with any color you could possibly pick you'd always match someone. There will be too many people attending to avoid that.", she explained her confusion.

"He told me that he wanted to ask me to the dance _after_ he knew for sure that I was going with Jacob. It seemed a bit unusual, so I'm just being careful not to lead him on. I won't want him thinking that I picked the color of my dress just because it's his favorite!" I frowned.

"You're right, that would be awful. I'm honestly surprised that he asked you! I'm pretty sure that half the girls in town would give a few fingers to go to the dance with him, but since you don't want to, I agree with you." She seemed to understand.

"Especially since it is such a good opportunity..." I left the sentence unfinished. "I wouldn't want him to ruin the dance for me because he misinterpreted the color of my dress in his favor. I'm kind of scared that he might like me a little too much...", I confided in her.

"Oh, come on. It's Edward Cullen you're talking about. He doesn't like girls!", Angela exclaimed with an air of finality. I sincerely hoped that she was right...

The dress store in Newton didn't seem to be specialized on formal dresses. They had beautiful accessories and shoes, but mostly cotton or thin fabrics.

"May I help you?", a sales clerk came to our help as we searched for something to try on.

"We're looking for formal dresses for our fall dance next week.", I briefly explained our situation. The clerk gave us a most pitiful smile.

"I'm afraid that we're mostly sold out. Newton and Forks High are both having their dances soon and almost all of their girls were already here. I'll try to gather the remainders for you. You might have to look somewhere else, though, and return for accessories. We still have wonderful necklaces" She pointed to a display next to the register and Angela and me scurried over there to kill time while the clerk tried to find us something formal to wear.

"This one is so beautiful!", Angela said with her nose almost to the display's glass front. She was looking at a wonderful green necklace that sparkled in the light. I couldn't quite put my finger on what color it was exactly, but then decided on emerald-green. It even had a perfect length to wear it with a strapless dress. "Now I'm a strong supporter of a green dress for you, too. It matches your eyes.", Angela voiced my exact thoughts.

I thought that it was really beautiful. I would have to get a matching green dress now so that I could wear it. Angela's statement surprised me, though. "My eyes are brown..."

"Yes, they are, I know. But they also have some green highlights in them. You of all people should have noticed." Angela humorously smiled at me.

"Oh. You're right.", I had to admit.

When the two of us had almost stared a hole into the display's glass with our longing glances, the sales clerk returned with a few dresses. Three of them were different shades of blue and most in dark colors or too bright- orange for example- which only left us with two dresses each to try on.

Neither one of them fit Angela or me, just like the clerk had predicted. I couldn't very well buy the necklace yet because I didn't know if I'd find a matching dress. Angela grew quite fond of some pretty shoes that were her size exactly in different pale colors, but she had to force herself not to like them too much without a dress. So we just left the store with empty hands and headed towards Seattle.

Since Seattle was so much bigger than Newton, they fortunately weren't sold out at the mall's dress store there. We tried to find something on our owns, but it was almost impossible because of the sheer number of possibilities: Straps or no straps, dark or bright colors, red, blue, yellow, _green_, long or short, with intricate details or plain.

Maybe I should've made up my mind before trying to find a dress... On the other hand, this might have been a bad idea in case they weren't able to fulfill my every wish.

Soon, we gave up on finding _The Dress_ ourselves and asked for help. Our assistant of choice was a bouncy, petite girl with loads of curls on her head. What would we have made without her? She was obviously able to guess our sizes and knew the store by heart.

She briefly asked us for our preferences, left and came back with her arms full of dresses just a moment later.

In her arms there was a red dress for Angela as well as a pale yellow one and a strikingly beautiful green one for me as well as other nice designs and colors. I decided to try on the green one last. It was the exact same color as the necklace we had seen in Newton and had the perfect design for it, too.

All of the selected dresses fit _almost_ perfectly, yet the green one was the only perfect one. Trying them on took longer than I had expected because they were often difficult to close or tighten. As soon as I had the green one on and pulled it tight with the straps in the back, I knew that it was _The One_, though.

It clung to my body perfectly and had just the right length and design. It was strapless, slightly ruffled below the waist and flared out. The emerald-green really matched my eyes, I noticed as I looked myself over in the changing room's mirror.

"You have to take that one!", Angela insisted. I didn't complain since it really was perfect. Finding _The Dress_ for Angela was slightly more difficult. Finally, we found the right one for her, too. It was a pale yellow with straps that were tied in her neck. She had discarded it first because it was so long, but the sales clerk had insisted she tried it on. It went down almost to the floor and highlighted her long legs. It really made her look beautiful. I almost felt sorry for poor Erik...

"I'm already tired of shopping.", I admitted as we left the store with huge pink bags in our hands. "We should just get the accessories in Newton tomorrow and eat here. They had the shoes you liked in pale yellow in Newton, too, I think they should fit. I'll get the necklace there and you don't need jewelry if I didn't misinterpret you earlier, so it'll be more relaxed this way.", I suggested.

Angela confirmed. "I really like yellow, so it should match my favorite necklace perfectly. I don't have any plans tomorrow, either, so it should all go as planned. But are you going to go bare-footed?", she mocked me.

"No! I have some black shoes that are already broken in. That way I'll maybe avoid permanent damage, blisters and everlasting humiliation because I won't fall on my face for once. I've got a black purse, so no one will notice that the shoes don't exactly match the dress.", I explained and grinned widely.

"I don't think that Jacob will be looking at your feet either way..." Angela winked at me and I blushed.

I sincerely hoped that she was right.

…

**Sorry that this took me so long again. Being back from vacation doesn't help my update pace. The routine has me back within its reach...**

**Please review!**

**I'll be far away from an internet access etc. next week, so my next update will probably take even longer. **


	22. Unholy Guardian

Chapter 22: Unholy GuardianBPOV

Wonders never ceased to happen. One of them was that I was willingly going shopping twice in the course of one weekend. The second time had even been my idea! Shopping with Angela was enjoyable, though, for she went about it calmly.

Angela and I were back in Newton to buy a necklace for me and her shoes Sunday afternoon. I was a little panicked that someone else already bought them, but my fear had been unreasonable: Shoes and accessories were all exactly in the same place as I remembered them to be.

When I pointed at the necklace and the sales clerk handed it to me, I was surprised to see that it wasn't nearly as expensive as I had expected it to be, being this beautiful and all. Well, even better for me.

"What do you think?" I held the pretty green thing next to the dress' scarf I had brought with me. I hadn't been under the wrong impression: They really matched perfectly as though they had been made to go with each other. "It's so pretty. I'm almost jealous!" Angela grinned at me.

She got lucky, too. They really had pale yellow shoes in her size. She was going to wear them to the dancing classes next week so they'd be broken in by the time the dance would come. _Maybe I should wear mine, too, _I mused as we left the shop. Jacob was tall enough to be my height even with inch upon inch of high-heels.

Now that we had the important stuff in our bags, we decided to split up as we reached the bank. "We'll meet at the small café down main street, okay? I might take a while, so you just go ahead and get some drinks and food.", Angela suggested. I nodded; the café was easy to find and they had muffins to die for.

We waved at each other and Angela went on. While she had volunteered to do the family's grocery shopping, I had to re-stock my purse with money, so I stopped as Angela went on. The weekend had left me drained: First the dress, now the necklace and the money for gas that I had given to Angela. We weren't back in the eighties, after all, gas was expensive nowadays.

When I entered the bank building, I immediately noticed that something was amiss. For one, none of the customers moved. They all appeared to be frozen in place. It was also very quiet, so quiet that one would be able to hear a needle's soft 'ping' as it hit the floor. I froze in place right in the entrance hall.

Only my eyes moved from one customer to the other. That was how I noticed a hooded figure by the service desk. He held a revolver in one hand and his eyes whizzed around to keep the frozen people in check. Slowly, I took a step back.

"No one moves! Get on the floor. Now!", the hooded man, obviously a bank robber, bellowed as he perceived the movement. He looked frightening and absolutely ready to use this revolver of his. Carefully, the people before me lowered themselves to the ground. Just as I set out to copy their movements, something gripped me by the waist, my vision blurred and suddenly I was sitting in a car.

"Wha... What?", I blubbered, confused to no end. No one was beside me as I was sitting in a closed car's passenger seat just outside the bank.

"You're safe now, Bella.", the voice of no other than Edward Cullen sounded as he got down in the driver's seat.

"How? How... di-did you...?" I was rendered speechless.

"I happened to be walking by the bank, saw you and got you out of the line of fire. I called the police, too.", Edward calmly explained. "How come they didn't notice you?", I started another attempt at lightening the mystery of how I had gotten out of there unharmed.

"I'm a fast runner, but you already knew that, right?" Edward smirked a little unevenly, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. He turned the ignition without another comment and sped down main street.

"Where are we driving?", I asked him, a little scared. He was going much too fast for my liking and I was a little afraid that he was abducting me. I watched the speedometer creep towards sixty miles an hour. Speeding was a crime in the eyes of a chief's daughter, ergo my eyes. How much further was it to committing serious offenses? "Could you slow down a bit?"

"Um, sure, sorry. It's out of habit." Edward slowed down just enough to avoid a fine if he were caught. "I'm bringing you to the little café down main street. I'm afraid that you'll go into shock, so I want to get some fluid and sugar down your system. Sitting down won't hurt, either."

I opened and closed my mouth a few times to point out that he couldn't know that I was to meet Angela there, but then I realized that he, in fact, didn't know and there was no reason to object. It was a mere coincidence that he had chosen the exact same café that I was heading for. I wasn't being abducted, so that was a good thing, right?

Edward's earlier words came into my mind as he pulled to a stop in front of "Tracey's", the little aforementioned café. "When you said that you are fast, you meant that you ran so fast that no one saw you?", I inquired.

An uncomfortable expression spread on his face, but then he gave an almost imperceptible nod. "Why did you rescue me instead of just saving all of us and making sure the robber will be punished for his deeds? You could've just abducted the bank robber, you could've tied him up or just stolen the revolver!"

I was a little angry at Edward, stupid as it was because he had saved me. He had been able to do so much more if he really had these supernatural abilities and if he had used them more cleverly!

"You are right, I could have stolen the revolver." He sighed loudly. "But that wouldn't have solved anything. It would have my fingerprints on it and that's not an option. The robber would've run away, too, as soon as he'd have lost his weapon. If I really had caught him, how would I explain that to the police without risking exposure?" Edward looked a little weary. "There really wasn't another option. Besides, he won't shoot or harm anybody in there. He has the revolver for mere frightening reasons."

As soon as he had finished the sentence, Edward got out of the car, opened my door and half-dragged me into the café. "You can't know that. Could you let me walk myself?", I protested. When I willingly followed him, he let go of my arm and walked a little slower.

"Believe me, I know."

"Even if you were a forensics expert or a psychologist, you couldn't _know._ You could only assume!" I was desperate to make him see reason. There had to be a way to safe the others, too!

"I know. The police is already coming, so could you drop this, please?" Edward seemed to be annoyed by my persistence.

"No. Besides, I can't hear a siren. So, how do you claim to know that he meant no bodily harm?", I insisted.

"Because he was clearly thinking something along the lines of 'I hope they don't force me to fulfill my threat'.", Edward answered, seemingly defeated.

"But... I couldn't see that thought on his face. How could you when you were there only fractions of the blink of an eye?" Now that this was irking me, I wasn't going to let him get away once again without telling me the complete truth or admitting that he had only said this to appease me.

"Because he thought these thoughts and I heard him." Edward let out a breath and asked the waiter for a table for three. We had been arguing all throughout the wait. While we headed for our table, I was at a loss of words. Had he really just said...? And how did he know about the third person soon meeting me here?

"You read his thoughts? You've got to be kidding me." Suddenly, I realized that nothing was unlikely with Edward. He was apparently already terrifyingly good-looking, fast as lightning and hard enough to stop and dent a car with his shoulder. When he just stared at me pointedly, my mouth fell open and I incredulously stared back at him. "So you knew Angela is coming?"

Edward lowered his gaze and just nodded in response. "And you're snooping into my mind right now? That's kind of rude." Just then, I had a brilliant idea. He could still be lying or a crazy stalker who saw Angela with me earlier. Edward Cullen was something supernatural, but he wasn't above lying. So I suggested a test:

"If you're really able to read minds, why don't you tell me what I'm thinking right now?" I grinned an evil grin at him and thought of the most unlikely thing to think of that crossed my mind. 'I want to kiss a pink elephant, I want to kiss a pink elephant', I kept chanting in my head.

"See, here's the thing. I can read everyone's mind but yours." Edward shifted awkwardly in his seat. "That's why I decided to talk to you in the first place. With the others, there wasn't the need to." Suddenly, he changed the topic and plastered a smile on his face. "Why don't you get something to drink and to eat?"

I chuckled at his halfhearted attempt to avoid the test and concluded for myself that he was lying about knowing other people's thoughts. When a police cruiser with a turned on siren drove by, I decided to let the matter go and ordered a coke and a large chocolate chip muffin when the waiter came to take our orders. Edward didn't get himself anything. More strangeness. "Are you just going to watch me eat?" I was a little uncomfortable with the idea.

"I'm not hungry, so yes. You really have to eat, though, I don't want you to faint." Edward looked genuinely concerned. He was probably right being brought up by a doctor, so I quickly dug in when the food arrived. It was really good, but the fact that he had nothing to do but stare at my fork while it moved from the plate to my mouth was disconcerting.

To distract him a little and to hide my uneasiness as the silence stretched out endlessly, I finally asked him, "So you're still not gonna tell me what is up with your supernatural abilities?"

"No. It goes against my conscience and as long as this little secret of ours doesn't harm you, I'll thrive to protect my family.", he determinedly answered. "Didn't think so.", I mumbled, but he must've heard it nevertheless because he chuckled. He had heard the police's siren from miles away earlier, too, if he hadn't faked it. This added great sense of hearing to my mental list of off things about the Cullens.

Suddenly, a realization hit me. The Cullens... this included Jasper as well! He was probably able to run just as fast and hear just as well as Edward. Maybe he could tell me if Edward was really telling the truth about the whole mind-reading thing. If anyone knew, it was him. Somehow, I trusted him more than his brother. I hadn't caught him lying to my face yet, maybe that was it. But for some reason I just knew that he was trustworthy. At least more than Edward...

Emmett apparently was on my side, too, but I didn't dare to ask him. That I didn't even officially know his name was one of the reasons, another one that he clearly was an intimidating person.

"So, what else can you do? Can you fly or grow a second head for distraction?", I attempted to coax at least some useful information out of him.

"Do you really think that I'm going to tell you? You're already way too perceptive for my liking.", Edward destroyed my hopes. "Did you get a dress?", he abruptly changed the direction of our conversation. I realized that it was a lost cause to try to pry anymore information from him and went along with it.

"Yes, I even got a matching necklace."

Just as he was about to ask another question- most likely about the color of my dress since this seemed to be such an important matter to him- the door opened and Angela entered. She looked around the café with a worried expression I waved at her. Obviously, she hadn't seen Edward yet who was concealed by a large plastic plant. She smiled at me- for some reason relieved- and came over to our table, but when she recognized Edward sitting on the other side, her face quickly fell. She looked a little shocked, to be telling the truth.

"Hi.", she greeted me and then turned towards Edward. "I'm Angela. I didn't expect to meet you here. Edward, right?" He nodded in affirmation. "Nice to meet you."

As soon as Angela sat down at the table, Edward made to get up. "I should really leave you two alone, so I'll be on my way."

"Um. Okay." Angela seemed to be a little confused by his sudden desire to leave- as was I- but she didn't interfere.

"Did you hear about the bank robbery? I was so scared that something had happened to you because you were there just a few minutes before someone stormed in there with a gun!", she burst out, unable to contain herself.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Edward freeze on his way out. He seemed to be listening to us intently. Figuring that telling Angela the truth about the whole incident wouldn't help me convince him to trust me, I decided upon altering the story just a tad bit.

"I was just entering the entrance hall, when Edward came up. I didn't even get to withdraw the money because he stopped me. He had seen the robber in the bank and called the police. There wasn't anything we could do but get ourselves into a safer area, so we decided to wait here until you came to join me. He was afraid that I would go into shock." I rolled my eyes at his exaggerated concern. A few yards behind Angela, Edward resumed walking.

Technically, I hadn't even lied to her. I had only left out the vital parts of the story... Whatever this secret was, I wasn't going to shout its aspects from the rooftops before I knew whether it would hurt the Cullens or anyone elseif I did so. Plus, Edward had sworn me to secrecy time upon time. _I _wasn't into breaking promises!

"Did they get the robber? Please don't tell me that he got away with robbing a bank in broad daylight! He didn't hurt anyone, did he? He gave me a good scare, too!" I was desperately hoping that Edward had been right. Right now, he was at the door, turned around and smiled a thankful smile at me before he left.

"That's a double 'yep'.", Angela calmed me. "The police moved in just in time. They have these new safes with a time-lock, so he couldn't have any large amount of money unless he waited ten minutes for it to open. I know one of the customers who was in there during the robbery. She was scared to death, said he seemed ready to kill them all. Luckily, he was only bluffing and agreed to wait if no one moved, thus the police could easily arrest him. Gretchen said that he dropped his gun as soon as he heard the siren and made a run for it, right into their lines." Angela seemed to be extremely empathic. She almost looked as though she had just witnessed a bank robbery herself.

I pushed the remaining coke over to her. "You should drink some. Edward claims that it helps with shocking situations. Sugar, liquid and caffeine all in one, you know?"

"Thanks." She took a large sip. "I was so scared when I first heard about it! I thought you were maybe still in there, hurt or unconscious. I was walking by and saw the police and pale customers in a disclosed area. They already had the bank sealed and I only had Gretchen to assure that you hadn't been there when it happened. I had to force myself to come and check whether you were here."

I felt really happy when I heard her words. She really was a great and compassionate friend. "Thanks for your concern, Angela. I'm glad that I didn't have to be there and that neither did you. It's great to know that you were looking out for me." In the spur of the moment I went over and hugged her to me. She needed some comfort after the scare and she seemed to find it in my embrace. It helped me to realize that all had gone well. After releasing her, I tried to lighten the mood. "What an eventful day, huh? At least we got our accessories now. I think this'll go down in my books as the most exciting shopping trip ever!"

We both laughed for a good minute, relieved that nothing had happened to either one of us or any of the other customers. As rumors tended to spread fast, I was glad that Angela of all people had been with me today. She definitely wasn't one to gossip about her friends or even foes. Edward wouldn't want to mention the incident, either, so I was relatively safe from any unwanted attention.

"Isn't it funny how Edward's always happens to save you from danger?", Angela suddenly asked as we sat in comfortable silence, each deep in our own thoughts.

Yeah, that was just what I was wondering about.

…

**Sorry that hardly anything happened in the last chapter. But Bella needs a somewhat normal life and friends! This one is more important for the story-line and the dancing class is up next. Please R&R!**

**You only really know what 'expensive gasoline' means when you've been to Germany: In 2008, Germans paid about 7,5 Dollars per gallon. ;-))**


	23. Conquering The Waltz&The Smell Of Danger

Chapter 23a: Conquering the WaltzBPOV

On Monday, no one really paid the teachers any mind. The school was busy discussing dates, dresses and general gossip all in relation to the dance this week. Some girls didn't have their dresses yet and some guys were still tux-less. The students looked different, too: Most girls were either wearing high-heels or had brought some and the guys were mostly in dress shoes.

There was much excitement all throughout class: Was the hot Senior really bringing a Freshman girl? Tyler even had a bet with Lauren going regarding when I was going to fake-break my ankle. Tyler was betting on 'not until P.E.' while Lauren was convinced that it was going to be earlier than that. Looked like they were both going to lose...

I seriously didn't understand why it was so hard for them to accept that I had a date for the dance. I had never been under the impression that I was unpopular enough for no one to believe my statement. Three different boys from school had wanted to take me, after all, but only one of them had believed me. Maybe I had just hurt Tyler's pride? That must've been it. Mike appeared to be happy with Jessica as his date.

To Tyler's great surprise and Lauren's annoyance I actually turned up in front of the big gym unharmed after P.E. Waving at them I joined Angela and Erik by the main door. As we waited, we realized that we didn't yet know who our lesson's teacher was going to be. I couldn't quite picture any of our teachers I knew being great dancers.

"Imagine Mr. Lark and Mrs. Lopez dancing!", Erik chuckled. He made a sickly love-struck face and cooed, "Oh, Mr. Lark, mi amor!" That really would be funny. While our History teacher never got his nose out of his books, the school's Spanish teacher was always rather stuck up. Angela and I burst up laughing both at the mental image and at Erik's performance. Maybe that was why there was a rumor claiming that our mysterious teacher was a former student. This was probably better for us because we'd be able to be ourselves rather than well-behaving students.

Jacob hadn't arrived at our school yet. He got out of class the time that we did and had to drive all the way over here then. I was glad that our teacher had been considerate enough to figure out that some of us had outside dates. This meant that everyone had to wait, though.

As Angela told Erik about her dress- she couldn't very well not tell him about the color since she was wearing the matching shoes- I kept shooting nervous glances at the school's entrance. I was a little anxious and scared that Jacob might be late. He had warned me that this might happen when I called him on Friday to fill him in on the facts about the dancing lessons.

Just as Angela was saying, "I'll just bring my scarf tomorrow so you'll be able to find a tie that goes well with the dress.", the door opened and in came Jacob. He looked relieved when he noticed that all of us were still out here and searched the crowd for me. When I waved at him, he hastily came over, obviously nervous about the stares he was receiving by now.

"Hey", he softly said as he hugged me. "Great to know at least someone over here, huh? I kind of feel like I grew a third head."

I smiled at him, feeling only a little bit sorry for him. "Now you know how I felt when I first came here. I already warned you that they think you don't exist. And rest assured, they didn't even notice head number two yet." I smiled at him and turned around to the others. "These two firmly believed in your existence, though. Jacob, these are Angela and Erik, you two, this is Jacob.", I properly introduced them to each other.

"I'm really surprised you made it in time. Isn't La Push like at least ten miles out of town?", Angela started a conversation.

"I drove over here like a madman 'cause I was fearing that I'd have to walk into a room of strangers waiting for me. I was kind of scared of being stared down." Jacob turned back to me then. "Really, you'll have to tell Charlie to do speed patrols on the other side of town if I have to keep this up."

At his words, all of us had to laugh. You really couldn't not like Jacob, yet I was still glad that they got along so well from the beginning on. Jacob seemed to relax considerably, too.

"However fast you drove her, it'll be nothing compared to how Edward drives.", I threw in. When Erik looked surprised, I set to explain. "I'm sure you heard about the bank robbery in Newton? I was heading for the exact same bank exactly as it took place when Edward 'rescued' me,", I made little quotation marks in the air, "called the police and drove me to where I was to meet Angela later. He was going like sixty miles an hour on Newton main street! I was scared I was being abducted or something."

Jacob chuckled at my words. "I always believed he was a mafia boss, minus the greasy hair of course. Now my suspicions are officially confirmed: He's really bribing the police! Maybe your father is on his payroll, too.", he mocked. We had a good laugh when, speaking of the devil, Edward Cullen himself entered the school followed by his siblings. Without another glance around he headed for the gym doors, unlocked them and motioned for us to enter. Jasper smiled at me and nodded in passing. It looked like the rumors had almost been right this time. They had only gotten the part with the _former_ student wrong.

As we gathered in a circle inside the gym, all of us curious to know what would be going on, Edward began to speak. "Okay. This is what we are going to do: Alice over here is going to teach you some of the easier and most common dances- starting with the waltz- while I go around to correct mistakes. It'll be useful to bring the shoes you'll be wearing to the dance to practice as well as your dates. Now, have fun!" He stepped back and Alice, his sister, took over. She had short spiky hair and looked every bit a bouncy pixy. She seemed to be more like her boyfriend than Edward, who always seemed rather thoughtful and gloomy.

"Hi everyone, I'm Alice.", she started in a cheery voice. "I'll dance with Jasper and I need you to couple up, too. Since there are more girls than guys at our school, we'll have some female couples. These need to decide which one of them is going to dance as the lady."

A general turmoil started at her words as the students tried to find their dates among the crowd and the girls who had yet to find a date tried to snatch themselves one of the remaining guys. Some of them even tried to approach Jake until he scurried closer to me. "I'm glad that I didn't come here alone. They would have eaten me alive.", he whispered to me, a look of genuine fright across his face.

As I looked at him, I noticed that he really was a little taller than me even with my shoes one. Perfect. I smiled at his earlier words and explained my stares, "You're still taller than me, even though I'm wearing like ten inches of heels."

"That's great. I would hate to have to wear high-heels, too. These are bad enough as it is.", Jake deadpanned and I had to laugh at his humor. He gave his shiny dress shoes a malicious death stare. "Oh. I just remembered. I brought my scarf so we'll match, I'll give it to you during break. It's almost seeing the dress, but I already told you that's a no-go." I smiled as he frowned. "Okay. At least I'll get to know the color." He really seemed to want to know what I'd wear to the fall dance. I was excited for a 'formal' Jacob, too, for he normally wore jeans and t-shirts and I had never seen him dressed up.

Finally, the noise settled down and class began. We started out in a large circle to learn the basic steps. "The movements themselves are fairly easy, but it's difficult to put them together. Imagine a little square in front of you. Right now you're standing at its lower right corner. We want to get to the opposite corner, so you start out with the right foot. You step to the upper right corner, like this.", Alice instructed. "Now you take the other foot to the left upper corner. The right foot follows suit. You have to set it down all the way before we can go on. Are we all there?" She checked the circle and continued when all of us were standing with their feet together. "Now we do everything backwards: The right foot goes _back_ this time and the left one goes over..."

When Alice explained the dance to us, it sounded easy enough, but all of us messed up plenty of times. It was quite difficult to remember which corner you were currently standing in. When we were finally able to dance around our little square- sometimes Edward had to assist when people kept falling over their own feet- we were to try with our partners.

Alice showed us where to place our arms and demonstrated how to fit the steps together with Jasper. This part was much easier than I had expected it to be: While Jacob was to start at the right lower corner, I began at the left upper one of my own square. "Do you think anyone in here ever danced like this before?", I asked Jacob as I timidly placed my hand on his shoulder. He took my other hand- the right one- in his and answered. "Looks like the Cullens are the only ones. I've never been to a wedding so far, so there wasn't ever the need to learn any ballroom dancing. But we're not doing too bad, are we?" I was a little distracted by the tingle his hand caused on mine at first, so I didn't immediately answer. I suddenly noticed how close exactly he was standing to me and how confident he seemed.

He grinned and moved us through our respective squares quite expertly. "Looks like you know what you're doing.", I informed him. "Better than you dragging me across the dance floor, isn't it?" I had to agree to that. Soon, I didn't have to think about the steps anymore, I could just feel and enjoy. Even talking didn't distract me anymore. When I looked into Jacob's eyes, I quit moving, though. It was as if my heart missed a beat when our eyes met. He was looking back at me with something in his eyes that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Okay, you're all doing pretty well,", Alice's voice chimed in. "Now we're going to take it up a notch. What we're going to practice next is the twirling part and the rhythm. When we're done, it's supposed to look like this."

As soon as she was done speaking, Jasper twirled her through the gym. They seemed to have a lot of fun and I was surprised that Jasper knew where he was leading them: They were spinning around so fast, but it looked so wonderful! Suddenly, they seemed to remember their audience and stopped still. "Now I'm going to show you how we get there, starting with the rhythm. The waltz is a dance with a three-beat rhythm where the first of the three beats is most important. You count it like this: ONE-two-three-ONE-two-three, and so on. I'll turn on some music, so it'll be easier to hear the beat."

Like that, the lesson flew by. We had a short break that passed quickly as Jacob and I chatted with Angela and Erik and before we knew it, we were twirling around the gym, though not as graceful as Jasper and Alice had been. It was so much fun and it really made me feel elegant. Jacob had an excellent lead and I hardly ever misunderstood where he wanted to go. I did step on his toes once or twice, though, but he didn't seem to mind much. Edward hadn't come to correct us once and I was quite satisfied with us.

Sooner than expected the lesson was over. When Alice announced its end, Jacob lead me into a pirouette and we looked at each other, laughing. We had conquered the waltz, what was up next?

…...

**Chapter 23b: The Smell Of Action**

**BPOV**

When class was over, Jacob and I said our goodbyes and went over to Newton's. Charlie was for some reason suddenly out of bait for the next fishing trip. Since he didn't want to borrow some from Billy, he had insisted that I went and got him some. I had of course forgotten which one he needed for catching the big fish and I was still a little scared of Mrs. Newton.

She had been rather grouchy when she had to discover that I had declined her son's offer to go to the ball and that I needed a week off for the dancing classes, and all in one day. She hadn't spoken to me since, except to tell me that I was expected to be on time Monday next week. Since I was too much of a coward to face her and risk loosing my new job, I went for the easy solution and asked Jacob for help. He was a guy and had been fishing several times, so he had to know about bait.

…...flashback...

"So, can you tell me which one I need?", I asked him.

"No." He looked serious.

"Pretty please?" I tried to make puppy eyes at him, which seemed to work out pretty well because he tried to hide a smile.

Still, he answered once again with a 'no'.

"Why?", I wanted to know. "It's not like it'll cost you any time or money or anything." I was quite sure that he was kidding, but he confused me a bit.

"See, that's the problem. I don't want to _tell_ you." Now he was openly grinning at me.

"So, can you _show _me which one I need?" I sighed.

"Why didn't you say so earlier? You know I'm always there to help you out!", he mocked me, his voice laced with sarcasm, and patted my shoulder as though I was a little to slow with my thoughts. "Jake!", I scolded him and swatted his hand away.

"I just agreed to rescue you from Charlie's and Mrs. Newton's wrath and you slap me? Seriously, something is wrong with you and violence!" When a giggle escaped me, both of us had to laugh at his words.

…...end_of_flashback...

After we had quickly and cautiously entered the shop, we hid in the main aisle for a few seconds while I tried to figure out where Mrs. Newton was. A metallic 'clang' soon gave me the answer. "She's sorting through the beverages in the back.", I whispered at Jacob. He held up a thumb and scurried over to the next aisle crouched down. Before he went in, he peeked into it and motioned for me to follow. I had to suppress a giggle. This really was fun.

I started to play along and secured the next aisle before we shuffled over there. When the door opened to let in another customer, both of us hid behind a massive shelf. "What happens if they see us?", I whispered and tried to fake a fear-laced voice. It seemed to be convincing enough because Jacob winked at me and answered me quietly and dead-serious, "We are going to get arrested for public sneaking around at Newton's." This time, it was even harder to reign in my amusement both at his seriousness and at the ridiculousness of our whole little pretense.

I was just about to clutch my chest in fake desperation, when a low growling sound disrupted our little game. Both of us shot up and I looked around the aisle, but no one and nothing was to be seen, especially no big, angry dog. I turned back to Jacob who seemed to be frozen in place. Only then did I discover a Quileute boy lurking behind one of the shelves. His hair was short and stubbly and his eyes were ablaze with hatred. It was Jacob's friend, Quil.

He stalked around the shelf and stopped in front of Jacob who looked a little intimidated by his taller friend. Quil stared down at him and spat: "Nice company you're keeping, Jacob!" I briefly considered running away in my high-heels, but I couldn't let Jacob face this guy alone. So I straightened up next to him and bravely said, "Are you talking about me, Quil?" Jacob seemed to be speechless both at his friend's and at my behavior.

Quil shifted his murderous glance to me and, instead of answering, just grabbed a strand of my hair and sniffed at it. I was too perplexed to react in any other way than by freezing in place. He started shaking furiously and his outlines almost seemed to blur as his angry expression turned to one of disgust.

Jacob was the first one to react. His voice emotionless, he told him, "Get out of here, man, before either one of us hurts someone." Without another word Quil abruptly turned around and almost fled from the place.

Both of us were silent for the while it took for the shock to pass. "Is it because I'm from Forks? Because of my family?" I felt tears rising in my eyes which threatened to spill over. I didn't know why I disgusted him so much. What had I ever done besides being born?

"Shh...", Jacob soothed me and gathered me in his arms. "It's not you, Bells, I'm sure. He has no reason to dislike you, why would anyone?" He slowly stroked my hair and I started relaxing. I didn't want him to stop, though, so I remained quiet.

After a minute, I started speaking again. "I do not smell bad, do I?"

"Let me check.", Jacob simply replied and buried his head in my hair. He took an exaggerated sniff and shook his head. "Nope. Smells good. Maybe he's allergic to raspberries."

I smiled up at him, feeling better already, when a loud cough startled us. We hastily stepped apart only to see Mrs. Newton in front of us with her eyebrows raised. "Well, well, if that isn't Miss Bella Swan of all people being indecent in public. Does your father know?" She chuckled to herself and turned around.

"It's not... We didn't even...", I finally sputtered just as she turned the corner. She shot me an amused glance and winked at me. Looked like she was only kidding and not mad at me for the ball thing anymore. Why would she? Mike seemed to be happy with Jessica as his date. I sighed a sigh of relief and turned around to a beet-red Jacob.

What the heck...?

…

**I hope this satisfied your expectations... It got a little longer than planned, but I didn't have the heart to post part b by itself. Please let me know what you think!**


	24. Letting Go

**Tadadada! Here I am again! I am terribly sorry that I took such a long break- college was starting and I had to readjust- new friends, new places, new experiences. This new life changed my perspective on life and it took a while for me to be ready to continue writing this story. That is because I don't want this to be just another love story. I know that this is in no way an excuse, but I hope that you will forgive me.**

Chapter 24: Letting Go – JPOV

* * *

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary,

When troubles come and my heart burdened be,

Then I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit a while with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains,

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas,

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders,

You raise me up,

To more than I can be.

(Westlife, You raise me up)

* * *

For the rest of the week, I was excited for dance class. Every day I drove over to Forks High and learned new steps and new dances. It was great to spend so much time with Bella, I had a new-found favorite hobby- dancing- and I really came to like Angela and Erik. I especially enjoyed the Latin American dances like tango or rumba. They had a kind of passion to them and were really fun to dance. We spun around the gym, laughed, talked and got to know each other better. And just like that, it was Friday.

We went over the dances once more, discussed the seating at the tables and suddenly, it was over. I was definitely going to miss dancing with Bells- there was only this one last day left, my one big chance to follow through with what I had planned throughout the week. Because there was no way that I was going to let this chance slip through my hands…

I was currently sitting on my bed with my tux already on and checking and rechecking my reflection in the mirror. I definitely didn't want to turn up at the Swan's house with my pants unzipped or a button missing, especially because I knew that Bells was going to look exceptionally beautiful tonight, even more so than on an ordinary school day. I started tapping my fingers on my leg, a nervous habit of mine. Come to think of it, I had started feeling rather restless in the past few days. I finally grabbed my car keys, sighed loudly and decided to rip myself away from my self-conscious thoughts. Almost as if he had known of my intentions to join him, dad wheeled into my room with a humorous twinkling in his eyes.

"Believe me, son, I know exactly how you feel." He sighed once and his eyes seemed to glance over. "There was a time when I was quite a graceful dancer and a fairly handsome young man. Sometimes I was even a little too sure of myself… Your mother was such a beautiful and enchanting girl that I could hardly believe my luck. I had never felt as nervous as I was on the day of my prom. That night comes in third after the day of our wedding."

His voice had become softer as he spoke of my mum. We sat in comfortable silence for a while, each of us remembering the times when our family was still complete, with both my sisters and mum here. "I still miss her, you know", I finally dared to disturb the silence. It didn't happen often that we ventured this far into the past.

"I know." Billy answered. His eyes were full of longing and love for his lost wife. He had known her so much better than me, had spent almost all of his life with her. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes; he had seemingly drawn strength from the air around him.

"What keeps me going in life is the knowledge hidden deep within my heart that she is not withering away in a grave like many pale faces think. I believe with all my soul that she is in a better place, whatever you may call it. You don't need to mourn for her, Jake, though you can miss her because you need her."

"All humans are beings of spirit and energy. No one can simply create energy or force it to cease to exist, it is always converted. You cannot make a fire; you have to have energy in form of wood first. Sarah may not be walking among us, but she is still there, maybe reborn in another body, showing other people that love is always stronger than hate. She taught us to live every second of every day like it is the last. Maybe that was her destiny in life- to love, to give life to three wonderful children and to show us all that death is not the end, but a new beginning." Billy shone from within when he paused to think. The strength from this knowledge he was sharing with me seemed to spread around his body until I could almost see the young daring boy he used to be.

"I miss Sarah, too, but isn't that egoistic? I might sound harsh now, but look at it this way: She fulfilled her duty in life and now we have to let her go on and, most important of all, we have to learn what her death is supposed to teach us. There is no such thing as coincidence. I would have loved to spend decades with her, I have wished day upon day since she is gone that you wouldn't have to grow up without a mother. But I have to admit that Sarah taught me the greatest lesson about life with her death- that we have to make it count. Life is like a theater play- where you get to choose whether you want to be a stage hand, the villain, the victim or the hero." He finally opened his eyes and his gaze pierced into my very soul.

Silently, I nodded and then, as understanding and a deep calm spread within my chest, I spoke. "In the end it does not matter how much money you made or whether you were popular. The only thing that counts is whether you did the right thing."

"You know what is right, son, so go for it! As long as you follow your gut feeling, you'll always know what to do."

"You mean…?" I was speechless at his perceptiveness, though I could've guessed that he knew. He always seemed to know everything. Maybe mum had brought that out in him.

"I mean that and so much more, Jacob. I have a gut feeling that you'll soon be introduced into certain things you never imagined were possible. Right now it is not my place to tell you, but know this: Never give up improving yourself before this world is truly healed."

With those words, he patted my shoulder and wheeled out of my room. He had given me an awful amount of things to think about. He was right though…

There is more to life than meets the eye.

I wanted my mother to live another great life where she could bring happiness and wisdom to those who met her. Smiling fondly, I relived my memories with her.

Then I closed my eyes and let Sarah Black go.

* * *

**Please review! **


	25. The Ball

**I have received a tremendous amount of offers from potential betas, so it might take me a while to look into their own writing. Please be patient in your wait for answers, I appreciate your help very much!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my faithful reviewer d444 and all of the others who reviewed (over 100, wow!) or favorited me!**

Chapter 25: The Ball – JPOV

* * *

Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When you look me in the eyes,  
I catch a glimpse of heaven.  
I find my paradise,  
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,  
To be with you again?  
Gonna tell you that I love you,  
In the best way that I can.  
I can't take a day without you here,  
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

(Jonas Brothers, When you look me in the eyes)

* * *

When I rose from my bed I felt relieved. It was as though a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. The pain that had threatened to crush my lungs for so long and that had sunk its claws into my aching heart was finally gone. I felt so right for the first time in years that I didn't even look into the mirror before I grabbed my keys from the dresser and left the house.

I was still nervous, but the nervousness was a mere fizzle behind a calming blanket of peace.

Everything would be fine as long as I didn't step on Bella's toes.

As I rang the doorbell of the Swans' house a tidal wave of fear was about to drown me, but I managed to concentrate on my breathing with enough effort to push it back. I was like a rock along the shore, I could feel the fear thundering past me like ocean waves, but I wouldn't be moved by it.

Finally Charlie greeted me with a wide smile. "Good to see you, Jake! Come on in!" Without waiting for a reply, he turned around and mumbled under his breath. "Bells will probably need another two hours in the bathroom." I could almost hear his eyes roll and had to fight back a chuckle.

"Hi Charlie. How did the fishing trip last weekend go?" I decided to distract both him and myself while I followed him into the kitchen.

"It went really well", he answered as he offered me a glass of water. He usually wasn't the typically considerate host, but I reckoned that this was an act of pity. He had to have gone through the same thing in his high school years. "I daresay that it was the best fishing trip since Harry caught that four-foot cod eight years ago. This time it was in quantity, though, not in dimensions." Charlie looked excited.

"How many did you catch? My dad didn't really tell me anything yet, he was busy with council business."

"Let's just say that we won't be eating anything but fish until February", Bella's voice answered for him. She had obviously heard our conversation from the top of the stairs. I couldn't see her yet because the darn fridge was in my line of sight as well as the ceiling. Quickly, I started to round the corner to see her.

"I had problems getting all of it in the freezer. I even had to sit on the lid to close it!" She giggled in remembrance. "I think my butt might still be frozen."

When I could finally see her, my jaw dropped and I just stood there like a deer caught in the headlights. Honestly, she was that beautiful. She wore a strapless green dress that accentuated her tender waist with ruffles and a stunning necklace in the exact same shade of green. I had already seen her shoes during our dancing class, but they looked more elegant with her outfit. Most alluring of all was her face, though. It wasn't the subtle makeup that fascinated me, but the glow in her eyes and her smile. She was truly stunning.

"Wow…" was all my fried brain was able to fabricate. I had been planning on saying something way smoother.

"I know" she laughed as she slowly descended the staircase, "they never caught that much before!"

"I wasn't talking about the fish." I mumbled, unable to take me eyes off of her eyes which were sparkling with mirth. "You look stunning", I finally managed to compliment her.

"Oh." She blushed and looked down at her dress. "Well, you don't look too bad yourself, Mr. Black" She grinned at me shyly and I was pretty sure that my cheeks matched hers by now.

"Why, thank you, milady. Are you ready to go, Ms. Swan?" I mockingly bowed and offered her my hand as a way to ease the tension. She really looked like a swan. With her hair curled and piled on top of her head, only a few loose tendrils hanging out, her long neck looked elegant. And her skin was almost white, anyways.

Bella giggled and took my hand when Charlie peeked his head around the corner. "You're lucky you're such a good kid, Jacob. I will spare you the don't-you-dare-to-hurt-my-daughter-talk. Have fun, you two!" With that, he sauntered over to the living room and turned on the TV. Wow, I hadn't expected that to go so easy. I would have to thank my dad for befriending Charlie as soon as I was home. He hadn't even threatened to shoot me!

Bells leaned over to me and conspiratorially whispered: "I had to bribe him with a week's worth of fish fry so he wouldn't put his gun on the kitchen counter to scare you." I chuckled quietly as I held the door open for Bella. "I don't think he'd be able to shoot me. He's too much of a nice guy for murdering the innocent son of his best friend. You see the halo?" I gestured to my head. "As if I would even attempt to hurt you. I'm too much of a chicken to risk the damage you could inflict on me with those heels of yours."

She just grinned at me evilly. "That's right, you be careful of my kung-fu-moves! I'll knock out big bad Jacob Black with my deadly high-heels in no time." I just raised my eyebrow at her and pulled out of the driveway. The playful banter continued all the way to Forks High, though.

* * *

When we arrived at the school, the parking lot was already crammed with cars. But I managed to park and helped Bella out of the car. I was a gentleman, after all. I carefully wrapped an arm around her waist, but tried to make sure that I wasn't overstepping my boundaries "Is this okay, Bells?"

"Huh? Sure. My lethal weapons might turn against me otherwise."

"We definitely can't have that, now do we?" I winked at her and she blushed. I took that as my cue to lead the way towards the entrance doors.

When we entered the gym, quite a few pairs of eyes were trained on Bells. I knew perfectly how much she hated being in the spotlight, so I quickly maneuvered us over to where I could see Erik, Angela, Ben and the others. "Thank you!" she sighed her relief.

Over the week I had gotten to know her friends really well and I enthusiastically said my hellos. Angela and Bells immediately began gushing over each others' outfits and I had to admit that Angela looked quite nice in her dress. Both girls usually wore clothes that didn't reveal anything. Now it was a completely different story… I was just ogling the part of Bella's back that I could see through the lacing when I noticed that Ben was talking to me.

"… seriously, we both are so lucky!"

"Um, yeah, you are definitely right." And how right he was.

"Are the clones here yet?"

"The clones?" Ben was momentarily confused. "Ah, got it! They're really so much alike! Nope, haven't seen them yet, so it'll be a while 'till they get this thing started." Since they had organized the dance classes, they had somehow become the sole planners of the fall dance.

Just then, the Cullens entered the gym along with the school's principal. I seriously could never remember his name! Whoever-it-was gave a short boring speech about the supposed fun he had at his own fall dance way back in the times when dinosaurs still roamed the earth.

"Yeah right, as if he knows how to spell 'fun' ", I snorted and Bells rolled her eyes while the others laughed. In the end, she joined in with her tinkling laugh. After a bit more of his rambling someone suddenly dimmed the lights and turned on the music. I obviously wasn't the only one sick of his drowning on and on. I had to admit- though I would never make that admission aloud- that the Cullen kids really knew how to throw a party. The short haired pixie-like girl had made the principal shut up and the decorations glimmered and glittered in the dark. Overall it was quite an impressive and eerie atmosphere. The first song was a relatively fast-paced one, so I turned to my date. "Bells, you wanna dance?"

"Sure, sure." She nodded, sounding very much like myself. I chuckled and pulled her closer to me, taking her tiny hand in mine and resting the other on her hip.

And then we danced.

* * *

My heart, it beats to your song.  
A melody sent from God,  
I can't breathe when you're gone,  
Yes I'm deeply in love.  
Every single day of my life, My heart is sacrificed  
Night and day, day and night.

Today's the day, tonight's the night,  
I know you're feeling my sound,  
'Cause today's the day, tonight's the night.  
Imma lay it down ,  
Imma get it up so I can't get down,  
Hear me roar, hear my thunder sound,  
I'm the lord of the underground.  
Part of the jungle!

Let's glow! Hands high, hands high!  
I can't wait, I can't wait to see you glow,  
Round the world, round the world my people glow, glow!  
I can't wait, I can't wait to see you glow,  
Round the world, round the world my people, glow!

Let us share this moment,  
Let's enjoy this night,  
Get the world connected,  
Though you are one of a kind,

See we try to reach out,  
Get the world to see,  
Though we all feel different,  
You are just like me.

Glow!  
Ladies and gentlemen,  
Glow, glow!  
I want everybody to get your hands up in the air!

We free, and you so light,  
Let me see you glow, Throughout the night,  
Cause I wanna dance, Dance, dance!  
Yes I wanna dance, tonight.

Hands high, hands high!  
All the people like this go:  
Hands high, hands high!  
And I'm telling you wave your hands high, hands high!  
All around the world, put your hands high!

Let's glow! Hands high, hands high!  
I can't wait, I can't wait to see you glow,  
Round the world, round the world my people glow, glow!  
I can't wait, I can't wait to see you glow,  
Round the world, round the world my people, glow!

(Madcon, Glow)

* * *

Dancing with Bells in my arms was pure bliss. The people in the gym were all rocking, swaying and jumping; it looked like the whole building was dancing to the beat. Sweaty bodies were everywhere, but I didn't look away from my partner's eyes enough to notice who called them their own. Her laughter was so carefree when I twirled her around extra fast and we were both having so much fun. I felt as though we were dancing some inches above the ground, it felt almost surreal.

When I was – almost!- a little exhausted from the fast pace, the music changed to a slower piece. Bella automatically moved closer to me and put both of her arms around my neck instead of dancing as we were 'supposed' to. I wasn't complaining, though. I pulled her body to mine and held her by the waist as she rested her head on my chest. I buried my head in her hair and whispered "You didn't step on my toes just once with your deathly heels. You're really an excellent dancer."

She looked up at me with big brown eyes and whispered back. "Thank you. Why are we whispering?" I smiled down at her somewhat sheepishly. "I don't know."

Bella smiled at me then and the smile took my breath away. It was coy and shy at the same time and I really wanted to kiss her. I didn't know if this was the right moment, though. Could you kiss a girl just because she smiled? Still awestruck, I remembered the last time that I had wanted to kiss her this badly.

* * *

She had looked up at me with those eyes then and it was as if the atmosphere changed from playful banter to sizzling tension in a matter of milliseconds. Her hair clung to her face and her bikini to her skin and she had sand all over. She really was beautiful and very kissable. Slowly, she moistened her lips with her pink tongue without even realizing what she was doing: Turning me into a panting heap of goo without even touching me. I wanted to kiss her so badly and I unconsciously leaned in closer when I suddenly came to my senses.

I couldn't just kiss her! She had been here for only a few weeks and was in need of a friend. I couldn't ruin this because of hormones. Then my nerves kicked in. Even if she wanted to be kissed, surely she didn't want me to do it. I was younger than her and inexperienced. So I did what my nervousness commanded - I pulled back.

I wouldn't try kissing her again should she not initiate it, I decided then. I told myself that it was so she wouldn't feel forced, but it really was because I was scared of her reaction.

* * *

I felt particularly daring and had vowed to kiss her sometime this evening. But before I even had a chance to rethink my decision about letting her initiate it, someone was talking to us. "May I have this dance, Bella?" It was one of the Cullens, the bronze haired one. When neither of us reacted for a few seconds, he simply dragged her with him and started dancing. "Hey!" I cried out, but since Bella didn't protest, I let him be.

I was fuming, but I didn't show it. I did shoot him some glares, though, but he didn't seem to notice. Bella looked a little lost with him, but I was sure she could fend for herself. I stayed close by in case Cullen should try any funny business with her, but I couldn't really stop her from dancing with her friends or acquaintances. As long as she didn't motion to me for help, I would leave her to dance with whomever she wanted to dance with or didn't dare to refuse.

Before I could ask her for another dance, Ben cut in. I didn't mind him dancing with Bella, she seemed to visibly relax when Cullen was gone. Before I got another chance, the music was turned out and pixie claimed the stage.

"As you all probably already know, we are now going to present you the candidates for fall dance queen and king. We have held an anonymous voting amongst the Juniors and Seniors on Wednesday on who should become part of the royalty. I may present to you: Mike, Kevin, Ryan, Jessica, Bella and Deanna! Please come up to the stage so the crowd can see you!"

Bella looked, to put it mildly, shocked. I gave her an encouraging smile from across the room and a thumbs-up. When she had put her face back together, she joined the others as they hurried to the stage. The two boys I wasn't familiar with looked like decent guys and seemed to be friends. They were clapping each others' shoulders and grinning broadly. I had seen the girl before, though. She had twirled around the hall quite gracefully at the practices.

As soon as the six were visible on the stage, the gym erupted in cheers and clapping. I sent Bells another calming smile- she couldn't see me, but I had at least tried my best- and it seemed to work. She smiled at the crowd hesitantly.

The pixie spoke again. "On the back of your fall dance tickets you will find the ballot. You may only choose one girl for queen and one boy for king. Thanks and have fun!" With that all of them left the stage and I weaved to the front of the crowd to find Bells.

When I found her, I embraced her. "You looked really confident and pretty up on that stage.", I complimented her proudly. "I didn't. Jessica and Deanna are way prettier than I am. Did you see her dress?" She protested.

"Yes you did look the best. And I'm so going to vote for you!"

* * *

To be continued soon!

**Thanks to Rachel for her review!**

**Per request of beautifulmess2005 I found links to dresses that look similar to the ones I made up (the colors are wrong... Sorry, my imagination doesn't match the designers')**

**Bella (imagine it in shimmering green): http : / / www(dot)crusz-ballmode(dot)de/Empire-Ballkleid-44-50-blau_detail_179_12(dot)html**

**Angela (imagine a pale yellow): http : / / www(dot)crusz-ballmode(dot)de/Chiffon-Neckholder-gruen_detail_241_11(dot)html**


	26. Giving Into Temptation

Chapter 26: Giving Into Temptation– JPOV

* * *

Just one last dance  
before we say goodbye  
when we sway and turn round and round and round  
it's like the first time.

Just one more chance,  
hold me tight and keep me warm,  
cause the night is getting cold  
and I don't know where I belong  
Just one last dance

Sarah Connor (Just One Last Dance)

* * *

"You know, sometimes it isn't all about the prettiest dress or the most regular cheekbones. You wouldn't be my Bells if you were any different, so don't you get all self-conscious on me" I teasingly wiggled my finger in front of her face. "Besides, you should know better than fishing for compliments like that. But I think I'll be generous today and might have a compliment left in my back pocket." As I pretended to search my pocket I added "This isn't mere flattery, though. -Ah, here it is!"

"I don't like you for your pretty brown eyes or your long legs, Bella. You are a person worth liking for who you are, not just for your looks. Judging you by your hair or your clothes wouldn't do you justice, so please don't think you're not as pretty as any other girl. Every person has a beauty that is entirely their own and yours is extraordinarily to my liking."

I took a deep breath and checked her face to see if I had accidentally embarrassed her or myself during my long speech. It had been vitally important to get my point across, so it had taken all of the word vomit to make sure she understood that I liked her for her looks and even more for her personality.

Bella's lip trembled for a fraction of a second, as though she were scared, and her eyes turned into open floodgates. There was such a depth of emotions in them that I wasn't able to take it all in: Relief, Doubt, Gratitude, Pride, Wonder...

„Thanks" she finally whispered. „I really needed that. I just realized that I've been on edge ever since I saw Jessica parade in."

„But she doesn't have you with her, so I must've done something right!" She announced a little later. I gave her my best impression of an impish grin. „Would you like..."

I never got to finish my sentence because Mike rudely interrupted us. „Hey, you two lovebirds should quit the flirting and dig into the buffet before Ben eats all the good sandwiches!" As he dragged us along I couldn't help but mock-whisper to Bella: "Do you really think they didn't leave me any tuna sandwiches?" I tried to make my voice extra-whiney.

"I hardly think you are going to die of starvation, Jake." Bella didn't have any mercy with my poor stomach.

"Hey, a man has to eat! And I didn't get to grab anything before we left."

I'm pretty sure I heard her mumbling something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like 'boys' as I tore off towards the buffet. But her small pout soon turned into a smile when I handed her a plate with food.

"Wow! Is that a grilled mushroom?" She beamed at me. Sometimes we were incredibly similar... Though she wouldn't like to hear that she was just as easily happy as I was when presented with her favorite food. The big difference was that I just had more favorite foods than her. A lot more, to tell you the truth.

"That's what you need me for: to eat all the delicious food you like to make and to hunt you some fresh sandwiches should the need arise."

Angela joined our conversation. "You sure look like you could strangle an angry turkey in the woods." The girls giggled, but I wasn't quite sure what to make of her comment.

"Or an angry tuna!" Ben piped in.

Now I had to laugh despite myself and soon we were all working hard to keep from toppling over with laughter.

"I-I-Imaging Jake- hahaha- throttling a tu-tuna and yelling at it- hihihi- to hold still!" Bella was in near-hysterics by now.

"You think if we keep laughing long enough they'll have to close the school?" I asked Erik after a while.

He took a moment to compose himself. "Possibly. Why?"

"Rumors are that a school in China had to be shut down for a few weeks because of an especially contagious laughing-fit. Apparently someone had compared a teacher to a fish." I said matter-of-factly and that did all of us in for another round of laughing.

"Now they'll have to close down La Push because each time we'll catch a glimpse of you..." Angela threatened.

"Hey, give me a break!" I complained and held my hands up in surrender. The laughter flared up once again before it died down and the group dispersed to hit the buffet again or to resume the dancing.

* * *

"Everyone gather around, please!" the pixie yelled through the microphone later-on. "We have been busy counting the votes for our queen and king and are pleased to present them to you. Please give your best applause to this year's king, Mike Newton, and his lovely queen, Deanna Miller!"

The crowd erupted in cheers and clapping as the two made it up to the stage to accept their crown and diadem. As we gathered around in a circle they had to do a dance of honor before our watchful eyes.

"I'm so happy I didn't make it" Bella whispered as we watched the two twirl around the cleared space in our midst. "I probably would've fallen and broken my ankle or fainted from embarrassment."

"Nah, I doubt that. Well... With your luck, you never know. Do you remember when we spent the day at the beach and you tripped over Quil's cat?"

"Yes! My mom was in hysterics and threatening to wrap me in band-aids and bubble-wrap before I was allowed to ever leave the house again!"

I laughed and then silence enveloped us. Suddenly, I didn't know what to say. As the others started dancing to a fast-paced song around us, I felt suspended in time. My tongue was tied and I felt nervous. There were only going to be a few more songs before we would have to say goodbye for the evening. We wouldn't be seeing each other as often as this last week and I was sure I was going to miss spending time with Bells. I would miss the dancing, too, it was fun and a welcome change from basketball.

"I missed you, you know" I couldn't mask the huskiness in my voice. "When you were gone."

"I..."

"It was so hard not being able to see you. You were my best friend! And I was quite scared of calling you out of state. I thought I had lost you forever ."

"I'm back for good now, Jake, and I could have called, too."

"We've just both changed so much and I feel like nothing is like it used to be." I lowered my eyes.

"You're not to blame. I was just so focused on finding new friends and adjusting to Florida. I'm sorry for not making more of an effort."

How could I get my point across without sounding desperate? I had spent some time thinking in the last few weeks and I had discovered that though I had known Bella for forever, I didn't really know anything about her anymore.

"I just feel like I don't know anything important about you anymore. I don't even know whether you have a pet or if you still like strawberry ice-cream best! We've been spending so much time and it only makes me realize that there is so much time that we lost because I was too scared of calling you or coming over when you came to visit Charlie."

I took a deep breath and decided to get this all into the open.

"I wish I had called you and I wish I could still be your best friend, Bells. Will you give me another chance?"

She had so many buddies now that I felt like I maybe wasn't even a friend of hers. She was so friendly with everyone that I didn't even know where I stood. I wasn't sure if I wanted anything more than being her friend, but I could always go from there, right? And just because I had this strange urge to kiss her didn't necessarily mean that she felt the same way. Maybe I would get over it in time, but honestly, I didn't really believe that myself.

Bella looked surprised. "Of course, there's nothing to forgive, really. I am so glad there's someone here I've known for all my life and I'd love to have you as my friend." She smiled a beautiful smile and hugged me tightly to her warm body.

I froze and looked her in the eyes.

I watched as her eyes widened and drew her closer to me, her breath ghosting over my face. A curl had fallen out of her hair-do and I lifted my hand to tuck it behind her ear, but refrained from doing so. I was left breathless, my hand suspended in mid-air. Like a deer caught in the headlights I was trapped in her gaze that was open and trusting.

I could feel the seconds ticking by as the tension threatened to drown me.

Should I? Should I not?

That was when all my careful thoughts of not scaring her away and letting her decide the timing left me.

It was almost as if I was watching myself draw closer and closer to her face. My heart was beating in my chest as though I was about to die. And maybe I was.

When our lips met, it was nothing like I had imagined it. She was the perfect girl to kiss, so soft and warm. It lasted only a split-second until I was overcome by emotions and turned my head to hold her as close as I could. I was so full of warmth and happiness that I felt as though I was about to burst. I couldn't possibly feel all of this without spontaneously combusting. I wanted to say something, anything, but couldn't possibly form a sentence. My brain had somehow turned to mush.

It wasn't even a real kiss, but my lips were tingling and it felt so right to have Bella tight against me and clinging to my arms.

It felt as if we were spending an eternity embracing in the middle of the dance floor.

But even eternity ends eventually...

"May I have this dance?" someone tapped Bella on her shoulder and she disentangled herself from our embrace. She had a dazed look on her face and looked seriously lost and confused, but nodded nonetheless. "Su-sure." she said quietly and stumbled off after him.

I was left to stand there, alone in the middle of the dance floor.

* * *

**Who do you think is the evil guy breaking up their moment? **

**Do you think Jacob is too soft in this one? He's only sixteen or so, after all.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! I hope to have my next update out faster, but I'm also looking for more constructive criticism and encouragement from you. I'm not a professional writer, after all!**


	27. Another Lesson Learned In Life

Chapter 27: Another Lesson Learned In Life– JPOV

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Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

* * *

When I came home from the dance, I was a little sad about the way the day had been. Sure, I had had a good day, but Bella had spent so much time dancing with others. Right, the food was delicious, but I wanted to kiss her properly. Of course, I had felt like I was flying when we danced and laughed and talked. But, I wanted her to be with me, damn it! We had timidly embraced as we said our farewells. Both of us were to shy to mention anything or to clarify the situation. A real kiss would've cut the tension, but neither of us had dared to move.

I was downright miserable when I should have been ecstatic and I when I realized that, it was as though I had started an avalanche of realizations. I smiled and touched my lips where Bella's had been only half an hour ago. There were so many good things in my life: Her, my father and my sisters, my friends and hotdogs.

My struggles weren't that different from those of the people around me, I realized.

People have different approaches to happiness and different ways of living.

There are people who say that you learn best from the mistakes you made.

Some people make a mistake again and again.

Others try to learn from other people's mistakes to avoid making them themselves.

Sometimes you learn because you finally listened to a good friend or your parents.

And there are times when life itself is the best teacher. A few truths are buried deep within all of us and we are the only ones who can unravel their secrets.

Of course we all know that we love our family. We are aware that we are loved, but do we always understand this with all its beautiful consequences? There is no one in the whole world who isn't loved by someone and who does not love. Whatever may happen to us, wherever we are, nothing can cut the ribbons of love connecting us with those we carry with us- in our hearts.

Some people have to leave for a while before they realize what they used to have and some people have to lose their luck to find happiness. That might be because you cannot see or smell happiness. It cannot be measured, forced or taken away. It is the greatest thing we have. Others are lucky fools and stumble upon a great gift. Some even see it for what it is.

One thing is the same for all of us, though:

There is so much happiness we can find in the things around us, in life itself.

Sometimes I feel like the world is coming to an end. Rocks are weighting down on my heart and all smiles and jokes leave my body. There is only one way to fight unhappiness: To be ridiculously happy because you get to live this wonderful thing that is called life.

Let me explain: There is one crucial point in getting away from misery: You mustn't dislike misery or stomp your foot demanding fortuna's immediate attention. No luck in the world makes you truly happy if you don't accept it and actively decide to be happy about it.

Life is beautiful: Look at how the wind seems to play tag with the branches of a willow. Somewhere in the woods a bird is snuggling up in its nest while somewhere else a nightingale sings her beautiful song. On the other side of the street a young girl is skipping across the yard and laughing at something her brother sings. You have food in your fridge and a roof to sleep under. What is there to be unhappy about?

No one can take away your happiness or the love you feel for others, just like not a dictator in the world can keep people from thinking what they might.

Everything in our world links together to form a most beautiful and richly colored puzzle. Both its complexity and simplicity are enough to scare you away or to make you cry for its beauty. Which one you do is entirely up to you. Maybe it is your lazy neighbor's fault that you are late for work, but it is your choice to be angry about it.

Because even if you are late, you have a job to care for yourself. That in itself is a wonderful thing. You can take care of yourself and even care for others, if you wanted or had to.

And even if you don't have a job, you have friends. They depend on you and are happy in your company.

If you never made friends, there's still your family or your beloved pet who love and cherish you. They accept you for what you are and even though they might sometimes be angry with you, they'll still love you at the end of the day.

Even if you feel like you are alone in the world, you still have nature's beauty around you. There's always a bird's song, always laughing children. The day where there is nothing left to be happy about, the world has come to an end.

Because even in the most deserted of deserts you can smile at the contrast between the burning sun and the deep black shadows the rocks are casting. Even if no plants or animals are near you, you still have yourself and the endless skies to enjoy.

If the sky is dark, you may enjoy the moon and the uncountable stars. If the stars are hidden, let yourself breath in the elegance of the obscuring clouds.

If you were to live without a sky, without other life and without anything at all, then you would be surrounded by nothing but darkness. But no one can take away your happiness by taking away what you love and what you know. Even in complete darkness and all by yourself you could still feel your heart beating and the love seeping out of you. You can still enjoy the infinity surrounding you.

If last of all, someone were to leave you in the dark nothingness and torture you within an inch of your life, they couldn't take away your happiness if you didn't allow them to. If you wanted to, you'd be happy. You could feel your heart swell because you have the unique ability to feel happiness. You might be happy because your soul still shines its light into the darkness surrounding you and through the pain taking possession of your body.

No one can take away happiness. No one can take away love.

They even knew that hundreds and thousands of years ago.

"Love is patient, love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for languages, they will cease, as for knowledge, it will come to an end. (…) and now faith, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8,13)

I learned my lesson that day, and it might've had an even bigger impact on my life than the kiss I shared with Bella.

Never let anyone or anything deter you from your own happiness.

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**Sorry for being so depressed last time! I love you all and thank you for your encouragment!**


	28. Whatever Comes First

**Chapter 28: Whatever comes first– BPOV**

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**There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand **

* * *

Darn Edward for interrupting us! I had so wanted him to kiss me again, but didn't dare make the second first move. Had it even really been a kiss? Was it meant to be one? I was so confused when I returned home that it took me an hour to go to sleep even though I was tired to no end.

Did this mean that Jake liked me? Was this too soon? Did I even want this now?

I did. But did he? It was a never-ending cycle of questions.

We would have to talk this out or I would have to gather all my courage and give him a proper kiss. Whichever comes first.

* * *

„Didn't you say that Jacob wasn't your boyfriend ,I mean, he's totally hot, however did you get so lucky, can you introduce me to some of his friends I..." I interrupted Lauren before she could launch the rest of her word vomit.

„I did say that, Lauren, you're right. Maybe I'll take you all to the next beach party, but I really must get going now if I don't want to miss my English class." I smiled at her flabbergasted expression and then hurried off with another almost convincing „Sorry!". She must have believed me though, because she looked ready to pass out from excitement. Really, Lauren was well able to be nice, you just didn't want to be on the receiving end of her jabs and gossip nor the center of her attention.

As soon as I was out of the spotlight and around the corner, Angela 'attacked' me. "He kissed you!" She squealed. "I _knew_ he liked you! Did he ask you out yet?"

"Umm.. " I was a little uncomfortable with admitting my confusing situation to anyone other than me. "It's sort of undefined right now. I'm absolutely dreading having to bring it up!"

"Don't worry Bella, if a guy has kissed you three times it is considered dating. You might as well bring it up then and just wait to see what happens."

"I don't know..." I really wanted this clarified, but I really didn't want to do the actual clarifying. "Why are you so insecure about this? It's obvious that nothing could go wrong." Angela encouraged me as we entered the classroom. I toned it down a bit, but still explained: "I could embarrass myself because I misinterpreted or because he didn't really mean it or..."

"What is there to misunderstand about a kiss?" Angela had raised her voice a bit along with her eyebrows, so I quickly shushed her before Jessica could listen in on us.

"I don't even know if it was a kiss! It was hot and we were dancing and it was so quick that I couldn't react at all. What if he thinks I rejected him or worse, if he accidentally bumped into me?" I was pleading for her to understand.

"Oh come on, stop wallowing in self-pity! I saw you guys, and both of you meant it. You're so much alike that it's funny. See, you are both trying to avoid facing this."

"But, what if..."

Angela raised her hand to silence me. "No buts. Believe me, one of you has to jump in the deep end now. It's not dangerous, but you have to _do_ it."

"Okay..." I admitted defeat, partly because I didn't know a clever comeback and mainly because she was right. Kind of.

I had to do something. Or Jake had to. Whatever comes first.

* * *

„I think Cullen likes you!" Jessica whisper-yelled at me during our walk to the cafeteria.

"Nuh- uh, Edward just feels 'responsible for my well-being'. " I did my best to fake his pronunciation that was sometimes a little off. "You know, after the whole thing where we were both almost smashed by Tyler's vehicle?"

"I really don't think that's it. He never talks to anyone but his siblings. And you!" She sighed dreamily. "If that isn't a little bit of infatuation, I'm not called Jessica Stanley."

I raised an eyebrow and tried to explain. "I feel more like we're in an old-fashioned movie where he's my conservative dad."

"How come?" Angela piped in.

"He actually had to nerve to ask me to dance with him right when I was enjoying myself the most" I winked at her so Jessica couldn't see. "just to give me a huge talk about how the Quileutes were all bad for 'children like me' and how I shouldn't surround myself with strays. It was really awkward and he's definitely not my favorite person right now." Rolling my eyes at his behavior, I turned to Jessica. "He is just trying to look out for me, weird as it is. No infatuation at all."

"You do know that his words translate directly into: 'You can't date him because I'm so much better for you'?"

"I think she might be right" Angela agreed. "At least I don't think he sees you as a potential daughter."

Maybe she was right, even most probably, but in some ways I think he was trying to be my friend. It looked like he didn't have any other and was quite happy with the way things were. But everybody needed a friend, didn't they? And he had somehow decided that I was to be his friend. The weird way he went about this task he seemed to have set out for himself fit all the strange things I had generally noticed about him. Quite possibly his weird approach to friendship was as normal to him as straightening out car doors after ramming them in with your shoulder. Or as normal as suddenly appearing out of nowhere and trying to cover up by telling me I was seeing things? He was quite good at that, too. I almost believed his stories myself.

I would have to try to talk to him again later in order to find out about that incident. I still hadn't given up on talking him out of his stubborn silence and his infuriating attempts at changing topics.

Maybe we would cross paths after school. Or, I dreaded the possibility, I would have to approach him while he was surrounded by his siblings.

* * *

"Hello Isabella! How did you like the dance?" I jumped a little as Jasper got down next to me. I had been so immersed in my homework for the next class that I didn't hear him walk over during study hall. "It was really great! I'm so happy that we had lessons before this because my dress definitely wasn't made for club-dancing." I smiled at the mental picture I still had from my last dance in Florida. I had ripped the hem of my dress while I was trying to dance. Trying being the operative word. "Your girlfriend really knows how to throw a party."

"She does, doesn't she? It is like a hidden talent of hers. Everyone know that she's all about fashion and clothes and shoes, but who would've suspected she actually liked parties?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm and his eyes twinkled, so I knew he wasn't being serious. That was really good because I would've laughed anyways.

"Do you do this every term? Because you really should! Some people are so different in a tux!" I grinned. "Did you see Colin?"

"Well... Is he the one who fell into the hair gel? I'm not really familiar with all the names..." Jasper smiled sheepishly. "He really looked quite... different... if you want to use that word."

"You really don't know him? And here I thought I was new!"

"No, seriously, how come that none of you really seem to know anyone here. I mean, if that isn't too personal a question." Maybe I shouldn't have asked... I didn't want to embarrass him or make him mad.

"It is a little difficult to explain. You see, we were raised differently and it has been difficult with the other students. Besides, we are so many that we don't really need to have many more friends." He grimaced. "That probably came out awfully wrong."

"Well, I could misunderstand you if I wanted to. But I think I know what you're getting at. Alaska doesn't have much people, right? And that is where you're originally from."

"I was hoping you would understand" He admitted and smiled, seemingly relieved. "It is somehow different with you."

"Because I'm not from here, either?"

"It's..." But he was interrupted before he could finish.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, would you mind toning down your incessant babbling for the sake of the other students?"

* * *

**How is that?**

**It is summer yet again – no college- and thus my season for writing! **


	29. The Avalanche

**Chapter 29: The Avalanche – BPOV**

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**Misery is almost always the result of thinking. (Joseph Joubert )**

* * *

When I came home from school on Tuesday, the phone started ringing just as I was turning the key. I had to sprint to get the call because Charlie wasn't home yet.

"Hey" I said a little breathlessly.

It was Jacob.

"Hey Bella. Do you, uuh, want to hang out sometime this week? It's been a while since we really got to talk to each other one-on-one... I mean, only if you're free."

I smiled at his rambling and let him out of his misery. "Sure, sure, how about Thursday? I'm already meeting with Ange and some others tomorrow."

"I should be home around three thirty that day, so you're welcome to come anytime after."

"I'll be there at about four if that's okay. By the way, I heard Rachel was coming to visit you next weekend?"

"Yeah, I almost forgot to tell you about that, sorry. She is apparently bringing some guy she just met with her. Rachel thinks he is finally the right one, but we'll see. They've only known each other for about a month." He seemed thoughtful and I could almost see his eyebrows drawn together in contemplation.

"If you want my opinion on him you've got to invite me over. But I think I'll gatecrash anyways, it's been way too long since I have heard of your sister."

"You were always pretty close... How come you're not in contact anymore?"

"... I think it is part of the whole emotional distance thing I was trying to accomplish when I stopped visiting. It was too painful to come back here and see before my eyes what our family used to be like. Charlie tried to hide it, but he was always sad and lonely in those times."

"I think he still is sometimes".

I nodded slowly but then remembered that he couldn't very well see me through the phone. "You're right but I'm surprised that it's so easy to tell. I always thought I was the only one who saw..."

"You're obviously forgetting who my dad is..." His chuckle was a little sad.

"Hmm. So, I guess I just broke all ties to this place trying to block out the sadness and loss I connected with this place."

"But didn't it hurt even more not to know how your dad or your friends were doing?"

"Probably, but it was just at the beginning instead of every summer and Christmas anew."

I sighed.

"I now know better than just leaving a part of me behind, but at the time it seemed like the easier thing to do. It wasn't even a conscious decision, I think. I can try and rationalize it now, but back then I simply wasn't thinking. Not even not clearly, but not at all."

"I'm not really mad at you anymore. I might've done the same thing had the situations been reversed."

"Were you mad when I left?" I dared to ask, my heart beating in my chest as though it was trying to run away. I had been dreading this conversation ever since I came back, although I knew that it was a very necessary one.

"I'm not sure. I was pretty angry with the way the world was and sad. Why did your parents have to argue and why did your mom have to take away my best friend? We were both so young at the time, but it was pretty hard on me, my parents said. I still got to see you though, but it wasn't really the same anymore."

"That's what I thought, too. I felt like a part of the forest, the beach and your family when I lived here, but later on I felt like a mere visitor. Almost like a tourist, looking at the things and imagining what it would be like to be a part of them."

"I'm really sorry."

Jacob waited for me to continue and filled the silence after a minute where I didn't know what else to say as tears gathered in my eyes. I wanted to cry for all the lost chances, but shouldn't I be comforting Jacob? It was me who did the damage and I didn't even realize it until now.

"I was pretty mad when you weren't coming to visit any longer. The thing I resented the most was that you were too chicken to tell me, but made Charlie do the dirty work. He was pretty devastated that you didn't want to see your own father any longer and didn't even want to talk to your supposed friends. He felt like he failed you as a father."

"I- " I choked on my words, not knowing what to say. I slowly felt the tears starting to fall.

"Look." Jacobs voice was gentle now, like a velvety blanket. "I don't mean to upset you, but it just came up and someone had to tell you the truth. I know that Charlie wouldn't ever tell you in fear of scaring you off. He's not really good with expressing his feelings either, but you might have noticed that already."

He chuckled and I had to smile despite the situation I was in right now.

"We can talk about this again on Thursday, if you want to. Just know that I'm not angry any more. I've somehow accepted that you had your reasons for leaving and no one really holds a grudge against you because of it. I just want you to know about this because you can learn from the past and move forward into the future without making the same mistakes twice."

"I think I'll thank you for this later, but right now I need some time to think everything through. I'll see you in two days, okay?"

"Sure, Bells, enjoy your sleepover and don't over-exhaust your brain trying to sort though things, okay?"

I had to laugh a little. "Sure thing. See you!"

"Bye!"

* * *

„There you are!" Angela hugged me and dragged me inside her house. She was already in pajamas, as were the other two girls. One of them was Jessica and the other Angela's younger cousin.

"Hi, I'm Carol! You must be Bella since everyone else is already present."

She seemed to be a very smiley person and I could feel myself already liking her.

When I reemerged from the bathroom in my pajamas- I had purposely chosen older ones because they were so ridiculously pink and girly- the other three girls had already made popcorn and gathered blankets around the TV.

"What are we going to watch?" I asked them but maybe I shouldn't have: They all started talking simultaneously.

"There's this new movie with a really hot guy in it..."

"- really good, Lauren already saw it in the cinema- "

"What about a comedy?"

"Wow, wow. Wow! Hold on a second, I'm not that good at multi-tasking!" I held my hands up in surrender.

"How about we go with the theme of the evening and relive childhood memories? I mean, since we're actually having a pajama party like fifth-graders?" I giggled at my own suggestion.

Cheering met my words and so it was decided. Angela rummaged through her DVDs for a while until she found what she had been looking for and popped in "Bambi".

"Really?" Jessica raised an eyebrow at her selection.

"If we're going to do this, we have got to do it all the way." Angela smiled sweetly at her, albeit a bit sarcastically.

* * *

About five minutes into the movie, Jessica couldn't stand the curiosity any longer and burst out "Are you and Jacob an item now?"

"Umm.. " I blushed furiously. "I'm not sure, I already told Angela that..."

"You two simply _have to _end up together! You were so cute at the ball!"

I blushed even more at this, but even Carol joined the conversation. "She's right, you two look good together. And you can't deny that you like him, now can you?"

Carol winked at me. "I'm a Sophomore, so I was only there because Thomas invited me and I didn't know too many people, but I still saw you two."

"I can't deny that I don't exactly think of him as my best friend, as I should." I mumbled.

"Then it's set. We are going to help you get the man of your dreams. Don't even protest! " Darn, she had seen me opening my mouth to say that I didn't think they could help me. "When we are done with you, Jacob Black will wish he had never left your relationship undefined!" Jessica declared this almost as if declaring war on the whole male gender. I remembered that she was still quite mad at Mike for something.

"Are you still mad at Mike?"

"Nu-uh! I'm so over him now, I wouldn't even spare him a second thought as anything other than a friend if he came begging!" Her eyes were flashing dangerously, so I knew better than to argue with her.

"If you say so." Angela gave her a reassuring smile with the skeptic words to calm her down.

"We're getting off-track, anyways. This was supposed to be about Bella." Jessica reminded us, for once glad to be out of the limelight.

"First of all, I want you to remember that we're not going to change you, just make him see aspects of you he hasn't yet noticed. I'm sure that underneath your surface there is a whole lot of self-confidence and sexiness. I've seen glimpses of it, but I know that you're not letting it out all the time. What's stopping you?" she inquired as the movie kept playing unattended.

"I like myself, but I don't think I'm that sexy." I frowned at her, but Angela jumped into the conversation.

"You're as sexy as you think you are. That's what my mom used to tell me when I was being self-conscious."

"And once you feel sexy, Jacob won't know what hit him. I bet that he won't last a week without asking you out!" Carol agreed.

"You have to imagine a switch inside on the inside of your arm. Whenever you want to be sexy, you switch it and it turn on a bulb inside you. The bulb makes you shine from within. It makes your hair reflect the light just right, it makes your skin glow and your eyes shine. It is filling you up with confidence and happiness."

"Just try it!" Angela encouraged me. "I know you can do it!"

And really, as the three girl kept talking to me persistently, I could feel the confidence inside me like a blossoming flower.

"Take a real look into the mirror and try to see the good things about you. No one will look at your flaws when you don't mind them yourself and outshine them with everything else."

Carol helped me up and pushed me towards the floor-length mirror in the hall. At first I thought her words were strange, but then I understood. As I looked at myself I noticed how you didn't really see the infinitesimally small pimple on my chin if my eyes were shining and a smile played around my lips.

"That's how you get away with that hideous cardigan of yours, isn't it? Just smile it away?" I playfully asked Jessica. She really was a wonderful person as long as Lauren wasn't around to poison her confidence.

"You're absolutely right, my dear! But if I weren't in such a good mood right now, I would come and get you back for that comment, Miss-no-taste-of-hairclips!"

I gasped and threw a nearby pillow at her. "You did not just insult my hairclip" Of course I missed her by a lot- I had been aiming from the hallway, after all- and hit Carol instead.

"You really shouldn't have dragged me into this!" she yelled with an evil smile and chucked the pillow back at me.

The pillow fight was on!

* * *

**There she goes again! Please tell me what you think! I highly appreciate lengthy reviews**


	30. The New And Reformed Bella Swan

**Chapter 30: The new and reformed Bella Swan – BPOV**

* * *

"**It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." (Author unknown)**

* * *

It seemed that the sleep-over induced confidence was still on when I left Angela's house the next day because I had decided to do a very unlikely thing for myself: Get a haircut professionally done. Normally I would just sit down in front of a mirror at home and let Renee cut it. The past few months I had even resorted to cutting the front myself if the strands were getting out of hand. Now the back really needed a cut and I couldn't very well do it myself or ask Charlie to do it.

I cringed at the mental picture of my hair all over the place. That was what had happened when he had attempted to cut it in first grade. Charlie couldn't cut anyone's hair or rose bushes to save his life (which I both knew from experience). But of course the rose-bushes Renee planted were long gone and I was old enough to get a hair-cut done myself.

As I entered the building, I noticed that they had no mirrors hanging at the walls. The hairdresser looked nice, so I didn't immediately run away screaming when I noticed this. She greeted me warmly and directed me to a seat. While I was getting comfortable she asked me what I wanted her to do.

Slightly nervous, I told the hairdresser what I was planning to do with my hair: "I don't really want to change it a lot. It's supposed to still be me, but I was thinking about highlighting my personality..." I trailed off, not sure if I had explained it right. "I think I get it. I'm to bring out the real you, right?" the hairdresser looked at me for affirmation and at my nod started to enthusiastically cut away way more strands than I had expected.

"Are you sure there will be some hair left after you're done?" I dared to ask after about five minutes, when the floor was covered in brown.

"Don't worry sweetie, everyone is worried in the beginning. I'm taking out some strands at the top so your hair will have more volume and look livelier. The strands on the floor are just a scare at the beginning. That's why we don't have mirrors. You only get to see my works when all is set and done." She grinned at me and continued snipping away.

And I really wasn't disappointed when she finally told me she was done and dragged me to a small curtain. When she pulled it back with a 'ta-da' I was looking at myself in the mirror. Though it was still me, it was an experience to see myself without knowing what to expect. I looked great, at least in my opinion. The cut suited me and wasn't all that different from what I used to wear day-in day-out. "Layering the hair really makes it more interesting. It's very me. Thank you." My thanks wasn't just polite, but sincere.

After I paid for the service, I left the shop with a new spring in my step.

* * *

I got ready to drive over to Jacob's after a nice long shower to calm my aching back (Angela's hardwood floor may be pretty but not comfortable to sleep on). It was getting colder day by day as winter was approaching and while I was longing for yards of snow and long nice walks in the glistening beauty, that meant that I couldn't wear sundresses anymore. Pity, because Jake had obviously liked the ones I had worn so far.

Instead, I chose to wear a simple pair of jeans and a red sweater. I slung a scarf around my neck and got in my truck with gloves on, knowing it wouldn't heat up until I would be in La Push. The leaves were starting to change color and I had a passing thought about taking a walk in the woods alone this weekend.

When Jake opened the door after I rang, he seemed distraught. "Hey Bells, you want to take a walk?"

Before I could answer him or even hug him as a greeting he brushed past me and disappeared around the house.

"Hey, wait up!" I called after him and started to jog to catch up. He had really caught me off-guard with his brusque behavior, but I wasn't deterred easily. At least not any more. I smiled inwardly to mobilize my inner strength and simply followed after him.

He slowed down slightly at hearing my call, but still he was striding ahead of me with his long legs. I could see his tensed up shoulders relaxing, though, so I waited for him to blow off his steam.

Jacob finally stopped when we reached the shore and stared out at the water as though it held all the hidden answers. Suddenly, he spun around and punched one of the tree-trunks behind him, hard.

"Do you feel better now?" I cautiously asked him as I stepped out of the treeline to join him.

"Yeah. Sorry for that. I'm just so fed up at my dad and mostly at Quil. It has nothing to do with you, so please accept my apology for storming off like that." He rubbed his hand gingerly, but didn't appear to be hurt.

"I don't think I could stay mad at you for long. Especially since I can see that you are clearly bothered by something. Come here" I held my arms out for my best friend and hugged him. This helped him as he hugged me back fiercely .

"What did they do to make you so upset?" I frowned as we separated. "Shall I go beat up Quil for you? I won't attack your dad for anything, though."

"Ugh, I don't even know why it bothers me so much. You remember how Quil behaved before and how riled up I was at Newton's? That was nothing compared to this morning."

"What happened?" It had to have been pretty bad. Embry, Quil and him used to be inseparable, so much that most people thought of them as brothers when they first met the bunch. I had been around the two other boys for much of my childhood as well and I had no idea what would change a goodhearted and warm person such as Quil so much that Jake – who never had anger issues but was always smiling – would get this angry at him.

"He was decent enough to tell me why he has been glaring at the two of us for the last few weeks." Jake sighed. "And of course, as all weird things happening around here, it has to do with those Cullens."

"Seriously? How come?" I was surprised by this. I wasn't even aware that the pale family interacted with other people enough to be this widely known and blamed.

"Okay." Jake started "I'm just going to quote his words to you, but please don't get mad at me for this. It's his opinion, not mine." I nodded and he continued after a short intake of breath. "It has to do with the legends and this cult that Sam has going on. I already told you about both of those, so you should know what I'm talking about. Here it goes: Apparently Sam and Quil think the myths are all true. According to them the Cullens are bad people, the cold ones even. He claims that he could smell them on you and demanded that I don't see you any more. He _smelled _them. As though that were possible." He huffed. "That's when I got angry."

I took his hand to calm him and to show him I was okay with the story. "Go on."

"When I asked him how he dare demand anything of me after abandoning his best friends just like that, he told me he had every right to. He said that when I join them I will wish I had listened to him. When, not if!"

He seemed exasperate. "As if I would ever join them voluntarily after everything that happened! As if I would leave you, Embry and my family behind like they did! I told him that and he only rose his eyebrow. 'It's not like you can fight it' he said and just disappeared."

My mouth had to be slightly ajar by now. "What? Is he doing drugs?"

"I have no idea, Bells, and now I don't even want to know any more. They are just scaring me now. That's why I talked to my dad about their unusual behavior. But you are never going to guess how he reacted."

I took the most likely guess. "According to your earlier statements, he wasn't all that bothered, right?"

"Yes!" he was fuming now. "I can't believe it. He only told me to cool it and that I would soon understand everything that was going on. 'It's inevitable' he told me."

"Wow." Despite my earlier guess, I had never expected that of Billy. "But he always sides with you, even if you are wrong! He even did when you stole Embry's bike and the handlebar broke off when you two argued over it."

"I know. I just can't believe what's going on. It seems that the whole of La Push is conspiring against me. Or rather us." Billy had really broken his trust with this and I felt very sad for Jake. He looked very disappointed and confused.

"I'm just glad that you believe yourself more than you believe the others. It is a sign of a strong character to stick with your beliefs." I complimented. "I know you are going to work this out and I'll be here to help you out whenever you need me." I said, for once just voicing my compassionate thoughts instead of swallowing them up. I was being myself. This seemed to be a great idea, just as Carol had promised me: Jacob's face lit up and he gave me a smile warm enough to endanger any and all polar bears currently standing on floating ice sheets.

"Thanks for being there for me. I'm a guy, so excuse me if I'm not good at expressing my feelings. But I know that I can always count on you. You're a great friend, the best I could ever ask for." he told me, his eyes full of warmth.

I scrambled together all my courage and confidence for my answer. "You're my best friend here, Jake, and so much more."

My heart was thundering in my chest by now, but I gave him a shaky smile. I was going for what I wanted and hugged him once again. He held me tight to his chest and buried his face in my curls. After a few seconds of eternity, he pulled away and kissed my forehead. Suddenly, his nose scrunched up in confusion.

"How didn't I notice that your hair is different?"

I laughed heartily and shoved him away from me playfully. "Jake! That's not what you tell a girl when she's curled up around you and prettied up!"

"Oh, so you did this for me?" he joked and tucked at one of my curls. "Your ploy seems to work. I am enticed by your beauty." He winked at me and grabbed me by the arm as he turned to go back towards the house. It was getting chilly out here and he had probably seen me shiver. Just that the goose-bumps might have been caused by something but the cold...

"I got my hair cut because I think this suites the real me." I explained to him as we walked back much slower and more peacefully than on our way there. "I have been feeling a little caught up in what people thought of me for a while now, so now I'm just going to do whatever I think is right by my own standards. At least I'm trying to be a better person by only letting myself judge me."

"That's so much harder than it sounds..." Jake looked at me as he spoke. "I'm sixteen years old now, but it took me until a few days ago to let my mother go. I guess I was always a little mad that she left us behind and I really missed her. But perceiving yourself as the victim of circumstances or other people never lets you be yourself. And you can't be someone else. That's like borrowing someone else's luck. Impossible."

So he was older than I thought, almost my age. His words reminded me of something. "Someone wise once said that you can only be yourself because everybody else is already there. I think they were right in their own way."

"They were. They definitely were." He smiled at me. "Besides, if people don't like you for yourself they are not worthy of your attention. They can go craft someone else into their perfect little puppet. You just stay yourself and keep glowing." he told me passionately.

"Glowing?" I was confused.

"You're glowing when you're happy and yourself. It's like you are alight with happiness. I've always liked that about you."

I smiled brightly at his words. "Isn't that somewhat the purpose of everyone's life? To bring a little light and happiness and love to others."

"Well then you have already achieved your goal, haven't you?" We had slowed down almost to a stop by now. The house was still out of sight, but we were talking too animatedly to keep walking.

"Just because I achieved something once doesn't mean I'm done for life. It's about every day, isn't it?" When Jake nodded in affirmation I continued. "And there are quite a few things I want to do before I die."

"For example?" he asked, turning towards me. I had his undivided attention and his eyes sparkled beautifully in the sun. He looked... hopeful?

In a split second decision I leaned forward until mere inches separated us. "I would rather show than tell you." I whispered as I wound an arm around his neck and into his long hair.

And then he closed the gap between us and kissed me, a little hesitantly at first as we were both inexperienced. His hands gently held me at my waist and he pulled me tight as our lips met. The kiss was unhurried, pure bliss that spread though me and warmed me from within.

When we parted he leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes closed.

Too soon we let go to return to the house, a blush on both of us. His russet skin subdued the color while my cheeks flared up red, but we were both smiling radiantly as I slipped my hand into his and we resurfaced from our almost otherworldly walk in the woods.

* * *

**There really is no excuse for abandoning my story like that, but I have found my motivation for writing this again.**


	31. When Secrecy Met Real Life ft Jasper

**Chapter 31: When Secrecy Met Real Life– Jasper's Point of view**

"**All of us have wonders hidden in our breasts, only needing circumstances to evoke them." (Charles Dickens) **

* * *

It has always been hard for me to not get bored or aggressive in school, seeing as I was surrounded by a bunch of human teenagers with their heart as scrambled up as their minds. Some of them were continuously rubbing me the wrong way with only a few paths of light to rest my eyes on.

Sighing too quietly for human ears to hear, I took in the emotions of the ones surrounding me in my second hour class, English. It was always the worst on Fridays when we had both our our classes of Monday and Wednesday, plus the classes we only had on Tuesday and Thursday. It gave the students more chances to meet each other, more homework to hand in, and less time in class compared to more running around in between. Plus, it was the day before the weekend, so the school was usually abuzz with weekend plans, gossip and a certain restlessness.

Right now Lauren was practically dark green with jealousy while she emitted dark red anger in waves. I quickly turned away from her and went on to Jessica, who was beside her. She was better, though her outgoing nature and selfish curiosity were bothering me. I had never really liked the orange ones. Alice was the only exception, however; her compassionate and energetic character tinged her in a soft pink glow as well. Some of the students had obviously delved into the classwork as they felt nothing but overly analytical. It was to the point of feeling fatigued and stressed. They were seemingly trying to make up for lost time by learning everything all at once. The brown surrounding them was better than the antsy yellow surrounding the others who were staring at the clock. As though it would right a minute sooner just because they urged it on with their eyes... Jana's toe hurt and Caren was in a soft lavender daydream.

I finally stopped the wandering of my eyes to rest them on Angela and Bella in the front. They were the most amiable of the lot. Angela was always exceptionally calm. She was like an indigo room: calming, deeply feeling, and intuitive. Bella was a little more lively than her, intuitive as well-she had been coming closer and closer to revealing our secret-but also communicative. Lately, something had changed with her. She had found her path in life and herself. Her trust in herself and the world had gotten brighter.

I usually tried to sit with Angela or Erik in sight and the fact that Bella had taken to sitting with them made high-school life even more bearable. Even though I liked Forks and our secluded house in the forest, I had opted for going to college when we decided to move once again. But Alice simply loved the drama of high-school with prom, football and love-triangles-even going so far as to make friends with humans-so I couldn't really be mad at having to stay here. There were worse towns.

When our teacher assigned us a paper with our seating partners I turned to Edward and shrugged. "Paper, rock, scissors again or will you just do it?" he asked me quietly.

"As if." I raised my eyebrows as high as they would go."If you weren't constantly cheating to get what you want you wouldn't stand a chance in hell to make it through school."

Then I made a fair suggestion. "Let's draw matches."

I pulled two out of my pocket, broke off the tip off of one, and held out my hand. When Edward drew the short one I only smirked at him and relaxed back into my seat. We usually took turns with writing our papers because it didn't take us long anyways. I didn't sit with Alice in class because she had a way of distracting me more than I usually was and because it was fun to annoy Edward with my thoughts. He usually tuned me out when he could, only listening in when he didn't understand my motives (which was quite often).

Around us the class had erupted in whispers and talk as our teacher left to 'get some reports'. We all knew she wouldn't return for the rest of the hour. Since I didn't have to write anything I tuned to the conversation that was evolving in front.

"I'm going to La Push this weekend." Angela was telling Bella. "Carol is dragging me there to meet some friends of hers. Her father is working for the reservation."

"Do you know her friends' names?" Bella perked up and sat a little straighter.

"One of them she called Em and the other's name was Clara. Oh, and there is this guy called Quilt – funny name by the way- but they aren't friends any more apparently."

"Quil and Embry." She smiled but sadness and confusion burst out of her. "Yeah, I got to know the two of them at a bonfire some time ago and I used to play in the rez when I was little."

Bella sighed and then continued while she scribbled on her page. "Quil has changed though, he's behaving a little strangely these days. Jake thinks he joined some cult or gang."

"You really can't help some people..." was Angela's wistful response. I knew what was happening, though. They were obviously talking about werewolves to be. I shuddered. Bella really had a way to mess with the supernatural. First she comes close to us and now to them.

"Speaking of Jake" Bella lowered her voice to a whisper, but I could still hear them clearly over the noise. "What is up with you and Erik? You seem to be avoiding each other."

"Are we?" Insecurity tinged the air around Angela.

"Oh,come on!" Bella exclaimed, then whispered again. "Don't tell me you are scared after you gave me that speech the other day! The same goes for you, too."

"But I don't think he feels the same." Angela admitted.

"That's bull and you know it. Even if that were true you can't just avoid a good friend of yours because he is a good friend." She nudged her friend with her elbow. "Get over it and go get him!"

As a burst of confidence erupted from her, Angela smiled at her friend. "Okay," she said simply.

"You met with Jake again, didn't you? How did he like your hair?"

Forest-green longing filled the air around Bella as she answered. "Yeah, we met in La Push. We were talking about the past the other day when he called me. It's something that we both tried to push away, but we used to be best friends when I still lived here with my dad. When I had to leave I severed all connections so it wouldn't hurt so bad and that was a mistake apparently. But it's no use to cry over spilled milk, even though I hurt us both."

She paused for a moment, I think to figure out how to go on.

"When I came over yesterday we ended up talking about this thing with Quil and then about the sense of life and our goals for the future. I told him that I want to bring happiness to those around me and he told me that I had already reached my goal in life under these circumstances." Angela smiled widely at this. Looking at her I could tell that the boy was right. "I had realized earlier that Jake was slowly becoming my best friend on top of everything else, so when he asked me what I still wanted to do in life..." Bella trailed off and blushed scarlet. "We kissed."

"You know this is really romantic, right?"

Bella just smiled. "Three times is dating, remember? I'm almost there." Then she turned back to her classwork.

Suddenly, Edward mumbled next to me. He had obviously finished our paper. "So she's running with the wolves now?"

Quietly, I responded. "I highly doubt that she knows. Though I wouldn't be surprised..."

"It is unhealthy. She isn't scared of us either, although she knows too much." Edward radiated concern and confusion.

"Why don't you tell her then? Chances are that Jacob Black will and his version of our story is going to be so much worse." I focused on logic and calmness and let it envelope me. Then I tried to inconspicuously include Edward in my little bubble.

"Stop that. I don't like you messing with me," he growled when he noticed.

"As if you aren't messing with my thoughts."

I tried a different approach then. "Why don't you try to find out how much she really knows about the Blacks and ourselves and then we will go from there. I know from experience that the imagination is worse than the truth. I don't want humans in on this either, but in this case she already knows too much. It is tell her or kill her and I'd rather not..." I flinched as rage hit me from the side and tried to scoot away from its source.

"Stop it and don't talk about killing her. This is the safest for everyone, believe me. I brought her into this and I will deal with it my way unless Alice sees her telling anyone." He was glaring at me angrily.

"You and I both know that she can't..."

"I know!" He interrupted me, hissing. "But she can't even go tell if she knows nothing. And I'll warn her away from those dogs."

The almost black stubbornness that pulled in the energy from around him showed me that there was no use in further arguing with him. So I simply turned back to the front and continued my perusal of our classmates while trying to ignore the raging abyss next to me. He was seriously draining me and wearing me thin with his recent brusque and angry demeanor.

As soon as the bell rang Edward pushed out of his seat a little too fast and shot out of the classroom, presumably to catch Bella in the halls. I sighed at his antics and turned around to Alice.

* * *

While I absentmindedly played with Alice's hair as she got her books for the next class out of her locker, I tuned into the conversation around the corner. Obviously I had been right with my earlier assessment of Edward's intentions. I half-closed my eyes in order to be able to see them better before my inner eye while Alice stiffened in concentration next to me.

There they were: bright radiating blue with tinges of red hot anger and the dark abyss pulling everything in. The two of them were not at Edward's locker, so it had to be Bella's.

"How do you even know how much time I spend with him? And anyways, I don't think this is any of your concern." I could hear her voice tinged with indignation.

"It is my concern because I know a certain few things about the people in La Push that you don't even want to know about."

"I thought you were the dangerous ones. You can't tell me to stay away from the whole area and at the same time go to class with me without being a complete and utter hypocrite!" Bella huffed. She had a point there. The wolves might be volatile and dangerous like no others, but it couldn't really be much worse than being cooped up in a room with your singer for days on end.

"You will just have to trust me on this," Edward replied, grasping for straws.

"How can I trust you if you promise me one thing and do the other? I still remember what you told me in the hospital and I also clearly recall overhearing you and Emmett talking in the hallway! It's not like I could help listening- being tied to a bed and all."

"You heard...?" Edward trailed off and the confusion rolled off of him in waves. He was so flabbergasted that it looked like a question mark had been stamped on his forehead and was glowing there for all the world to see. I was wondering, too. When had Emmett been at the hospital? She was obviously referring to my argument with Edward, but why would she think I was Emmett? We don't sound alike the least. Unless...

"Even if I trusted you I would still have to question why you feel the need to interfere with my personal business. You are neither my father nor the police, so please refrain from handing out warnings again. Especially if you have nothing more than rumors to prove them with. And I don't trust rumors." Her voice held an air of finality and her fleck of light brushed around the corner and passed us by, now lacking a lot of the lively blue. It was as though Edward had sucked her dry- pun intended- at least emotionally.

Both Alice and I straightened up from our position of eaves-dropping.

"Someone will have to talk to her eventually." she sighed. "It is really danger prevention, she might cause a scene if she keeps arguing with dear Eddy like that."

I smiled at her. "Though I must admit my admiration. I don't think Edward ever got reprimanded like that by a mere human."

She chuckled in response. "I think I will put her on my like-list."

"Do that." I gave her a wide smile and a peck on the forehead. We were in public, after all, and I was raised to be a gentleman. That didn't mean that I refrained from cursing like a sailor when I felt like it, though. Living in a household with Emmett for an extended period of time would do that to anyone. But Edward of course.

Alice didn't pout at me like she usually did, which surprised me, but simply turned around and shut her locker with her foot. A weird cocktail of emotions tumbled around her.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, concern lacing my voice.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked her when she was silent for a nanosecond too long and shot her a burst of blazing white love.

"Yes, thank you Jazz. I was just lost in thought for a minute." She seemed to catch herself and smiled up at me. I laced my fingers through hers and gave her a comforting squeeze before we continued on to our next class. Contrary to her words, my normally bouncy and golden Alice didn't look at me for the duration of the walk and seemed a little subdued. But I didn't bother her again, because I knew she would tell me whenever she was ready. I wasn't one to push others although I sometimes ached to – I was privy to their innermost longings and fears, after all.

And if Bella was ready to ask someone but pesky Edward about the family, I knew that I would at least tell her some assorted truths.

She deserved better than petty lies.

Anyone does.

* * *

**Another update to make up for all the ones I didn't do. Please help me with the plot by reviewing and suggesting!**

**Please don't be mad at my changing of Jasper's ability as it was never fully described in the books. And I like him too much to let him stay a shadow in the background! By the way: What is up with Alice?**

**Also, a huge thank you to Twilightfan108 who made me come out of my abandonment of this story with the first review in 2012, and to Peyton-Marie-James who will be helping me out with the story from now on.**


	32. Assorted Truths

**Chapter 32: Assorted Truths – Bella's point of view**

"**Just as much as we see in others we have in ourselves. " (William Hazlitt)**

* * *

I simply couldn't believe the _nerve_ of that boy to talk to me about all of this again. As if he had any business to poke his pale nose into my relationship with Jake or with any of the kind and considerate people I got to know in La Push. I couldn't exactly count Quil in that number any more, but even his behavior would never be reason enough for me to shy away from a whole village which I had spent the major part of my childhood in. I had deserted them once before and now there was nothing short of a lightning bolt striking me down that would get me to do so again. As I stomped to my truck after the last class that day, I was fuming.

Edward's arrogant and belittling attitude had proven my point: He would never tell me anything about his family if he could help it.

I had to dig for information elsewhere. One source of information could be the tribe's legends, if they really were about the Cullens in some twisted way. Another could be his siblings. They seemed to be more reasonable than him, so maybe I could try asking one of them.

Yes, I was going to do that first thing tomorrow, I resolved as I drove off the parking lot a little faster than was necessary. I usually wasn't a very temperamental person but maybe this was just another part to discovering myself and getting what I wanted.

The first victim of my curiosity would obviously have to be Jasper. I knew him the best-though that was hardly much-and he seemed to be more open-minded than his bronze-haired brother.

* * *

On Saturday I gate-crashed the Black's family gathering just as I had previously announced to Jacob. I hadn't seen Rachel in far too long and if I didn't get over my fears of seeing her again maybe I never would.

Thankfully, seeing her again wasn't awkward at all .

When I rung the bell on the front door, Jake opened and hugged me to him before quietly pulling me inside the house.

He grabbed my hand and I followed him silently into the kitchen. As the kitchen wasn't separated by a wall and a door from the living room area, this was fairly easy to do. Rachel stood there with her back to us, working away on dinner while she was joking with a male who was hidden from sight by the stairs.

With as much stealth as we could muster we tip-toed up to her, signaling at the man now coming into sight to keep quiet. He nodded his head of brown hair and grinned at us. He seemed like a very friendly person and looked surprisingly exotic for someone who went to college in Washington State. I could imagine him surfing on some southern island, but not taking notes on math or languages.

But wasn't it Rebecca who was with the Hawaiian surfer?

I shook away my confusion, gave him a conspiratory smile and loudly cleared my throat just as I stood behind Rachel.

Rachel flinched and almost dropped the cutting knife, but caught herself. Even before she turned around she was yelling at me. "Leah Clearwater, some time between second grade and now it stopped being funny to..."

When she saw me standing before her with a huge, but apologetic smile on my face, her angry face dropped and quickly moved from one of confusion to surprise and then to elation. She kept that expression on as she fiercely hugged me. She didn't even notice that her younger brother still held my hand.

* * *

Later, we sat around the Blacks' big, round kitchen table and listened to each others' tales of the past years.

I had just finished telling them about my sunny years in Phoenix and about how much leaving had hurt me-it felt good to have told them all my side of the story so maybe they could forgive me-when Rachel officially introduced my to her boyfriend.

"While it was nice to know that I have reason to forgive you for your long absence from town, Bella, I also have quite the tale to tell. Your sneaking up to me- move had me so confused that I forgot to introduce my significant other. Bella, this is Akeela Finau, Akeela, this is my childhood friend Bella Swan."

We smiled at each other over the table and he winked at me.

"Finau? Isn't that the same last name as Rebecca's husband? Are you from Hawai too?" I asked Akeela.

He smiled at my question - he had probably already answered it quite a few times over the course of the few hours he had spent in La Push since his arrival -and patiently explained. "We're distant relatives, actually, but that tends to happen on an island. His grandfather's cousin is my grandfather. We sometimes see each other at family gatherings. While he is a surfer I chose to leave Hawai to study literature on the continent. The world is just a big village, after all."

"Do you miss the sun?" I immediately had to know.

"Yes, sometimes", he wistfully replied. "But it is worth the rain and the darkness", he said and shared a loving smile with Rachel.

"I can relate", I laughed.

"We met our second semester at university", Rachel continued to tell their tale. "He was sitting outside even though it should have been much too cold for anyone, let alone for someone who looks like he just walked off a beach. Akeela was reading a book with his wonderful nerdy reading glasses on under a tree in front of my dorm at Washington State. When I saw the calm on his face and his smile as he turned the pages of his old, worn book, I knew I was at home. He was so at ease with himself and his surroundings."

"I had actually stared at her quite a while before she noticed me sitting there", Akeela supplied and winked at Jacob. "I pretended to read when I saw her looking over and I had to smile because I caught her staring at me. Women. They think they are so subtle."

Rachel elbowed him softly in the ribs, but smiled at him. "I'm glad though, or we wouldn't have met."

"Yes, and I'm afraid that my move to ask you out wasn't all that smooth, either..."

Our laughter filled the house as Rachel and Akeela told us of their road to today. They would be staying for a few weeks while they wrote their term-papers and I was happy to get to know them. Rachel had changed so much since I had last seen her that she was a completely new person. And I wasn't the little girl with scraped-up knees anymore, either.

* * *

On Monday, it was time to carry out my plan to squeeze information out of Jasper. I knew that he was in my English class, but as it wasn't yet Tuesday I had to catch him between lessons or corner him after lunch.

My mission proved to be much easier than anticipated. When I walked to my locker before first hour I saw him and his girlfriend Alice standing by a locker just at the last corner before my own. They were talking quietly among themselves, but something seemed to be amiss. Alice's smile seemed a little strained and Jasper's shoulders were tensed. I hesitated for a while, not wanting to disturb them, but then Alice spotted me and greeted me over Jasper's shoulder.

"Hello, Bella", rang out her cheery voice as Jasper turned around. "It is nice to see you. How are you today?"

"I'm fine, thanks. You're okay, too?" I asked, expecting a polite lie that promptly followed.

"Yes, thank you. I will leave you two to talk." Alice smiled at me and abruptly left. I hadn't expected her to tell me what was wrong (we weren't friends at all, so why would she?), but her behavior confused me a little. Jasper squinted after her, as if trying to figure something out and then turned to me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you two. I was about to leave, but I was already here, so here I am", I awkwardly apologized.

"It's fine, Bella", Jasper calmed me down. "It's just that somethin' is botherin' Alice and she won't tell me what it is."

He seemed genuinely worried about her and his voice sounded different. I placed my hand on his arm in sympathy. It was cold, as expected and I had to stop myself from asking him about it now.

"I'm sure she will come around. Us girls sometimes need to figure things out for ourselves before we feel comfortable discussing them with anyone. I'm convinced that it has nothing to do with you, I sometimes do the same. She'll talk to you on her own time."

Jasper sighed and smiled at me a little sadly. "Thanks for the pep-talk, I really hope that you're right. She's never been like this before. But on to other matters, I shouldn't bother you with this. "

"I came to find you because I was hoping to speak to you after school. It seems like you are the only one I could ask about this... I really need to ask you about something your brother said the other day. Edward won't talk to me with honesty and I don't really know your other siblings or your girlfriend. There's something I really need to know regarding your family." I tried to stay vague with my request so I wouldn't immediately scare him off.

"Sure, I was in fact waiting for you to come to me with your questions." He smiled at my puzzled expression and went on to explain.

"I am aware of what goes on in the other Cullens' lives. I figured if you really wanted to know you would eventually go look for information elsewhere than with Edward. It looks like I was right." He winked at me, then added. "Don't let him bother you, it's a wonder he talks to you at all. I'll meet you after school in front of the gym and we'll talk then."

"Thanks, Jasper. I know that I haven't really had a chance to get to know you all that well, but I really appreciate your straight-forward way of talking to me. It means a lot to me to go without twisted rhetoric."

We smiled at each other as the bell rang and we parted ways.

* * *

After my last class for the day, Housing and Interior Design, I rushed to pack my things and get to the gym. Usually I lingered after class and needed a long time to gather my things. I could really see myself starting a career as an architect after school and taking Interior Design and Physics in school was the closest I could get to this path right now.

While I waited for Jasper to arrive I fidgeted nervously. I absolutely couldn't mess up this conversation. I couldn't have another Cullen lie to me or try to placate me and I didn't want to risk the tentative friendship I felt I had built with Jasper over the course of the last few weeks.

I calmed down a little, though, as I saw Jasper sauntering over to me with a slight smile on his lips.

"Let's take a walk, shall we?" he offered and we left the building into the cold autumn air.

After a few minutes of aimless wandering I started to speak. "Edward said something the other day. He mentioned being able to read minds- everyone but my own. And he keeps telling me to stay away from him and from La Push. I'm curious about 90% of the things he says, but the mind-reading really irked me. Please don't be mad at me for I consider you to be something close to a friend, but I have to ask you: What is it that he won't tell me?" I felt better now that the dreaded question was out of the way. It was phrased open enough to allow any kind of answer and wasn't limited on any one kind of topic. Now I only had to wait, hope and maybe prod a little more.

"I think I will start by telling you a little bit about myself. If you should notice that I am leaving things out of the story, for I have no doubt that an observant person like you will see this, please accept it as it is for now. I don't mean to distrust you, but some things are simply not mine to share with anyone outside of the family." He briefly closed his eyes and then began to explain.

"I was born in Texas and had a quite happy childhood there. I was raised by my parents on a small farm together with my younger siblings, Anna and William. I had my own horse which I loved dearly and I used to ride around our land for hours. I helped arrange all our family's business deals even at a young age because I am able to accurately perceive others' emotions.

"One day I was fetched up by three female gang leaders. I was going to offer them directions for they seemed to be lost on our land one evening, but they attacked me as soon as I got off of my horse and took me with them. For the next years I only knew the terrors and bloodiness of the gang wars and I almost forgot the idyll that I was born into. That is, until Alice found me unsupervised one day. I had become valuable to the gang-leader because I had a way with other people, so her people hardly let me out of sight. This particular evening I had managed to get away to a local bar, though, and there she was waiting for me. She has a talent for knowing things and she knew where to find me...

"She convinced me that there was something other than the twisted games for power the gangs were playing and I went with her to the Cullens. I'm the newest addition to the family and sometimes it is hard on me to remember all that I have gone through in the past." He sighed and rubbed his temple.

"Do you all have a way of knowing unusual things? The way you described it, you know emotions, Alice knows where to find others and Edward really knows other people's thoughts?" I was flabbergasted. Was he trying to tell me that Edward had told me the truth?

Jasper only nodded in response and gave me a moment to mull over my previous conversations with Edward.

"But why can he not read my thoughts?"

"I'm not really sure about it. I have some trouble getting a read on you, as does Alice. It might be a talent of yours..." He genuinely seemed clueless. "Our talents go a little further than your description, though. Alice is what you might call a psychic, but only randomly. Edward is a mind-reader, but not on all people. I can see people's emotions and even reach out with my own", he struggled to explain.

"You _see _them?" I was surprised.

"Yes, it's like what the Buddhists call an aura. It is a little like a soft glow of light emitting from the people and even animals surrounding me. It shows me their emotional and physical state even when I close my eyes. I can push out my own radiating emotions to calm down birds, for example. It sounds a little crazy, but it really is a wonderful thing."

Jasper seemed a little anxious of my reaction. I hurried to reassure him.

"It does seem strange if you never heard about it, but I don't think you are crazy. My mom Renee went through a Buddhist phase once and dragged me along to yoga classes so I'm familiar with the concept of auras. Don't the colors symbolize the emotions?" He nodded. "I just never knew that people other than ascetic monks could see them. Wow. You really are a special lot!" I exclaimed.

After a moment of thought I had another question for him. "Can the others do stuff like that, too?"

He laughed at my excited expression. "No, not exactly, but they are very special people in their own way. Esme and Carlisle are overly compassionate and understanding and devoted to their family. Rose is beautiful and still able to repel any boy thinking of approaching her, have you noticed?" I smiled and nodded.

"And Emmett, you could have guessed, is just about the strongest guy you will ever meet."

He took a breath and then answered my unasked question. "That does not tell you all the answers you want, but it does help to sort this out a little. We are all special people with difficult pasts and therefore we don't really mingle with the other students so much. We fear the discovery of our abilities by the others and we have others to fear, like the gangs I escaped from. It is like being in a witness-protection-program. Most of us have died to their original families. Some of our last names and relations were changed and it is of the utmost importance that no one knows the complete truth about us. It would be dangerous to us and to the person with the knowledge. For the public, Rosalie is my twin-sister, although she is from New York. It is the reason why I had to drop my accent. And that is just one example of what we have to do every day to ensure everyone's safety.

"Edward is right about this- associating too closely with our family might prove fatal. I cannot tell you anymore without making a few phone-calls and talking to the family and I can't promise you if I will be successful. Don't count on it." He was very serious and completely honest with his words. His honey-colored eyes were boring intently into mine as he talked to me.

"It is very important that you understand this: You may _under no circumstances_ talk to anyone about anything you noticed about us. We do not want to be in danger because of you and we don't want to endanger you or anyone else by dragging you into this. A slip-up would force us all to leave town and build new alibis for ourselves. There is almost no one besides you who knows about our secrets and we want to keep it that way. I trust you to protect our secret as though it were your own. The fact that you suspected anything of us was almost reason enough to make us leave before, so don't take this lightly. Only my assessment of your emotions and Alice's ability were what kept us here."

I gasped at this revelation. "I didn't want you to have to leave!"

"You did not know at the time and Edward did not handle this ideally." He offered me a small smile. "No use crying over spilled milk, I'm actually quite impressed with your ability to stand up to Edward."

"I'm still sorry about this. I understand that you couldn't and can't tell me everything about this and I promise to honor and keep your secrets", I vowed.

"Thank you. That is all I wanted to hear. Did you realize that this vow means includes not arguing publically with Edward anymore, though?"

_Crap._

* * *

**What do you think?**


	33. Important Author's note

Sorry, this isn't a new chapter, but an important author's note.

This story is currently being rewritten from the very start to make it more fluent and consistent. I am going to repost it under the same title: "**Role Reversal – Revised version**" or something similar.

Because of that, I won't update here for a while, but repost the chapters under the other version. I recommend reading that story, as it has a better readability and I'm much more satisfied with it.

Love to all my reviewers and the people who put my story on alert or as a favorite, especially to _snow eopard, _as I haven't answered that review yet.


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